collection of stories you shouldn't read at work
Please don’t judge me because of the silliness of the event :)
My friend bought a 4$ google vr carboard. He recommended that for me and I also bought one. When I went to my friends house, we tried to watch vr porn. It felt really good and we started to rub pillows to each other’s dicks. We had a limited time and we couldn’t continue.
WARNINGS: Includes homophobic/transphobic language. This is Part 1 of 4.
Two days ago, Natalie had woken up with a pounding headache and chills, fully in the grip of the flu. The timing could hardly have been worse.
Granted, she had plenty of PTO left at work, no upcoming appointments she couldn’t reschedule, and her son and his wife had finally decided to sleep train the baby—yes, *they* had been nothing but gracious about the news—had even sent her a bouquet of flowers, thank-you note attached. They sat wilting in a vase in the hallway.
In other news, Tom had been sent to the store that afternoon to restock on Nyquil and honey lozenges, and come back with two bottles of wine. He plunked them down on the coffee table–littered with the corpses of several dozen Kleenex–and spoke first, with an air of forced casualness. “Want a glass?”
Natalie did not, in fact, want a glass. Her head was pounding so hard, it felt like her skull was forcing its way out of her skin. She’d spent the last 48 hours wrapped in several blankets on the family room couch, drifting in and out of consciousness while marathoning the Great British Baking Show. *Must it* really *be now?* she asked the universe, but pasted a smile on her face anyway. “Sure, dear. Just a splash.”
Nessa licked her lips as she heard Ian’s voice…deep and husky say “Hey Nessa.”
“You…ah…you usually don’t call during work,” she stammered, feeling like she was sitting on pins and needles. How did this happen? She was just…pleasuring herself to thoughts of him…and he called?!?!
This was definitely a Speak of the Devil moment.
Ian laughed, and the sound sent thrills up Nessa’s spine, “No, I don’t. But I have a little problem.”
Nessa swallowed hard, “I’m sorry….but…ah…I’m probably not much help with a body shop problem.”
Ian smirked, continuing to slowly stroke himself to her voice. He loved when she sounded flustered, “No, you probably aren’t. But this problem is your fault,” he squeezed near the tip of his cock and groaned, “Yeah…definitely your fault.”
Nessa froze at his groan, feeling her stomach tighten in anticipation, “Ian…are you…doing…you know…at WORK?!” her voice came out as an undignified squeak.
Ian chuckled, “It’s called masturbation Nessa. Or jacking off. And yes, I’m doing it at work. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Hello kinky fellows.
I am Hana, a half japanese half german girl that lives in germany and the other day I got a way deeper and wider look into anal masturbation.
Anal masturbation is not entirely new to me. I own a few sex toys and I also tried them out on my backdoor but so far only rather small ones and they didn’t go all that deep. I could only fit in a few balls of my glassdildo inside before it seemed to hit a wall and none of my toys are really suited for stretching it out a lot. That was until yesterday, when I was alone at my parents house for a while. I have a whole floor to myself there with a really nice bathtub – speaking massagejets and stupid colorful lights. Anyway, as my mom told me that they had an appointment that day I added a few toys to my luggage and got on my way.
This is a story from a few years back when my now wife showed me a little of her wild side when we had just started dating. The details are a little fuzzy, but we’ll try to fill them in the best we can.
A friend from college called me up and invited me to a party to celebrate his GF graduating from college. I double checked with AJ if it was cool if I bought Jackie along as we already had dinner plans for the evening. He was cool with it and I let him know we’d be there a little later. This was going to be mostly friends from college and their SOs.
Maggie. Maggie had always been the odd kid, the loner, the one who stood out in the crowd. And yet she yearned nothing more than a life of peace. Of meditation. Of contemplation and prayer.
For, you see, Maggie felt the calling. The vocation. She was called by God to a higher purpose. She was to become a nun.
She jumped with glee every Sunday at the thought of going to Mass. She’d sit in the front row, eagerly listening to every word of the service. She’d be first in line for the eucharist. As soon as she was allowed online, instead of heading for porn, she headed for monastery websites. How do I become a nun? she’d type into Google, hoping to find an answer, hoping to find someone who’d listen to her call. And, finally, she found what she had been looking for. As soon as she turned 18, the Poor Clares invited her to visit the facility. Off she went, to Great Falls Montana, where she’d finally achieve her dream: the nunnery.
*Obviously the above is purely fictional and should not be construed as a real story. Also, thanks to A. for being the inspiration for this one*
Dear Reddit, I must turn to you at this difficult junction of my life, because nobody in my life would understand my conundrum. I have nowhere else to turn, and I can only hope you’ll be able to advise me on the right thing to do. I am lost, conflicted, and above all desperately horny.
But let’s start from the beginning.
I grew up in a nice house in rural Colorado, not too far from Fort Collins, but far enough that you could smell the cows alright. No, my family was not destitute, my parents were not abusive. I had all the comforts a child of my situation could hope for. Me and my sister grew up loved, probably even a bit too sheltered, and cherished. When the time came for us to go out in the world and make a name for ourselves, she picked a college education in Portland, and I picked the Air Force.
So there we are. Michael and I are in the bathroom. Together. Completely naked – as we have been for literally hours and hours now – but it’s only at that point, with all my makeup wiped away that I’m actually *feeling* naked.
He’s had his hands on my face for the last while when he was helping get the makeup off and now that it is all gone he still has one hand gently holding me on the side of my neck and along my jaw. It feels nice having his hand there.And then he says nice things about how I look. And I’d love to say that I had a clever reply but what came out of my mouth was “well…okay then.” (eeech, oh well)
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A girl I went to high school with, but haven’t seen in fifteen years, texted me a selfie the other night at 430am. When I saw it in the morning, I was confused. Surely, this had to be a mistake. It wasn’t a nude selfie or anything lewd. Just a random selfie.
I ruffled my brow and texted her back, saying I was always happy to see her pretty face, but confused nonetheless.
She explained that she’d met a guy with the same name as me and texted the photo to me by mistake. She was so embarrassed, which made me even more confused.
“Why are you so embarrassed?” I asked. “It wasn’t anything lewd.”
“Yeah, THIS time. Jesus. I send a ton of nakey photos. Like, tons. Imagine how different this conversation would have been. I need to pay better attention.”
“And I need to stop imagining what lewd photos you’re sending,” I said.
“LOL. Just let your mind run wild. The lewdest!”
“So if I get a photo of you pegging some guy next week, I won’t be surprised. Cool, cool.”
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She’d been fucking Elliot for a few weeks, now. They met on Tinder and did the standard coffee meet and greet to make sure they got along, that the photos matched reality, and, most importantly, that they didn’t get a strong creeper vibe. At the end of the date, they parted ways and even though he offered to drive her home, adhering to first date protocol, she opted against it.
In Kate’s Uber drive home, she noticed her panties were damp. She was horny. It was all she could do to hold herself together until she was back upstairs in her apartment. She was a woman on a mission, stripping her clothes off in a hurry as she made a beeline for the bed.
Diving under the covers, she grabbed her vibrator, turned it on and gave herself three back to back orgasms. So relaxed, she got up, forgetting that her blinds were open. She gave her next door neighbor a full show while she went to the kitchen and then stood, resting on her island, eating an apple. Her cunt was still dripping down her inner thighs as she composed herself.