Author: WeAreNowhereItIsNow

The Time I [20 m] Met the Ghost of Blowjobs Future [? F] [MF]

This might be a late submission to the monthly contest, but I just checked this sub for the first time in a while, and thought this story was funny enough to submit.

My Junior year of college my housemates threw a Halloween Black Out party. The theme was “Glow in the Dark.” Most of the guests either forgot to follow it, or had some kind of accessory to their costume that glowed. I forgot to follow it. So they bullied -um… I mean pressured. No… wait, I mean, encouraged- me into wearing this stupid glow in the dark skeleton mask. Most of the night I kept it off of my actual face, basically wearing it as a weird hat.

At midnight they shut off all of the lights at the party, playing music as we danced in our glow in the dark pride. I could feel a girl dancing on me very intensely. I could also feel that the dancing partner in question was at least as drunk as I was. She wore all black, the only thing visible during the Black Out was her nail polish, which glowed a spectral yellow-green, and her similarly Day Glo lipstick. After we danced for a bit I felt her turn to me. She said in my ear, in a not-unfamiliar voice, “can we find somewhere more private.” She used my name, so clearly she knew who Mr. Skeleton Mask was, even if she had me at a disadvantage. Read more »

I (22 at the time) made my ex’s sorority sister (20 at the time) her “eskimo sister” [MF]

One night, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize. I almost ignored it. “Hey, it said. Are you still living in DC?” I had recently moved to DC after college for a job, but even so, I figured if it was a number I didn’t recognize, it was just a coincidence and they meant to text someone else. “This is Tara, by the way. From Kristen’s sorority. I’m in town for a few days. Was hoping for a tour guide.”

Kristen was my ex. She had a “little”named Tara. I didn’t really get to meet Tara or the rest of Kristen’s sisters that frequently. But I did remember her. She was cute, a lot shorter than Kristen and *very* curvy. There was apparently a joke in their chapter that they looked like the number 18 standing next to each other. Out of curiosity, I checked Tara’s facebook page. Sure enough, the last post was about being excited about being in town for a conference related to her major.

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“Hey, been a minute, Tara,” I texted back. “Yeah, I’m still living in the area.” We texted back and forth for a bit. I ended up asking her if Kristen would be upset if she and I hung out. Read more »

I (28 m) matched with my ex’s RA from college (32 f) [MF]

Claire looked vaguely familiar when I saw her bumble profile. She was quite tall (5’10, according to her profile), very slender, with curly red hair and captivating green eyes. I couldn’t remember where I saw the face from, so I swiped affirmative out of curiosity.

Almost immediately, she messaged me “Hey, long time no see.” I couldn’t remember where the last time I saw this person was, so I waited for her follow up. “Don’t you remember, I was the RA that responded to that noise complaint.”

That made it click for me. A few years prior, while I was a junior in college, I was seeing a girl who still lived in the dorms. One night close to finals Rachel, my now ex and I were getting intimate, and I guess we must have been too loud. There was a stern knock on the door. My ex dismounted me and grabbed a robe to wrap herself in as I awkwardly covered myself in a blanket. The RA was at the door, explaining that other people on the floor had called in a noise complaint against us. Both my girlfriend and the RA seemed kind of awkward about the situation, at at one point the RA made eye contact with me and blushed. For those of you who haven’t pieced it together, the RA was Claire. Read more »

The time I [28m] pretended to believe anti-vaxx nonsense to hook up with a cute hippie chick [24f] [MF]

I might go to hell for this one.

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So, in my defense, I was rebounding after a terrible relationship when this went down. A few months ago I matched on tinder with this woman, Summer. Physically she was really gorgeous -auburn hair in a cute pixie cut. Big, expressive light gray eyes. Kind of a mischievous smile. About a foot shorter than me (I’m 6’3) with wide hips and a lithe frame. And she wore glasses, which to me is a huge turn on. I was, of course, excited when I got the notification.

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Our conversation was pleasant enough. No major red flags. We talked about her classes, yoga, her recent switch from vegetarianism to veganism. Nothing out of the ordinary. She asked if I could add her on facebook, because she felt safer meeting up if she scoped me out a bit. I obliged. When I added her I saw she followed and reposted a lot of stuff from blogs with weird “nature” related titles, but I kind of shrugged it off. She asked if I wanted to come over to her place and watch a documentary some time. I oblidged. I’m a nerd, I fucking love documentaries. Read more »

Tricks and Treats Part Two (MMF Halloween Threesome)

Part One

Chrissy went to her purse to get some weed, bending over, her round ass looking amazing in her thong.

"God, I almost forgot how big you are," Shelby said, kissing my neck as she plaid with my not limp cock. "Girl, you're lucky you get to play with this whenever you like."

"I was so intimidated the first time I saw it," Chrissy said, passing me the the joint. "Now I can't get enough. Isn't that right, dear," she stroked my hair, but kissed Shelby, a long, passionate kiss. She pushed her back onto the bed and straddled her, groping Shelby's impressive breasts as she did.

And. I. Got. So. Hard.

Chrissy was kissing down the other girl's stomach when I stood, ripped down Chrissy's tong, and pulled her hips back.

"That's it, papi, take what's yours." She was pulling down Shelby's underwear. "I'm going to take what's hers."

I entered her slowly, loving the muted groans as she began to eat Shelby.Shelby's eyes rolled back and mouth opened as if she wished to say something but couldn't find the words. Read more »

Tricks and Treats (MFF) (Part One of Two)

"I want to dress as Little Red and her Wolf," Chrisanna had told me earlier that week. "People don't understand.. the story is inherently sexual. I want you to devour me, papi."

Once I saw her in the costume, I was damn glad I agreed to it. Under her hood she wore a pair of black yoga pants that hugged her hips and accentuated her round bottom. Her top was low cut, her push up bra ensured that her small, firm breasts where front and center. So worth going to the party with fake fur on my face.

This was several months after the story i told before about Shelby and Chrisanna both sleeping with me on the same night. Shelby and I had drifted apart and Chrissy and I where all but going steady. So I was a bit surprised when I saw the thick blonde in her I Dream of Genie outfit, all curves and cleavage and billowing scarves. I was a bit more surprised when Chrissy greeted her with a joyful "Hey girl," as if the two had much in common besides a healthy love for rough sex. Read more »

Both of [m]y [F]riends with Benefits Under One Roof

Chrisanna was a coworker at the Tutoring Center. A short, deeply tanned girl with long black hair, a vegetarian partial to sun dresses. She was the very definition of "pear shaped," she used to joke that the good Lord hadn't given her much in the way of breasts but had made up for it by giving her way more ass than any one girl should handle. She was also a guitarist, so about twice a week during the summer I would come over to play with her, only to end up… well… playing with her.

The first time we had sex, she got all apologetic after ,explaining that she didn't want a relationship. I explained that I wasn't after one either, but did enjoy her company. "That doesn't mean we should stop fucking…" she laughed. "You're really good at it."

So our story opens with me deep inside Chrisanna, her on top of me riding, her bed shaking. She screamed as I worked in her -Chrisanna is, to this day, one of the loudest lays I've ever had. She slapped on the wall as she came. Soon after I finished as well, rolling out of bed and pulling my pants back on. "I'm going to have a smoke, I said. Laying face down on the bed, all she could do was give a thumbs up. Read more »

Bad RA. (M and F)

When I was 19 years old, I was an RA for a program that helps high school seniors and juniors from low income backgrounds prepare for college.

One of my favorite student's name was Amalia. A grad from a particularly bad school district, Amalia was smart and funny, a natural leader. She was way further read than I was when I was in high school., but one of those overachievers who seemed unfazed by how much more put together they are than their peers. She was also cute as hell. Only about 5 feet tall with long, black hair she usually kept in a ponytail, big doe eyes, and the biggest, brightest smile I’d ever seen.

It was no secret to any of the RAs or to most of the students that she had a crush on me. I was the only one she ever asked for help on homework, even though she was way better at math then I am. When she was accepted to the most prestigious school in the state, she told me first. And when she broke up with her boyfriend, she cried on my shoulder. And she was constantly flirting with me, waiting for me to be on duty at the desk, changing into short shorts and tight tops when she knew I was around. Read more »

Cock blocked by a cop, followed by [m]y [f]irst time receiving a great blow job and some other fun stuff

When I was a junior in high school I was seeing this girl named Miranda. Miranda was a "scene kid," each week her hair was a different color, she had three piercings in on ear, and she was always either wearing the t-shirt for some band or some obscure 90s cartoon character. She had gorgeous dark blue eyes which usually popped thanks to the bizarre colors of her hair, stood about 5'7 with long legs and wide hips. She was also just always fun to be around, had a fantastic sense of humor and a way of making others around her feel comfortable.

We were making out in my car when she groped me over the fabric of my jeans. "Someone's eager," she laughed, leaning in to whisper in my ear "want some head, Gulp?" Gulp, short for "Big Gulp," was her nickname for me, because I worked part time at the 7/11 nearby. Among other reasons, I guess. I apologetically explained that I wasn't the world's biggest fan of blowjobs, I'd actually never come from one. Read more »

After the Pool Party [M+F]

This is a follow up to a post I made yesterday. Someone requested more detail, but that story is kind of a blur in my mind. So I decided to share what happened the next day.

The next day was a Sunday and I slept in, a bit hungover from the previous day's festivities. I woke up to a text from Lisa. "Hey white boy," it read, "Fun times last night. Mind if I come over after church." I made plans with her and went to shower and shave. My mother was working an afternoon shift and my siblings were at various friends houses so I had the place to myself.

She knocked on the door around 2, wearing a floral sundress that revealed quite a bit of cleavage.

"That's what you wear to church?" I laughed, unable to help but stare.

"Look, when you're built like me, anything looks revealing," She said, kind of apologetically. Once we were inside she blurted out, "you don't think I'm a slut because of what happened yesterday?" Read more »