[M][MF][MFM] I (36M) jerk off constantly to the details of my wife (38F) cheating on me. Long read.

I’m going to preface this entire post with acknowledging that a lot of how I’ve dealt and processed it not necessarily is not the “healthiest”.

My wife and I met through a mutual friend. We began our relationship long distance, as she was from my area back home and I was stationed on the east coast. After 4 months of texting and calling she drove out for a long weekend. 3 months later I fly home and find out she fucked her married neighbor in her driveway one night after she got off work. She finished him off by opening the door, crawling out real fast, and sucking him off before pulling up her scrub bottoms (nurse) and going inside. It pissed me off but we stayed together.

A few months later she flew back out to do job interviews before moving across country. She left her phone in the car during her second interview I drove her to and I went through it, to find her sexting and exchanging masturbation pics with her ex-husband… texts that were sent the night before her flight. Again, infuriated but I fucked out my aggression and we moved on.

After she moved out here we were together for a year before I proposed. We got married 6 months later. Then a month after the marriage, I deployed to Afghanistan. The deployment was fine, no issues. When I returned we moved into a house and made friends with the neighbors. A few months after I returned, I got sent to another state for training for two weeks.

First night there she tells me the neighbors have a fire pit and are drinking and playing cornhole and she’s going over. That night she drunkenly fucked Guy1. Over the next couple of weeks she fucked Guy1 in almost every room of our house. Bent over the bed and came on her ass. Bent over in the kitchen at noon and sucked him off. Fucked on the living room floor and came on her stomach and tits. Drunkenly fucked on the stairs and blasted her face.

I came home and found out when Guy2 and Guy3 told me. Guy1 admitted it to them. Guy2 and Guy3 were my friends (we’ll circle back to that) and all three were coworkers of mine. I spent the next 48 hours yelling and screaming and getting every single detail and position of what they did (see above paragraph). I decided to try and stick it out for the kid.

Guy2 hung around a lot after, got me into motorcycles, and was secretly coming over to fingerfuck my wife while I was on night shift. They exchanged handjobs a lot, and one night at home while we argued she got pissed, left, and sucked him off in a back mall parking lot at 2am. Didn’t find out about Guy2 until I found evidence of Guy3.

We helped Guy3 and his wife move. This was all while Guy2 was happening, and Guy2 lived with Guy3 to save money. Oh me day at work she went out to their house so Guy3 could teach her to drive stick shift. He did, by getting jacked off on his couch. She swallowed when he came. Icing on the cake was next week, she went out, pulled her tits out, sat between Guy2 and Guy3 on the couch and jerked them off together, swallowing both.

Again, as you can tell, I’ve asked for and received all the details. “Open, honest communication” was a staple in the therapy that followed for years. We’ve been married 13 years now, together for 15. As far as I know, Guy3 was the end of the cheating. She’s manic depressive and type2 bipolar. Those are absolute not excuses for her behavior, but the incorrect cocktail of meds she was on is to an extent. That whole summer with Guys 1/2/3 her manic episodes were bad, coupled with abuse from her ex husband made it all a bad mix.

So initially, all this cheating pissed me off. I felt betrayed and broken. Asking for all the details was emotional cutting at the time and I know that. It didn’t make me feel better, it only hurt worse, but I kept asking. Walking down the stairs every day for 3 years looking at the exact spot she drunkenly got a massive facial while I was 2000 miles away was rough.

Lots of therapy healed our relationship and we’re good now. Really. But all the details sparked the hotpast kink for me. I started praying for all the details of past conquests. Threesome, foursome, jerking two dudes at once is apparently a go to party trick from her younger days. I’ve even had her write some out in emails to jerk off to later.

I’m by no means interested in hotwifing or cuckolding or trying a mfm threesome. I’d be furious if she cheated again. It would probably end the marriage. And our sex life is great, 3-4 times a week. But I do think about the cheating, and all the details.

I came twice typing this whole thing out.

EDIT: Apologies if this isn’t the typical “19 year old virgin has an orgy with seven loads blown in her” kind of material. This is the first time I’ve ever talked to anyone about any of this stuff.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/sj20n4/mmfmfm_i_36m_jerk_off_constantly_to_the_details