Before I met my daddy I was dating my ex, I was 18 at the time, finishing my last year of high school, he was 22, working as an apprentice mechanic. I guess I did like him rather a lot, I wasn’t in love, but he was nice and I liked the way his forearms looked when he got off work, the grime and grease and sweat of hard days work always does something to me ?
I wasn’t as nice, i felt so guilty at night thinking about all the things he didn’t know about. But those guilt sessions always ended with me grabbing my box of toys, and inevitably, picking up the phone to send pictures I shouldn’t have been sending to men who I had no business sending pictures to.
I began to accept it, lean into it even. My man was happy, I wasn’t completely selfish. I let him fuck my ass, I let him use and abuse my throat. I let him take pictures and brag to his friends, I even let him brag about what I let him do in front of his friends sometimes when I was in a good mood.