My dreams were plagued with the way Lauren said what she did. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something going on that I didn’t know about. Something that set this particular birthday rendezvous in motion. I slept fitfully. To be honest, I probably would have been better off forgoing sleep altogether.
I did wake up off and on and would see the three girls sitting on the other bed. They were mostly talking to each other, but I don’t know what about. Mostly, though, I didn’t care to know, they were happy, smiling and I could fall back to sleep blissfully only to have my nightmares about what my wife had said echo on repeat for a few more hours.
When I finally woke up, the girls were asleep and Lauren was in the bed with me, stroking my side as I turned over to face her. Her smile was sullen and I was shaken, “Why did it sound like you were making plans to not be here for Kerri?” I asked. It was a more blunt approach than I was used to, but I needed honesty, not nuance.