Abuse with a question mark in tags because I don’t consider it abuse and it’s from my POV but my limits are fucked up so maybe some people might find it uncomfortable even though I don’t. Anyway, u have been warned.
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You’re choking me to the edge of blacking out, my throat is still sore from the feral pounding you gave it like 2 days ago, you’ve hit me so many times in the last 20 minutes that I can taste blood, you’re just tearing up my insides, and I’m pretty sure i have at least 4 cigarette burns on my body. Yet somehow all want to do is look up into your eyes, smile, and caress your face. All I want to do is let you know, it’s ok, you can let all that energy out, you don’t have to hold back with me, the violent passion in your heart and between your thighs is unique and beautiful, how you are doesn’t make you broken or evil.
What you do to my head is so crazy – my heart is pumping pure adrenaline, my body is in fight or flight mode, but my will just can’t stand up to the onslaught of you. I can’t even think straight enough to tell you to stop, I’m so drunk on your power. What was it like to have my own needs in bed? I can barely even think of myself as an individual separate from you anymore – your pleasure is mine, your needs are mine, your happiness and joy are mine, your pain is mine to take from you. I haven’t climaxed in months now. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to feel as if I need it. There was never any question if you’d reciprocate – that’s not how this works. And that’s fine, it’s totally natural between people like us, we both have our place and you’ve put me in mine. If I had any needed anything other than to be touched by that amazing passion inside you, I’d be with someone else.
You raise your hand toward my face and I instinctively flinch and brace to see stars again, secretly hoping it’ll momentarily take my mind off the remodeling currently happening to my insides. Instead I feel you turn my face toward yours before you push your tongue into my mouth. I feel you aggressively bury your full rock hard length inside me, followed by that beautiful rhythmic throbbing as you fill me up with your warmth.
I know you don’t get any other outlet for this violence inside you, and I see how much good it does for you to be free and wild for even just a while. I see the effect it has on you to have someone there for you who will always always comply and never ever ask for anything in return. I see how bad you need to have that kind of power over someone, and I see how crazy it makes you when you don’t. I see all of it, but I don’t understand it, much less why it feels so intensely rewarding to be the one to give it all to you. But I don’t need to understand it, that’s not what I was made for. When I see how much effort it takes you to be civil, to tone down that wild feral energy inside you for polite society, then I see how much more natural and free you are when we’re alone and after you’ve finished with me…well, the math is easy: it’s 30 minutes of suffering for me, but it keeps that restlessness in you satisfied for hours when nothing else does.
But as you pull out of me…emptiness. It doesn’t make sense, not 30 seconds ago all I wanted was for you to finish, to take your hand from my next so I could breathe again. Now I’m reminded that you haven’t just opened up this space in my body that’s empty without you filling it – you’ve done the same thing to my mind. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back from this; every time you fuck me, every little subtle show of dominance you display outside the bedroom, it’s like you’re hollowing me out somehow, and filling the gaps with the unbelievable amount of LIFE in you. Without you, I’m half alive, empty of purpose. You’ve made me an extension of yourself, broken my will, replaced it with your own, claimed me, and domesticated me. That’s why I can no longer conceive of having needs of my own. I never thought I’d capitulate this completely someone, but as I slip into one of your massive shirts (“like a flag on conquered territory,” as you’re fond of saying) and stagger to the bathroom to clean up and fix my ruined makeup for the second time before noon, I feel like there’s no other place in the world I could be better suited for. I’m needed here, and I can do so much good for you. Why would I want anything else?
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/10u5l1y/you_nsfw_m30s18_ds_control_ownership
I love this.