Thought I’d write down this fairly funny encounter I had post lockdown. It’ll be short and sweet because it really was just a one night thing.
Just coming out of lockdown and finally feeling like I could go outside without dying of turbo SARS I was feeling pretty good. At least that was until I decided to pick up some groceries at my local Asda (shitty U.K supermarket known for being cheap and cheerful). Just as I was finally coming to a conclusion about whether I should buy cheddar or some weird sounding french cheese I found myself assaulted by a shopping trolly wielding midget doing a runner from his mum.
After resisting the urge to punt the little cunt down the dairy aisle after listening to the little bastard get gobby, I was about ready to seriously lay into his mother about responsible parenting when I realised she was what we like to call in London “fit as fuck”. I’m talking your stereotypical British young single mum in London, long blonde extensions, big tits and a tight little arse with an accent that may someday driver her future husband into throwing himself off a bridge.