>**DISCLAIMER: This story is mostly a long string of increasingly obvious missed signals that could have ended in sex but didn’t. This part doesn’t actually contain any sex at all, in fact, and is pretty much just buildup.**
>
>**This still entertains me. I’m really into detail and intimacy, plus it can be fun looking back on the good bits of your own life with a storyteller’s eye, but compared to the usual this stuff is practically anti-porn.**
>
>**If all you’re interested in is hardcore fucking, then** ~~GET AWAY FROM ME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT!~~ **you may like to skip over this one.**
…
Anyone still there?
Hello if so! This is the tale of a blushing virgin boy, his long-suffering new girlfriend, and the unbelievable lengths she had to take in order to pound a clue through his thick skull.
How long can you last, dear reader, before wanting to reach through the page and smack some sense into him? No need to pad the time – there is no judgement here.
**- DRAMATIS PERSONAE**