Her head bobbed furiously as she sucked him. Up and down, up and down. Slurp slurp slurp! The president winced as he scrunched his face and clenched his tiny little fists…. Slurp slurp slurp slurp!!!!! “I’m sorry. It’s just not working. Are you sure you’ve done this before?”
“I’ve sucked a dick before! I swear! I work at Fox News you know.”
“Right…” The president rolled his eyes. “Well sweetheart, I didn’t think it was possible, but you give head worse than Ann Coulter.” The president sighed and snapped his fingers. Two secret service men instantly appeared and pulled the conservative pundit to her feet. “Come on now… You gave it a go.”
“But please… I’ll suck harder! Give me another chance!”
“You had your chance sweetheart,” the president replied. “It looks like your show isn’t an act after all. What a frigid bitch. I bet you’re better at eating pussy. Is that what you’d like? Would you prefer a nice pussy? When it comes to sucking dick, looks like you DON’T have the right angle.” He chuckled, obviously quite proud of himself. “You make me sick. Get her the hell out of my face.”
“But sir! Sirrrr!!!!! Democrats hate America! Black people are lazy welfare defrauders! Mexican immigrants are rapistsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she pleaded and struggled as the secret service dragged her away. The president hesitated and arched his eyebrows for a moment at her enticing words before letting out a condescending and disappointed …. “Tsk tsk… Typically hysterical. Nice try, but too late. Bring in my regular.” He waved his hand, shoeing the pundit away with displeasure.
The secret serviceman hesitated and cleared his throat.
“What is it?”
“Sir….”
“Oh right right…. She’s at the Olympics…. Well then, how about a threesome… Actually, make it a foursome.”
“Of course sir. Right away sir.”
The president closed his eyes and leaned back. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard the door open. He kept his eyes closed as he heard them shuffling in like school boys.
“Nice bow tie douche. Did O’Reilly give it to you?”
“Shut the fuck up Ross. You know that’s the only reason you got the job. You look exactly like him!”
“Will both of you calm down? We hardly ever get bumped to this slot. Let’s make the most of it. This is the president of the United States of America, the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the earth. ”
The president kept his eyes closed and tried to forget about Mueller as they argued and crowded around his shriveled genitals.
“Move over. Just because you have your own show now doesn’t mean you get the head.”
“Oh please. You’re only one fifth of The Five.”
“Shut the fuck up both of you pipsqueaks. I’m the 9pm! I compete with Rachel Maddow! I get the head!”
“That’s enough talking all of you. Do you’re jobs or you’re fired!” The president let out another sigh as he felt the three mouths fasten onto his tiny dick.
“Don’t think about Putin. Don’t think about Putin,” the president chimed in his head. He was still soft. “How about a little more effort people. More motivation.”
“Robert Mercerrrr,” one of them whispered.
“National Rifle Associationnnnn.”
“Sheldon Adelsonnnnn.”
“Now that’s more like it,” the president said, growing harder.
“Lock her up.” That did the trick, and Donald Trump ejaculated all over Sean Hannity’s face.