Even when reflecting on this story it seems kinda hilarious and outrageous. It’s really a NSFW “Never Tell Me the Odds”. This is an older story from a few years ago.
I came home from the bar one day and was extremely horny. After a night of striking out with women, I decided to test my fate on Bumble. Just to my luck, I swiped right and matched with Lexi (fake name). Lexi was a beautiful tall redhead. She had a few pictures at random bars, and another more risqué photo of her flashing the wilderness on a mountaintop. Her tits looked huge, like DD huge, and had a nice round ass.
She was also awake because her first line to me was quick: “What are you doing up so late?”
I tried to show some restraint and came up with: “I was looking for you at the bar but found you here instead”
Lexi: “I guess we must’ve missed each other, I wouldn’t have let you gone home alone”