This particular adventure takes place in the hinterlands of Finland. I know what you’re thinking, hardly the sexiest setting for a story, but hear me out. I was on holiday with my then girlfriend, Ella. Ella was half Swedish, half English and 100% stunning. We had visited her folks, who lived in the Swedish bit of the Artic Circle and drive east to Finland to see the northern lights.
So, there we were in a cabin, which was amongst a little collection of other cabins with a shared sauna, but there was not much else there save for a strip of road, a petrol station and an alcohol shop. Ella and I whittled away the hours by drinking cheap vodka and eating oven pizzas smothered with mayonnaise. These Scandi/Nords are crazy.
It was also the first year of our relationship, so we were still in the honeymoon phase and constantly pressed against each other, hands grasping, tongues flailing and erogenous zones…erogenousing.
Let me bring Ella to mind: