**Intro**
The early-2010s were hell on me, but it was worth it, because it led to this! This story takes place about five years ago. This is a long story, so settle in!
I had gotten married to my first wife, Maddie, right after we graduated college. She was the second woman I had dated in college, [Laura](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/kpzaio/the_cute_girl_in_history_class_mf_long/) being the first. Frankly, I should have seen the signs that it was going to be hell with Maddie. To make a long story short, we ended up getting married. By the end of the honeymoon, it was clear that I had made a mistake. For the next five years, I was in a loveless, and nearly sexless marriage with an unpleasable narcissist.