My husband Paul and I decided to have a baby when I was 27, but before we did I had to overcome an embarrassing problem: I was deathly afraid of unprotected sex. My mom had an affair when I was a teenager and ended up getting an STI from the guy she was sleeping with and then gave it to my dad as well. It got worse before it got better, and I guess the trauma of that made me way more scared than was rational. Not scared enough to never have sex, but I never *ever* did it without having the guy I was with wear a condom or use one of the female condoms myself (which by the way, I’m told are *much* better for the guy, and I like them too).
I was so afraid of it that even after I married Paul I still insisted on condoms. We tried a couple of times to skip them right after we got married, because it was “what you’re supposed to do,” but I couldn’t get past that stupid mental barrier. I’d gotten on birth control, and Paul had STI tests done just to try to help me feel better, but the thought of being fucked bare made me cringe.