This is a work of fiction.
My marriage wasn’t going well. We loved each other and I knew we were meant to be together but after 3 kids in 7 years we were more like roommates than lovers. She focused all her energies on the kids. She quit her job and stayed at home. She drove them to and from school everyday. Went to bake sales and PTA meetings. Everything was “off of Pintrest” or “this influencer on Instagram painted this in her son’s room.”
I was grateful. I really was. She dedicated her life to the family and I respected her hard work. But I was lonely. I caught myself flirting with a girl at work once and I felt very bad. On my way home that day I bought her flowers and chocolate. She took the flowers and told me that she saw this cute centerpiece with roses that she wanted to copy. We didn’t have sex. I was jerking off a lot back then. We never had sex and I needed an outlet. Almost every night in the bathroom. I would lock the door and watch porn on my phone and jerk off. I was scared I would get caught (She had never been on board with porn in the past. It morally repulsed her). I was scared that she would get suspicious of my time in the bathroom every night. She didn’t. When I walked out she would be watching a vlog about interior decorating or reading a book about “internal growth”.