The time I [M] recognized my [f]riend’s tits on Reddit

Even when reflecting on this story it seems kinda hilarious and outrageous. It’s really a NSFW “Never Tell Me the Odds”. This is an older story from a few years ago.

I came home from the bar one day and was extremely horny. After a night of striking out with women, I decided to test my fate on Bumble. Just to my luck, I swiped right and matched with Lexi (fake name). Lexi was a beautiful tall redhead. She had a few pictures at random bars, and another more risqué photo of her flashing the wilderness on a mountaintop. Her tits looked huge, like DD huge, and had a nice round ass.

She was also awake because her first line to me was quick: “What are you doing up so late?”

I tried to show some restraint and came up with: “I was looking for you at the bar but found you here instead”

Lexi: “I guess we must’ve missed each other, I wouldn’t have let you gone home alone”

I knew I was in after this and started to flirt and talk dirty with her. Talking about grinding with her at the bar, her telling me what she was wearing that night, and so on. Things really picked up when I said: “I would’ve tried to get you to leave with me quickly so I can admire that body of yours even more”

That’s when she sent me a picture of her DD tits. God they were amazing. They were perky, supple, and had these proportionally sized hard nipples to pair.

We exchanged more pictures and started talking dirty before we inevitably fell asleep. We spent the next week failing to plan a date before losing touch, a real bummer considering.

Fast forward about 5 months…I had just begun using Reddit to satisfy my porn addiction when I discovered a picture that looked oddly familiar. The girl was showing off her amazing looking tits while riding a dildo. I think it was in the lipsthatgrip subreddit…but for some reason my eyes were transfixed on her tits bouncing up and down.

Shit. I realized that these DD’s were super familiar to me. They couldn’t be….how? Then it dawned on me: “these are Lexi’s!”

To make things even stranger, about 2 weeks or so later, I matched with Lexi AGAIN on Bumble. Literally never tell me the odds, right? I couldn’t blow this opportunity. The sex gods were smiling down upon us. She messaged me again saying “What are the odds we match again?”

To which I reply: “well, you think that, but I think I have something even crazier than us matching again”

She was intrigued, and I did my best to blurt out (without sounding creepy) that I saw her tits on Reddit and asked are you (username redacted)?

“Hahahahahahhaha wtf….yes” was her reply. And from then on, I knew we always had a conversation starter.

Lexi and I planned to meet a few days later at her place. Boy was I not disappointed. We started making out instantly, but after a few minutes stopped and she said “ok so really, how did you recognize me on Reddit?”

“I honestly don’t know, dumb luck, and I figured I HAD to ask you. I mean, how could I not recognize these amazing tits?” I replied

We continued to make out on her couch, pulling off our shirts and stripping naked. Her hands were exploring my chest while I was removing her bra. I started to massage her breasts and play with her nipples, moving my kisses to her neck. She let out a soft moan and giggled nervously. Her hands moved lower on my body, stroking the outline of my rock hard cock through my boxers.

She said she couldn’t wait to see my cock in person, and started to remove my boxers when it flopped out towards her. I’m above average, about 7.5” long and decently thick. Her right hand began stroking it with the other cupping my balls. I let out a moan, and that was her cue to move her head down and start sucking on it. She spit on my cock and made it extra wet while her hands still cupped my balls and shaft. Her head game was strong, and I was starting to get even harder.

The view was amazing, seeing her face bob down on my cock and her ass in a tight lacey black thong bent over. Her hand slipped from my balls to her pussy where she began to touch herself. It was so hot seeing her get off on blowing me. She moaned with a mouthful of my cock, and i could tell she was starting to get really turned on. I lifted her up and removed her panties, running my fingers on her clit. Holy shit was she soaking wet.

I pushed her on her back and began to return the favor, licking her clit and juices while she held her tits. She was enjoying my tongue on her pussy, where i was alternating between picking up speed and teasing her. I knew that she was definitely building up a big orgasm, so I stuck two fingers inside her tight pussy while my tongue worked her clit. This sent her over the edge, and she began to pinch her nipples and moan even louder.

God she was soaking wet. I removed my tongue from her clit and said so. She gave me this look, and I wasn’t sure what she was trying to communicate, but as my fingers moved faster and faster inside her, she started to rub her clit before letting out a loud series of moans and squirting all over me. I had been with a squirter before, but damn Lexi was like a fountain. She soaked my chest and fingers and started convulsing. “Fuck me with that hard cock, stick it inside me” said Lexi. I didn’t have any time to think, just act.

I shoved my cock inside her and fucked her raw. My cock swelled and got super hard seeing her squirt. Man I was in heaven. I pounded her until she came again all over my cock. She loved it when I grabbed her tits and choked her as she was cumming.

Now she wanted to make me cum. I really wanted to fuck her from behind, grabbing her tits and pulling her closer towards me while my cock pounded her deeply. I was getting so close, and she began to rub her pussy again. She became even tighter…”I want you to cum all over my ass”. That sent me into heaven, I pumped a few more times and pulled out my cock to explode all over her ass. I came a ton, and she collapsed onto her bed in a state of euphoria.

We sat there both thinking: “Thank you, Reddit”.

Epilogue: we hooked up a ton over the years, then she moved cities and it became more difficult to continue. Since then, she has deleted her Reddit and out of respect for her privacy, I won’t share any personal details about her. Lexi and I still keep in touch, but we still can’t get over the fact that I recognized her on Reddit.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/nqk7u7/the_time_i_m_recognized_my_friends_tits_on_reddit

8 comments on “The time I [M] recognized my [f]riend’s tits on Reddit

  1. I’ve totally had this happen to me but it was an ex boyfriend I had recognized. I had found some dominatrix video on pornhub where this really fat guy was being humiliated by this leather clad woman. His face was covered with an eye mask but my ex boyfriend also didn’t have the best teeth in the world. They were discolored. So that was one give away. He also tend to move his tongue when stroking himself, that was give away number 2. Then I saw the size of his penis, which was the smallest out of all the men I’ve ever dated. Give away number 3.

    What was surprising yet not so surprising was that there was a 3rd person in the video, another male. My ex boyfriend ends up giving him a blow job. Although my ex was not gay, I do remember when we were dating that he sometimes would say things about being curious with gay sex. From that video, I guess he fulfilled that wish. I wanted to message him and ask him about it but we didn’t have the best breakup so I thought against it. It’s neat when you find someone you know. Lol.

  2. Wow that was hot! One of the better written stories I’ve seen on here

  3. Is she still on Reddit? Would you mind sharing username? No pressure

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