A [F]orrest Gu[M]p Kind of Day

More of my misadventures from Los Angeles.

[My previous story](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6iil32/my_introduction_to_california/)

There will be a little bit of set-up here but I’ll try and get to the good parts quickly, so bear with me please.

Through work I met a guy named Jerry and helped him out in a big way, mainly because it didn’t inconvenience me too much and he seemed like a nice guy. He was adamant about returning the favor so we swapped phone numbers with him promising to get in touch with me. I had no belief he that he would though, it’s an L.A. thing but low-and-behold a week or two later he texted me and asked what my plans for Labor Day were as it was only a few days away. I was off work and didn’t have any plans and told him as much so he invited me to the pool party at the Standard Hotel on Sunset. I hadn’t been to the Sunset Strip yet but I was aware of it and it’s notorious nature so I agreed and told him I’d be flying solo which he claimed wouldn’t be an issue.

A Cumming Together – Chapter One [MF] [partial-BDSM]

6.00 AM

I can still taste her lipstick, smudged over my thumb sweet, acid, rancid taste floating inside the cab. It’s early by the looks of things, streets not busy, people shuffling and that tinge of twilight. On the way to the office got to stop by the apartment get redressed, this shirt covered in stains glittering with a battered shade of scarlet and brown. Sleeve torn, button MIA. The cab jerks to the corner, I move for the door gesturing a stuttered form of thank you, gracefully crossing the polyculturlistic gap of endearment. On to the curb, reaching back for the briefcase and with a quick tug I am outside and into the cold. I am waiting for the bourbon, lack of sleep, and those insolent lines of coke to fade. Where is the hollowness? I keep waiting … the elevator door opens and I begin to soar to the 14th floor in one of those lifts with the regional voices. I think she is Scottish, though maybe I am detecting a northern twang. It’s sexy with that authoritarian swagger, can’t say I like that, but, a few ideas trickle into my head of a plan to silence her.

The Night I Ca[m]e Inside of my Ex Girl[f]riend

I have a love-hate relationship with copious backstory/lead-up so I’ll try and thread the needle here.

The events of this story transpired on a night during the summer after I graduated high school, but I should back up a little first. From sophomore to senior year, I had dated a girl named Jenn. I loved Jenn. We had a fun and vibrant relationship that seemed like it would never end. Not too long after we began dating, we took each other’s virginities and proceeded to fuck constantly for the next 2 years. I had more sex in that time than any other 2-year span since. Trojan stock soared…but then it ended. I’ll spare you the gory details of why the relationship ended, but let’s just chalk it up to her suddenly wanting something else shortly after the start of senior year. High school shit. It wasn’t until we were done that I realized just how lucky I had been with respect to Jenn’s body. Imagine a volleyball player. Tall. Long, thick thighs. Flat stomach. Respectable breasts. Long blonde hair. But most of all, HUGE ass. I was absolutely obsessed with her ass. Still kind of enamored with it to be completely honest. Suffice it to say that we fucked doggy style a lot. I’d say Jenn’s celebrity doppelganger would be a tall, and even curvier Amber Heard. To this day, any time I see a woman with Jenn’s body type I can’t help but stare. Pavlov’s dog.

A trip to the mall [Mast][FemSolo][Apocalyptic]

Of all the things Jenny had imagined about a society crashing before it actually happened what she had expected least was the degree to which she enjoyed it.
She had fought, shot and killed people, stolen food and supplies and now she was sitting in the back of an almost empty supermarket and masturbated because she damn well could, and frankly Jenny wasn’t sure which of those felt best.

The survivor’s guilt she had read so much about was more of a survivor’s pleasure, the pain and grieve where there, but felt more like challenge and motivation to keep going.
And that was what she did, day after day and sometimes even night, the urge to stay up to date on business news long replaced by the urge to stay on top of the competition, more alive and better armed and hidden stashes of supplies giving her the room of movement she needed to survive instead of statistics and numbers giving her the opportunity to stay employed in a job she had never liked to begin with.

Kellyanne Meets the Congressional Black Caucus; [M(x58)F][buk][gang][oral][huml][painal][nc][celeb]

I genuinely hope this story offends you.

-Love
Starla

****

“‘Help Wanted: Tremendously Influential Politician seeking Experienced Heel. (Also, some experience in childcare)’ That’s what the advertisement read,” the aged blonde spoke to the mirror. This job was aging her rapidly, more so than she ever could have predicted. Every day, her boss sent her out in a ball and chain, on camera, for the media vultures to pry apart. Figuratively, of course. “‘I want to make you famous,’ he said. ‘You’ll be a star…’” She applied gaudy makeup to her mirthless, worn face, blowing deadpan kisses at herself.

When she came into work that morning, and everyone gave her mournful looks as if she were a cattle marching into the slaughterhouse, everything in her told her to run, and go back home. She needed this job; her family had grown used to the high life, and this job could provide that. “Evil delivered with a sweet, loving smile,” had rarely ever been seen so perfectly done outside of movies and other fiction. She was indeed a marvel of nature.

Emma Watson Was Late for the Golden Globes [Str8][celeb][blkmail][voy][reluc]

I actually found this prompt via another subreddit, but took a little too long to get around to writing it. Enjoy.

—-

*Prelude*

“Bloody hell!” Emma Watson hisses as she walks into the gas station convenience store. She was late for the Golden Globes, currently in the process of missing the red carpet, and if her driver didn’t route them properly, she might also miss the award she up for, not that she had any hope of winning, but that, at least, she was resigned to. And now she had to sue the loo, desperately so, which was how her driver somehow got turned around, off the highway, and into area that could barely be called a neighborhood. The place was basically deserted, but the lights were on.

She glanced down at her white dress, short for an awards gown, but still presentable. Thw white of the dressed gleamed in the flourescents as she clicked in her heels over the pavement toward the entrance. Her breasts bounced with each step, free under the front of the dress, tied with a big bow at her collar. The dress was more or less backless but for a narrow stip of fabric that prevented her ass from falling out. She couldn’t have worn a bra if she wanted to, and the designer was adamant that nipple tape would show through the fabric. Instead, as she walked into the shop, her nipples hardened in the blasting AC, and in the brighter light, you could almost see her nipples. “The paparazzi are going to love that.” She thought, grimly.

Giantess Lammy X Parappa: Big-Step-Sisterly Fuckery and Giantess Toriel X Asriel: Motherly Fuckery [Fanfictions][mF][MMFF][Fsub][Fdom][Str8][Bi][anal][bd][bdsm][bst][buk][celeb][fantasy][huml][inc][mast][Mdom][Msub][nc][oral][prost][reluc][sm][voy][shrinking][MindCont][BrainFucking]

Basically, these two are some of the absolute nastiest shit you’ll ever read in fanfiction, but the satire is so freaking hilarious and the writing quality so top-notch that it somehow makes up for it anyway.

Without spoiling anything about them, I can say with confidence that if you ever wanted to see Parappa The Rapper nakedly crawling around on the external surface of Um Jammer Lammy’s brain like Spider-Man and fucking every last square inch of it (as well as a whole multitude of other similarly hilariously wretched and disgusting things including but not limited to characters being gang-raped by the horrifically deformed Amalgamates from Undertale), you’ve come to the right place.

*”MY FUCKING LIFE…” Alphys cried, pouring the remaining contents of her bleach bottle into her favorite beaker and drinking it like a boss*

[FMF] 3some action w/ my wife and neighbor

This turned out to be way longer than expected so skip to the **** if you don’t want any context to the story and are just looking for the juicy details :)

 
Late last year, my wife and I decided to open our sex lives to additional partners. We’ve been together for nearly a decade but are just recently married. Early on in our relationship, we experimented with this kind of thing by bringing in one of her friends. We had a lot of fun with her and had random threesomes on and off for about a year. Over the years, we talked about having an open relationship and bringing in more partners but never really followed through with it.

 
Our communication with one another is stellar and after discussing the matter in depth we came to a few conclusions about what we want and need. What we realized is that our sex drives don’t necessarily match one another’s; mine is high and hers non-so much. We also both believe that humans are not biologically built for monogamy which is why many of us struggle to remain faithful to our partners. We are absolutely in love and have a great relationship so we do not think that having physical intimacy with other peoples will change that.

[MFF] Crazy night in Austin

I’ll start things off by saying I am not a sexual god, I am not a male model and I am not a billionaire, I am just the luckiest motherfucker alive. (24, 5’11, average looking white dude)

And a disclaimer: I will not say what year this was or the girls’ real names because you guys are smart and could use the interwebs to narrow it down really fast.

Living With My Boyfriend, Loving My Girlfriend [MF & FF]

**Chimera**

In the mirror’s glassy surface, I watch detachedly—almost disembodied—as a familiar hand applies makeup on my face.

Foundation, thick and matte. Powder, dust from a flaking cake that shimmers on the skin as the brush caresses cheeks, forehead, nose, neck, and breasts.

Blush.

Eyeshadow.

Eyeliner.

Lipliner.

Lipstick, for color. Red. Fire-engine bright. Slathered on in a pretty, painted smile, it reminds me of a clown.

A tear slides down my cheek, ruining all my work, causing the paint to smear.

All except that smile.

My smile is—as always—perfect.

———

“I can’t believe this!”

I yawn and stretch, hearing the crinkle of newspaper beside me.

“I cannot believe this!” Keith Longrin yells again, pounding his fist against the mattress. I roll over to look up at him sitting against the headboard of our bed. “Look at this, Cady, just look at this!” He waves the paper at me. “The governor’s priest—Father Whatshisname—just came out of the closet today in the Sunday paper. The front page!”