**Sorry everyone – this is going to be long! The fun stuff is labeled at the bottom if you want to skip the rest.**
If you’re paranoid like me, you know that feeling you get when you hear a loud noise at night – especially if you’re home alone. That’s the feeling I got seeing his name pop up on the screen of my iPhone at 4am after getting off a marathon call with a close friend , except the usual terror accompanying the sudden rush of adrenaline was absent.aThe text came through at 12:50am, and it was Friday night. He was undoubtedly drunk – but why me? why now? Our only communication for years had been the annual “happy birthday” and occasional “congratulations” followed by 2-3 more mundane messages. We hadn’t seen each other or spoken consistently in 7 years, and we hadn’t seen each other regularly in 9. I squinted to be sure , unable to believe that my mind wasn’t playing a sick joke on me at this unpleasant hour of the morning. I opened the message, and the proof was right there in the blue and white iMessage text. “I thought of (our major) and it made me think of you. I miss you.” It was too late..too early..too far into a life that didn’t really include him to process that message at the moment. I didn’t reply and tried to go to bed, but sleep didn’t come easy that night despite how tired I truly was.