Funnest first date in a while: A quick and dirty story [MF]

After about three years of dating exclusively through the internet (apps and Reddit), I was a little skeptical when my friend offered to set me up with a friend of his. The fact that he’d dated a while back was also a little funny to me, but he genuinely believed we’d make a better match than he ever did and encouraged me to give it a shot.

She and I traded texts for a few days, until finally agreeing to meet at a New Orleans-themed bar in downtown. I wasn’t surprised to find it mostly empty on a Sunday evening, save for a few groups of hardcore Sunday Fundayers raging against the dying of the weekend. When Jess (we’ll call her) finally arrived, I was really impressed; my buddy had said she was cute, but I’d expected it to be a euphemism for “okay.” But cute was the perfect description — she was petite (at about 5’3″), with short hair and an adorable smile.

After a few rounds of small talk, trading stories about our crazy families, it was clear that we were hitting it off. In fact, when conversation had shifted to sex, I’d jokingly suggested we show each other the nudes we keep on our phones to recycle. To my surprise, she actually kept a few on her phone for that specific purpose (“It’s hard to take a good one,” she’d said with a grin. “Why struggle to take more?”). I had to show mine first, but she didn’t leave me hanging, making good on her side of the deal soon after. So when we both went to use the restrooms at the same time, I decided to roll the dice.

I playfully followed her into the ladies room, to her surprise. We exchanged flirty banter, but when I tried to kiss her, she shut me down. I didn’t want to press the issue, partly out of embarrassment but also because when a girl says no, you take the hint. So I’ll admit it was a little awkward when we went back to the table. She made it clear that she was attracted to me — hence the nude swap — but she wasn’t going to be like other girls I may have met on tinder or Random Acts of Muff Dive.

Fair enough, I told her. We’re having a good time; let’s just keep it going. A few rounds later I’d ingratiated myself more and things were back on track. Which is exactly when things got weird. The next time we went to the bathroom, I went straight to the men’s room. She followed me in and locked the door. We made out for a while and she tried to say that was it, that we’d get caught, but I called her a chicken and kissed her harder. I pressed my hand against her flat stomach and felt the smoothness of her skin as I lowered my hand down her jeans. Her lips were long and wet. We kept going. I unzipped her jeans and slid two fingers inside her, fucking her g-spot. Lifted up her shirt and sucked her nipples. She moaned. I said we were going to fuck, fully expecting her to say no. What I wasn’t expecting was her to call my bluff. Instead hesitating, she backpedalled toward the sink. I lifted her onto it, pulled off one of her wedges and and pant leg. At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to get hard, what with the drinking and the nerves. But she told me to fuck her and it turned me on so much it wasn’t an issue. After a couple minutes I figured we were pressing our luck. Fortunately i’d already paid the tab. I walked out first. Two minutes later she exited. 20 minutes later we were back at her place, where I pushed her onto her bed and, well, that’s a whole different story…

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6ny9tc/funnest_first_date_in_a_while_a_quick_and_dirty

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