Lexi broke up with me on Valentine’s Day.
In hindsight, I should have seen it coming. She was way out of my league. When she agreed to go out with me three months ago, I knew I’d hit the college dating jackpot. She was a cheerleader, a sorority girl, her family had money, and of course she was drop—dead—gorgeous. Like, stupid gorgeous. She was the kind of sexy that doesn’t seem like it can possibly be real. When I would scroll through her pictures on Instagram (her spring break bikini pics—my god!) I was convinced that they were photoshopped or something. But then seeing her in real life, she truly was this incredibly, insanely, unbelievably beautiful girl. I’m talking, the quintessential American girl look. Long, bleach blonde hair. Big brown doe eyes. Tanned skin. Legs for days. Her tits were big, but not too big, you know? And don’t even get me started on how cute and tight her little ass was. Fuuuuuuuck …