Author: M0saica

You. [NSFW] [M30s/?18] [D/s] [Control] [Ownership] [Manipulation/Abuse?]

Abuse with a question mark in tags because I don’t consider it abuse and it’s from my POV but my limits are fucked up so maybe some people might find it uncomfortable even though I don’t. Anyway, u have been warned.

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You’re choking me to the edge of blacking out, my throat is still sore from the feral pounding you gave it like 2 days ago, you’ve hit me so many times in the last 20 minutes that I can taste blood, you’re just tearing up my insides, and I’m pretty sure i have at least 4 cigarette burns on my body. Yet somehow all want to do is look up into your eyes, smile, and caress your face. All I want to do is let you know, it’s ok, you can let all that energy out, you don’t have to hold back with me, the violent passion in your heart and between your thighs is unique and beautiful, how you are doesn’t make you broken or evil. Read more »

Testament of His first disciple – “A Mecca for the broken and dispossessed” [Abuse][Assault][Psychological Manipulation]

Well, there seem to be people out there as warped as I am (or at least in the same direction) who apparently enjoyed the first one of these, so I dug up another one. This is one of the first entries in the journal my psychotherapist told me to keep when I was having trouble talking to him about this stuff face-to-face. Naturally, edits have been made because I wasn’t a great writer when I was younger. I’ll do this in two parts because it’s pretty fucking long.

Tales of abuse lie within – if this isn’t your thing, please move along.

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17/06/2014 Read more »

The journal my psych told me to keep reads like twisted erotica

Tales of abuse lie within. If this isn’t your thing, please move along.

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11/08/2014

How do I *feel* toward him? I guess I’ll hand it to you, doc, you apparently showed up to the lesson on “using stupid questions to provoke a waterfall of twisted insanity out of people” at shrink school.

I mean, he pretty much crafted my identity for me. Without him, I probably would have done myself in before I hit teenagehood. Aside from the whole rape thing, he was the nicest person I’d ever met, and I only even recognize that “the whole rape thing” throws his kindness into question because everyone tells me so.

I know how utterly ridiculous that must sound, but just, the way he talked to me, the things he said…back then, I didn’t have any basis for comparison. I just thought that’s what it look and sounded (and felt) like when someone was nice to you. After all that happened at home, it felt so good to be wanted and loved, to have someone smile and get excited to see you, someone who actually **wanted** you around. When you come to believe that all you can do is make people hate you, you’ll run to the opportunity to make someone smile like a lemming to a cliff’s edge. Read more »