(NSFW) Eating out [m]y g[f] goes horrifyingly hilarious (long)

So this is more of a funny story then anything else but worth telling. If you're good friends with me you've heard the story in real life at least once.

In high school I dated this girl named May. May was tall, just a few inches below my then 6'0" lanky dork build. Small breasts, skinny, long blonde hair that had a little curl to it. Great smile. Now, May's parents were unique. As soon as we started dating (sophomore year, we were 16), her mom offered the pill. Her mom encouraged May's sex life in a healthy way and we had loads of sex for the two years we dated. About a year into our relationship, we were cuddling and watching a movie in her bed when her mom poked her head in the door.

"May, we're going to a movie. Be back in a couple hours. You and John have the house to yourselves," she said. As always I was taken aback by her nonchalant attitude towards me banging her daughter (my parents were much stricter). A few minutes later we heard the front door close and their car pull out of the driveway.

"You know what this means?" May had a wicked smile as she spoke. I shook my head.

"You get to fuck me and I get to scream as loud as I can."

I didn't need any more encouragement. Vocal girls turn me on. I like to hear how I'm doing, and my oral skills are a personal point of pride (If this is well received I've got some more stories about them) so needless to say I was excited to make May scream. Despite her parents knowledge of our sexual activities we kept it quiet out of respect and awkwardness when they were home.

After she spoke, I quickly moved to pin May down on the bed. I stripped her sweatpants and panties off and started eating her out with no foreplay. Just dove straight into her. She instantly started to moan. It was quiet at first but then as she remembered she could be loud she started screaming more and more. Part of it was for show, I'm sure, but her juices covering my face told me she was enjoying it a hell of a lot.

Pretty soon, she was begging me to fuck her and so I grabbed her legs, pushed them down behind her head and fucked her missionary style. She was screaming like a porn star at this point and it was really turning me on so I knew I wasn't going to last long. I told her so and she told me to cum on her stomach and then eat her out again. I obliged, spilling thick white cum on her stomach and tits with a groan, then immediately went down on her again with ferocity. I licked deep inside her, something she always loved, then around her clit in fast motions, then gave long strokes with a wide tongue. She was still screaming and pulling my hair, trying to drive my head deeper inside of her. At last she started to cum and was bucking violently.

And here's where the sexy part ends and the funny part begins. As she was bucking, I tasted blood. Immediately I stopped. you gotta be fucking kidding, I thought, she just got her period while you were eating her out! I had never been more horrified. I sat up.

"What's wro- oh holy shit, baby, your nose!" May came down from her high so quickly it's a wonder she didn't go into shock. "I think I broke your nose!"

Of course it wasn't her time on the month. She'd bucked up into my nose and it had started bleeding. Pretty bad. Blood was now streaming out of my nose, all down my face and starting to stain the sheets. Blood covered my torso in thin lines. I looked horrifying. I stood up quickly and looked around. We normally kept tissues nearby to clean up cum but we'd used the last of it the day before and not replaced it.

"Go downstairs!" May didn't like blood and was starting to scream a little, and not in the sexy way. "Get some paper towels!"

Naked, covered in my own blood and some semen, I ran downstairs. The stairs opened right into the kitchen and I ran in and grabbed the roll of paper towels. I ripped a few off, put one to my nose and used another to start cleaning up my chest and abs.

And then I heard the soft sounds of the television.

I looked over, wondering why it was on. Now, their kitchen had a half wall that led to the living room with a sort of bar/counter thing so the living room and kitchen were basically the same room. And as I looked over, I saw May's father.

He was staring at me, his eyes wide. For whatever reason he hadn't gone to the movie with his wife. And now, a sixteen year old boy was in his kitchen, naked and covered in blood and cum. A sixteen year old boy he'd just listened to having sex. He'd just heard me plow his daughter. I froze. I didn't know what to say. I grabbed the paper towels – the whole roll – and sprinted back upstairs, probably dripping blood behind me.

I slammed May's bedroom door shut, panting heavily. "I think," I said to her, "I just experienced the worst moment of my entire life."

EDIT: some formatting

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/31r9e3/nsfw_eating_out_my_gf_goes_horrifyingly_hilarious