A Little Birthday B&E [MF]

My wife and I have recently decided at taking a crack at whoring ourselves/stories on the internet. You can check out our (very new) blog at http://www.relationshipgoalsxxx.com that has some pictures, videos, etc.

My 32nd birthday was the first that I spent with my then-girlfriend-now-wife Laura. After a run of bad luck that had us co-habitating extremely early in our relationship, we decided to take fat vacation – one where we choose our destination based on the food available nearby.

Most Redditors, I assume, would have chosen New York, Los Angeles, San Fransisco, Portland, or Austin for a culinary vacation. We found ourselves heading to Cleveland, OH.

It was immediately apparent as we hit the highway as to how a good portion of this three hour drive would be spent, as we weren’t 10 miles from home before my cock was out of my pants and I was getting a spectacular handjob.

I merged onto the highway where we’d spend the majority of the drive, and no sooner had I turned on the cruise control before Laura was bent over the center of the car, blowing me as I drove. I tried to focus on the road, but that can be extremely difficult when you’re getting a porn-quality sloppy blowjob.

Sticking my dick in Buffy Spice [MF]

In this chapter I introduce two new girls, Buffy Spice and Ninjamindfuck. Buffy Spice is so named because her style is a mix of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the spice girls. She was 5’3″ curly blonde hair green eyes and a very very big set of tits, past the DD cup range by a size or two. She certainly loved dressing to show them off, with low-cut shirts featuring prominently in her wardrobe along with tight skirts and high heels. She played up the usual blonde stereotypes for her own benefit, but was a lot smarter than she let on. I had known her since grade school and we remained friends since. I knew she had a bit of a thing for me, but I held off from making anything of it because I was very attracted to her friend, Ninjamindfuck.

Our First Threesome Failed Spectacularly. Video. [FFM].

Story from my wife’s perspective: http://relationshipgoalsxxx.com/the-other-l-fail-1/

I married a unicorn.

One of the first things that I learned about my wife in our early sexual exploration was that she enjoyed sex with women, enjoyed group sex, and was more than willing to engage in these activities with me.

For the first few years of our relationship, FFM threesomes were often the subject of pornography that we’d watch together excitedly. Ultimately, that progressed to us setting up accounts on OKCupid and Tinder to begin searching for a potential third.

This process would start and stop a few times over the years, owing to real life getting in the way of sexual bucket list items.

The closest we’ve ever come to a successful threesome happened just last week, and while it ended in dramatic (and hilarious) fashion, it provided us with a week of intense sex, much of which had an audience, and a great story to tell.

Bored at work one day, I installed Tinder (after deleting all previous matches) on my phone and began swiping. I matched on someone who I had matched with previously, a friend of some friends, and we began exchanging messages.

[MF] I made out with and fingered a girl on the rail at a Metallica concert

(xposted from r/SluttyConfessions)

I was on the rail early, she made her way up there about half way through the opening set (Local H) – we got to chatting, and the bigger the crowd got, the closer she got to me until she was in front of me. I ended up with my arms around her waist and started kissing her neck. She reached behind herself and started rubbing my cock through my shorts so I took the opportunity to start feeling her pussy over her shorts. By this point I was harder than steel and she leaned her head back and we started making out using a lot of tongue.

As the opener wrapped up, we stopped and I put my arms around her and held her tight – she looked at me, smiled and said “I can’t even tell there are other people here right now” which I thought was extremely sexy.

[MF] If you’re going to blow up your life, might as well go all out! [cheating]

Where to begin? Sorry, this is long…scroll to TL:DR for the sexytimes.

Last fall my company hired someone to help out with clerical work, some light marketing and sales support. She was the niece of the owner. She had just wrapped up her undergrad and was looking to get experience. Her name is Leah, and she’s 22. I’m a 6′ tall, 34 year old white guy, with short brown hair, and nothing special to look at, but not ugly or anything.

I knew Leah would be a distraction the first day in the office. This girl was just incredibly hot, and had a natural flirt-iness to her and a fierce sarcastic streak that I loved. I’d guess she was at least 5’10”, really fit (turns out she’s big into yoga and running). She looks a lot like the lead actress in Split, but with jet black hair and olive skin.

Back in January, we got paired up to work on a large event together. It is a conference in Vegas, and we’d be taking a bunch of people from my company and customers out there. The result was that her and I spent a bunch of time together planning this, and naturally got to know each other pretty well, as tends to happen when you work 70+ hours a week together.

[MF] Sucking My Husband Off w/ Aid of a Popsicle

I had just gotten home from work and found my husband lazing about my couch and tinkering with my console. He was trying to figure out why I’d been spending less time in bed and found out I’d been playing way too much Geometry Wars and Battlefield 1 with my buddies from college. AND I guess he’d been feeling pretty needy. And I guess I kind of ignored the circumstance that I possibly might have missed the opportunity to get him to join us. He’d been busy with work and had to go early for the past three days so I didn’t want to bother him.

I stood next to my part of our game room’s couch and cleared my throat. I had been carrying a big red ice pop with me since I entered through our garage which is directly connected to our kitchen. “Are you trying to figure out how awesome I am?” I moved three paces towards him up until I was standing in between his legs, obscuring his view of the t.v., and the shitty show I’d been tuning out to on Netflix.

Confessions of a Retail Manager, Pt 2. [MF] [cheating]

Once we were back home things seemed to revert to normal. Anna and I would text back and forth throughout the work day, sharing stories about bad customers or corporate BS, with no mention of our encounter on the plane. At one point, I even hinted at broaching the subject by saying “I couldn’t sleep the whole plane ride home – was exhausted when we landed.”

Her reply: “I slept the whole way.”

That seemed to be the end of that.

About three weeks later I was working the opening shift, meaning I was alone in my store from about 9:00 AM until the mall opened at 10. At 9:02 I get a text from Anna.

“Opening?”
“Yep.”
“Alone?”
“Yep.”
“Coming to see if you have something a customer was asking for. BRT.”

I was a bit confused – It was common for us to transfer merchandise between stores, but why wouldn’t she just ask about the product in text? She arrived a few minutes later, dressed for a typical work day in a black button-down shirt and khakis, and I opened the gate for her.