Recently I’ve met someone who is going through a journey of sexual self-enlightenment. The long dormant undertone of curiosities which she could no longer ignore have finally risen to the surface of consciousness. An individual currently feeling that rush of excitement one experiences as you begin exploring a whole new world of thoughts and sensations. Being within her presence ignited the fires of creativity within my mind, along with bringing back memories of my own awakening from long ago. She has become a vibrant source of inspirational conversations, which has prompted me to write about one of my more memorable experiences.
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Life has been taking some weird turns lately. I’m 19 years old and recently single from a miserable relationship. Despite how it ended, she was my first in many different ways involving the world of bdsm. In fact, we entered into my first D/s relationship together. One day later on in our relationship, she surprised me one day when I arrived home from work. Greeted by her as I came through the door, was completely naked and down on her knees wearing nothing but the black leather collar I bought her for submissive training sessions. The chrome chain leash was connected with the leather handle grip resting between her lips. Crawling towards me, rocking her hips back and forth while using her upper arms to perk out those voluptuous 20 year old breasts. She knew exactly what she was doing. Slowly worked her way across the room and kneeled down in front of me, all while maintaining direct eye contact. Now she was looking up at me, waiting like a good little pet for her master to take the leash and reign over the night. As I stared into her eyes, the effects of arousal and anticipation were taking over. As if her whole body entered into a state of hypersensitivity, which prompted me to fully immerse into the realm of physical desire. Lowering myself down so that my head was just above hers presented the opportunity to migrate my hands across the surface of her breasts. Using the thumbs and index fingers to softly pull and lightly pinch her nipples, until they became fully erect.
“UUUUUNNGGGGHHHH!!! MMMHHHMMMM!!!” She moaned deeply through the leash handle which was currently serving as a bit gag. Her pussy lips and clit glistening in the light from how turned on this all was making her.
“Thank you for the surprise, you look so beautiful right now. All dressed up for me and acting like a little bitch in heat. It’s so sexy, you should be like this more often” Were the words which escaped my mouth. Her face turned beat red and she smiled while still holding the leather handle of the leash between her teeth. I planted a soft kiss on her forehead before removing the leash from her mouth, symbolically taking complete control over her. Leading her over to the bed, I asked “Are you ready to be my good little slut for the night? Taking my cock in every one of those tight little fuck holes until they’re all stretched out?”
“Yes Sir!” was her excited response, which led to what would be our final training session together.
I found out she cheated on me a few days after this interaction and was pretty bummed out for a while. She later explained to me that despite having phenomenal sex together, she received a certain thrill from cheating which was an addictive rush for her. Apparently, she cheated on everyone before me and unapologetically stated that she would cheat on everyone after me as well. It was a huge shocker, but also started the internal questioning of what truly drives us? What truly drives me?
I learned how to play a few new songs on guitar as a means to cope. In the end, I decided to play ‘babe I’m going to leave you’ by Led Zeppelin to initiate the breakup, which was the best decision of my life up to that point in time. At this specific crossroads in life I was throwing very big parties and exploring various mind-expanding drugs. Shortly after the breakup, I had a few women interested in taking on the role of being my girlfriend. I wanted more though, not just a regular girl who wouldn’t know how to satisfy my kinky interests and growing curiosities. I’ve already had an unsuccessful experience trying to ‘convert’ a girlfriend form the vanilla side of society, so I decided to take a different approach. There’s a new horizon of possibilities out there which I intend to explore and it’s got me feeling excited. This phase of renewal and soulful rebuilding is sourced from the drive to truly understand myself. Discovering the essence of these desires. Bridging the gap between fantasy and reality. Accepting the components if myself which society deems unworthy and embracing that which leads to happiness. All of this combined into a perfect storm when I started browsing the pages of Fetlife once again.
This website feels like one of a kind. The quintessential Facebook for kinky people. Such a unique platform to discover and interpolate the vastness of sexual desires across the globe. A gathering of artists and poets sharing their creations. It felt like a magnetic force was drawing me in to the void Soon enough I’d come out the other side a completely different person. These feelings caused me to seek out others of my kind for real life conversations and connections. This led to my first large kink themed event which took place in the farmlands of upstate New York. The ‘venue’ was a large farmhouse owned by this very well experienced host who identified as a switch. Upon entering, we would designate ourselves with nametags which contained not only our username, but also served another purpose. Dominants were classified by red nametags, whereas a submissive would wear blue. The event coordinator set up stations designated for different types of interactions. My favorite was the ropework demonstration, but he also had areas set up for various types of impact play and medical fetishes. He guided the room on how to properly perform a basic chest harness, then added in a few creative flairs of his own. The persistent reminders on safety protocols also really stuck with me, along with how educationally sound his explanations were. Afterward I approached him and we talked for a while. He showed me these books, Douglas Kent’s shibari series, which has since helped me evolve the skillsets required to perform beautifully intricate ties. Throughout this whirlwind of an experience, I continuously caught the eye of this seductively dressed woman wearing a red name tag.
She broke the unspoken field of tension by walking up to me with a devious smile and saying “Hello, my name is Z.” I was looking up into her eyes as she said this to me, which came as an unexpected surprise. We talked about what brought us to the event and some of our mutual interests. I found out she was a psychology professor this prominent university located a few hours away. The overall dominant presence she held in the room was hard to miss and I began to sense her desire to experience what I would be like serving as her submissive. The thought of being at this woman’s mercy sent flashed of vivid sensual imagery, leading to the inevitable flow of blood away from my head and into my cock. She noticed almost immediately, due to her eyes continuously scanning me up and down from the moment we met. “What’s got you feeling all excited” She said, while stepping in with her hips to hide the fact from other guests that she simultaneously started caressing my now fully member. She followed it by playfully taunting “It couldn’t be me, right? I’m a Domme, I only like submissive men. A dominant man like you couldn’t satisfy what it is I’m looking for” Following the absorption of this information, I could feel the predisposition that I was a fully dominant man begin melting away. Her eyes accented that devious little smile which made me feel as if I were being hypnotized by a serpent as I thought of a response. Overcoming the nervousness in my stomach, I somehow spoke without showing how much this prospective scenario had my mind racing. “Well, maybe I could make an exception. Have to admit, I’ve always been curious what it would be like, submitting to a beautiful woman.” To my confusion, she immediately walked away. I was in the midst of wondering what I said wrong when she returned. Her hand slapped across my chest and when I looked down there was half of a blue name tag over my original red one. “You’re what’s called a switch. I’m secretly one too, but I only submit to very experienced dominant men and women.” We further discussed this concept and I discovered that she was absolutely right, I derive pleasure from experiencing both dominance and submission.
At the gathering we exchanged numbers and over the next few weeks began the artful negotiations of what it was I wanted to explore with her. Eventually a dinner date was set up and I travelled to her city for my first taste of submission. We decided upon a nice little Thai place with outdoor seating. As the evening went on, I confessed all of my submissive desires. She absorbed all of this information and was slowly putting together a plan specifically designed for the purpose of fulfilling this fantasy of mine. There were suggestive propositions from her which were introduced to feel out my comfort level with various subcategories of bdsm. Things such as being smothered, ball gags, impact play and pegging. I agreed to most, with the exceptions of watersports and anything to do with pegging since it was something which I wasn’t comfortable with due to my lack of experimentations involving anal. Upon finishing our meal, she explained that once we arrived back at her place and closed the door behind us, she was going to effectively own me. Anything requested of me would be followed promptly and without question. I was not allowed to speak unless spoken to. The only free reign of words I possessed were ‘yellow’ to signify that I needed her to slow down and ‘red’ to let her know that I needed to stop. We pulled up to her house and I followed her to the front entrance. After opening it, she turned to me and whispered “Last chance to run away little boy. Once you step through this door, I’m going to slowly break you.” The warning made my heart start racing and I suddenly felt the surreal nature of standing just once step away from what would be a life altering experience. As I went to move forward, time started to slow down and my journey into understanding the essence of submission had finally been initiated.
She shut the door with some force which raised my attentiveness, then proceeded to lock up the deadbolt. Repositioning herself in front of me, looking down into my eyes with hands balled into a fist and resting on her hips, she commanded “Strip down. All of it. Then kneel and await further instructions.” It took only a moment for me to register this command and I began to take off my shirt. “Slowly now.. I want to enjoy this unveiling of my new little toy.” Was one way in which she chose to solidify herself as the alpha. As I removed article after article of clothing, she showered me in praise for my physical beauty, which made me feel a sense of comfort. She raised her hand and signaled with her finger for me to approach her. I crawled over on my knees and she pulled out a collar which she must have hidden in preparation for this moment. “This collar serves as s symbol. It is the physical embodiment of your desire to submit for me. To indulge my every fantasy, bridging the gap from a realm of thoughts into that of reality. You’re taking on a responsibility to serve my hedonistic and sadistic drives once this is placed around your neck, do you understand?” Was the introductory speech she used in explaining how objects may possess much deeper meanings beyond that of aesthetics. I nodded and then raised my chin as an affirmation upon accepting my role. She gently guided the leather strap around my neck and secured it in place. She then sat down in a chair and pulled out a leash, which she attached to the d ring positioned in front of the collar. She leaned back and reveled in the sight of having a young submissive like me awaiting further instructions. “You’ll also be referring to me as Miss Z at all times while wearing this collar, understood?” I felt myself drifting off into a distant reality, something I’ve come to know in recent years as sub-space, but nonetheless was able to satisfy her with the response of “Yes… Miss Z.”
“Okay, you can take off my shoes now. They’re all hot and sweaty from sitting outside during dinner. I know you’ve been waiting to do this all evening.” Was her first command. An extremely well thought out one to be honest. I immediately began navigating my fingers to her feet and placed them on my knees. Unlatching the small leather straps, I slowly removed her black high heels to reveal a perfectly pedicured set of toes. I inhaled deeply and caught the pheromonal scent trapped within the stockings which she was wearing. This experience made my mind melt, producing sensations better than any drug in the known universe. A state of total, overwhelming sensuality. I lifted up her legs to the level of my face and leaned in to express admiration for her well taken care of feet. That was when she decided to press the bottoms of her toes into my nose, smothering my face with her soft, pink soles. I was in heaven as she scrunched them up, planting gentle kisses on the tiny wrinkles which formed. “Mmmmm. I didn’t know you liked my feet THIS much. It’s a very desirable trait to have in sub.” She cooed as my breathing began to hasten with excitement. “But I don’t think you asked permission, now did you?” she stated in a slightly higher pitched tone. What followed next was a hard slap across my face which I wasn’t ready for. It startled me and as my momentarily disrupted vision returned into focus, I saw that her smiling face had abruptly turned into a frown of disgust. “You don’t do anything unless I tell you to, understand? Punishments will only get worse from here on out, little boy.” There a momentary state of silence which felt like forever before I mustered up the courage to say “Yes… I’m sorry Miss Z.” She then rose and started walking towards the stairs, tugging on my leash as a means to communicate I should follow. At the base of the stairs she looked down and caressed my hair in a loving manner. “Come along little puppy, we’ve got a long night ahead.” Was her final statement before we began our ascent upstairs and into the lair of her bedroom.
She walked through the door and I followed on my knees. Looking around I noticed that her entire room was neatly organized with bdsm gear. Things I’ve never even heard of or observed lay out across her dressers and night stands. My mind started racing with thoughts of all the things she could do with me utilizing this arsenal of devices. She took a seat and pulled out this red leather ottoman. Placing her feet on top of it, she removed the stockings and tossed them at me. Teasing me, she said “You can smell them if you’d like to, dirty little pervert.” I couldn’t resist and picked them up, pressing up against my nose and closed my eyes while inhaling deeply. It felt like torture seeing her beautiful soles on display only a few inches away while only being allowed to bask in the essence of her stockings. “I bet you wish that it was my beautiful feet you were experiencing instead of those musty old stockings, am I right? Perhaps we can work out a deal. I’ll let you worship my perfect feet anyway you’d like for 5 minutes, but afterwards I’m going to plug you.” I contemplated the decision heavily. At this stage in life I hadn’t ever considered the thought of anything penetrating my asshole. She knew this and decided to start scrunching her soles while wiggling her toes while wearing the most devious of smiles. I nodded and confirmed my consent by saying “Yes Miss Z, you can plug me.” I leaned in an began planting kisses at the base of her toes, working my way across from one foot to the other. Next I gave attention to her soles, evolving from a wet kiss to running my tongue from the bottom all the way to the top. Afterwards I moved up to her toes again, planting individual kisses while staring up at my mistress in absolute adoration, embracing my desire to be her perfect little foot slave. Kisses slowly evolved into a gentle sucking motion with the occasional circumnavigation of my tongue between her toes. I was entranced within a wonderful state of mind where many repressed feelings finally had a chance at freedom.
After half an hour or so she was ready to collect on her end of the deal. Removing the ottoman, she pulled me in closer and directed me to turn around, facing away from her. She used her left foot to apply pressure on the back of my head, until my face was on the floor. Then she used one hand to grasp my cock and the other around my testicles. I felt her feet position between my knees and apply pressure outwards, effectively spreading my legs away. Her hands were simultaneously stroking my cock slowly while also softly squeezing my balls. She finally broke the silence. “Are you really this excited to take it up the ass? Your cock is so hard it’s pulsating!” There’s no helping it, I’m as hard as a rock and under the spell of this woman. She stopped her stroking motions to ask the question and removed the one hand from my testicles. Shortly after my hips subconsciously began slow, gyrating movements up and down to continue the level of pleasure her now stationary hand was once producing around the base of my cock. I felt hard ‘SMACK’ ignite across my bottom, followed by another on the opposite cheek. As I tried pulling away, she tightened her grip, pulling me back into an easily accessible position for administering spankings. The more I struggled, the harder she pulled and slapped my ass until I fully succumbed to hold myself in the exact position she wanted. I felt a hand start caressing my back side, sliding down across my bottom. Her sensual touch being just what I needed following the harsh set of spankings.
The next move she made was when I felt her thumb rest at the base of my penis, slowly migrating closer towards my asshole. Her other hand released and soon after I heard the sound of a cap snapping off. This cool, wet sensation overtook the area just above her thumb. I took in a deep series of breathes as I felt the lubrication being circled around with her thumb, the anticipation factor becoming almost overwhelming. “Relax, I’m not going to plug you until I have this little virgin ass of yours nice and loosened up. Try not to be so tense, I’ll make it feel really good for you.” Were the words which laced my ears as I felt her other hand migrate back to my cock and deliver slow, full stokes. The sensations caused me to let out an array of various pitched moans, making my thorough enjoyment of this somewhat humiliating experience well known to my mistress. Soon enough I was pressing back into her fingers and she felt I was ready. The plug surprised me for a split second before her voice intervened to provide guidance. “You’re going to maintain backpressure on the plug, relieving it only slightly if you need a break from being stretched out.” I followed her command and felt my asshole begin it’s expansion. Leaning in and holding for a few seconds, then slightly backing off until the stretching sensation became more tolerable. At one point I felt it begin to move further inside on its’ own, followed by a quick motion as it fully settled in. My breathing became irregular as I adjusted to the feeling of being plugged. I could feel her hands gripping my butt cheeks, spreading them apart while planting kisses and bits along tender areas which surrounded the plug. “My god, what a beautiful little ass. I’m very impressed with how well you’re doing so far. I think you’ve earned a reward for being such a good boy and following my directions.” As she said this, I felt her toes wrapping around the tip of my cock. Softly squeezing, working down the shaft until bottoming out at the base. Back and forth until my mind was effectively turned into mush. Her hand began applying pressure to the plug, further expanding my tight virgin asshole. All of this brought me up to the brink of an orgasm, which was exactly what she wanted. “I hope you know that you’re not allowed to cum without first obtaining my permission… I’d really have to punish you if that were to happen.”
My stomach flexed to the breaking point and I tried my best to breathe deeply in an attempt at regaining control. That rush of a cold sweat began to take over while I focused on the sensations of my cock throbbing synchronously to the steady pounding of my heart. Every breath brought about a light headed dizziness, similar to being high on some mind-altering substance. She pulled on my shaft, bringing it backwards and squeezed it with a tight grip. I let out a soft moan, trying my best not to show how close I was to being defeated. She ran her thumb across the tip of my penis and that’s when I noticed the significant amount of pre-cum present as she slowly worked back and forth, spreading it further with every stroke. “I’m surprised you didn’t cum. Most 19 year old boys wouldn’t be able to handle themselves while being exposed to this level of erotic torture. I foresee a very long night if you cant keep on resisting the urge to orgasm… Now get up! Move over to the bed and lay on your back with arms and legs spread out!” I immediately rose to my feet and followed her commands, while she began stropping down to only undergarments. Soon enough she had strapped restraints to my wrists and ankles, attaching them to carabiners which were tied to the corner posts of the bed and could be tightened through a sophisticated knot system. She jumped on top of me, kissing tenderly up the side of my neck until reaching my ear and letting out a low, deep moan. Reaching down with one hand, she started caressing my balls and worked up to the shaft, squeezing and repositioning it so she could rub it up against her panty clad clitoris. She asked me “So.. you want to fuck me?” which I felt was very redundant. Should have expected it to be a trap because as soon I opened my mouth her other hand surprised me. Before I knew what was happening, a ball gag was being forced into my mouth and latched securely into place. This was an unexpected moment, creating a further sense of helplessness. As I struggled to even out an irregular breathing pattern, she began explaining a new set of rules. “Now that you are gagged and effectively can’t say the safe word, I’m going to give you another alternative. If things become too intense and you wish to communicate for me to stop, all you have to do is you’re your fingers three times. Can you do that for me?” I nodded yes and showed my ability to perform the safety signal. “Ok, I have a new job for you!”
She moved into kneeling position which placed her thighs on the slide of my head and her dripping wet panties resting directly above, just out of reach. Leaned over on her hands and facing towards my legs, she was in a perfect position for having her pussy worshipped. I stared upwards in anticipation and then noticed a slow movement, forwards and backwards. As if it were a dance of seduction, she started slowly lowering down her hips so that her swollen clit was running across the tip of my nose. All I could smell was the scent of her arousal overtaking the room. Naturally I started to move my head in order to compliment her movements. Before long she lowered down even further, focusing on the ball gag as well as my nose. She spread out her ass cheeks and leaned her torso back, into an upright position. She started lowering herself down into position, smothering my entire face with the combination of her thigs, ass and pussy. I couldn’t breathe and struggled in vain to free myself, letting out pleas which only served as a source of vibrations to her clitoris. She produced an evil laugh and said “You better start rubbing that nose into my pussy and get me off, otherwise you’re going to suffocate to death.” So I frantically adjusted so that her clit was saddled between the base of my nose and upper lip. Moving my head slightly produced further moans from my mistress. As I slid upwards, the end of my ball gag was put to use, separating the labia and allowing a momentary gasp of fresh air through my nostrils. She noticed this and spread her ass cheeks out further, repositioning to ensure I had no future escape. She used my face as her person sex toy and I became completely lost within the moment. My cognizant thought processes began to drift away. Time itself started flowing in a slower sequence of events. Is this woman really going to suffocate me? Did I just walk into this sadistic psychopath’s lair and give myself up to the slaughter? I could feel her juices running over my face as my mind began compressing into itself. The final thought that eventually crossed my mind was – I should snap my fucking fingers! But before I can translate this into an action, she releases me. “Oh my fucking GOD! That was amazing! You made me cum so hard! Ahhh! Oh, I just love asphyxiation play.”. The world slowly regained color, although in a pixelated form at first. As deep breathes were drawn in, my face became numb and tingly. A buzzing sensation overtook my entire body. She moved towards the end of the bed, laying down between my legs. Taking my penis in both hands, she began kissing and licking it, with the occasional nibble to remind me that I was just a play toy who’s only job was to satisfy her every want and need.
Before I knew what was happening, she started unraveling a condom upon my cock. Next, straddling on top and using my tip to run lines from the base of her pussy to the top of clit in a teasing manner. “Don’t think for one second that I’m rewarding you. This is for me and me only! You’re going to be my living vibrator until this next orgasm or two and I expect you to last through it. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you from crossing over the edge with a few tricks.” Was the warning I received while she simultaneously tormented my cock with pleasure. Feeling the tip finally slide in, I let out a bellowing moan which only prompted more teasing. “You do know I could make you cum in a few seconds if I wanted to, right?” she taunted, while inching herself down the shaft of my cock. “But instead, I’m just going to go really slowly, up and down. Circle my hips around after you’re all the way inside, like this. You’re going to wish with every ounce of your soul that I did made you cum, but I won’t.” It was at this moment that I realized things weren’t that bad. She knew exactly what to do and has kept my cock hard for what seems like hours at this point. I feel a nurturing sense illuminating from her as she softly pinched my nipples in sensual way. Soon enough her hands were at my throat and I was struggling to breathe again. All I could focus on was her devilish smile as she started vigorously bouncing her hips up and down. My orgasm was building quickly and I could tell from the moans that hers was too. I temporarily disconnected my mind from the body, blocking off that connection which leads to climax. That magical hidden realm called sub-space. As I became more aware of my surroundings, she was reaching the end of another orgasm. Most of my body has started going numb and tingly, with the exception of my raging cock which was ready to explode. A sharp pinching pain on my testicles abruptly distracted me. It was followed by another, and another. Trying to look at what was going on served to be pointless since her torso was effectively blocking out my viewpoint. “These clips will help keep you from doing anything you’re not supposed to.” Was how she answered the question beaming through my mind. Right at that moment, the door to her bedroom swung open and a woman stepped inside. There I was, bound and gagged with this sadistic woman placing multiple clips across my scrotum. Out there on full display. The woman froze and took in the scenery before realizing what was going on and quickly made her escape out the door. My mistress broke the silence by saying “You’ll have to excuse me. I need to go have a little chat with my roommate… Don’t go anywhere on me.” I laughed through the gag, acknowledging the heavy sarcasm within this request. She stepped outside of the room, closing the door behind her and I relished in the moment of silence, finally taking in everything which just transpired. Strange European techno music was playing in the background and I took a moment to look around the room. All of her kinky tools and devices were intricately arranged in the surrounding area for easy access. My mind again began to race with all of the possibilities of where this night was heading.
The door swung open and Miss Z walked in. Poised at the end of the bed with hands resting just above the hips, she offered me a proposition “My roommate out there, she has this thing… where she likes to watch. She was wondering if you’d be alright with her being in the room while continue. Not joining in on the fun or anything like that, just watching. What do you think? She’s a really pretty girl.” I felt like this was some strange alternate universe where all of my unknown desires were being fulfilled. As I nodded yes, it brought about that devious little smile once again. Exiting the room for a few moments, she soon returned with the newest addition to this fucked up in all the right ways kind of reality which has become my current life. Pulling up a chair next to the bed, Miss Z introduced us. “This is my roommate Sarah. She’s studying art at the university I teach at and is a wonderful house mate. We share a few similar kinks, but her main fetish is dominant men with German accents. So just in case you were wondering if you’ll get even luckier than you already have tonight, think again… And Sarah, this is my little slave boy for the night. We met at a gathering and I seduced him into this lovely little predicament which you just so happened to walk in on.” Her friend smiled innocently and locked her eyes onto mine. I could feel the excitement burning inside her, the essence of desire being transported through the windows of our souls. The blood once again started rushing from my brain down to my cock and Miss Z couldn’t help but notice….