We were only a few beers into the evening. Seated around the bonfire in my best friends backyard we were having a great time. As usual Ellen, my buddies wife, was laying into me about how I was still single and hadn’t had a serious relationship in a… long time.
Truth be told I hadn’t had any sort of relationship with anyone at all. At least not in person anyway. I mean there were a few women from reddit that I had fooled around with from time to time. A little role playing here, some sexting and video sharing there. But I hadn’t actually had the feeling of flesh on flesh for…. Well, let’s just say I was an unwilling born again virgin.
“Ah leave him along babe, he’s got his geeky computer girls and his girl Palmela. Say Matt, how is that stock in hand lotion doing for ya” Said Scott my “best bud”.
“Yeah yeah yeah” I say tossing an empty beer can at him. “You can be my woman and fetch me another beer”.