Pt. 1 Summary (must read)
My girlfriend told me about a rape fantasy she had asks asked me to recreate it with her for her own peace of mind.
“I want us to take a shower,” she tells me looking at me from the mirror. I wonder what her intention is after experiencing such a violent and vulnerable scenario not more than 5 minutes ago. She, being already naked as I am, simply turns on the shower head and adjusts the hot water. She stands in the shower stall waiting for me.
I follow her in, watching her drench her body and hair, refreshing herself from all the bodily fluids. She stands aside and let’s me do the same. I turn around to look at her. I feel like I don’t recognize her. She doesn’t look like my girlfriend. She is a rape victim, a sexually exploited person, traumatized even. I walk up to her to hug her, and suddenly I break out in tears. I sob onto her shoulder, emotionally broken, feeling that this perception I seem to have of her was my fault. I consented to this act with her, it’s what she wanted, and whether she got what she wanted out of it, or if she gave into my exploitation of her at some point, I was unsure.