My wife and I waited for marriage and quickly discovered she suffered from really intense vaginal pain. We thought it was vaginismus, but after seeing several different doctors, a specialist eventually diagnosed it as vestibulitis. That presents a very different problem because it is a nerve issue on the vagina entrance causing secondary vaginismus. The same treatments help the muscles relax but the nerve pain never goes away, so although she can get things in there, it is not enjoyable. Surgery is likely the only thing that would truly fix it. We mostly gave up on sexual activity for a long while and she’s still a PIV virgin (had to do IVF to have our kid for this and other reasons).
Now my wife is very feminine and “girly” and the classic looking “good girl.” You know, the type who just looks like she would not be up for being very adventurous in bed. No surprise that she’s pretty reserved sexually (admittedly I was too when we got married). Ironically, I figured out over the years that I have a butt fetish and would rather have her ass than vagina. I was way too scared to confess that to her though and just knew she would be totally against back door stuff. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me though, and I worked up the nerve to ask about anal as an alternative. I was promptly shot down. She told me she had zero interest and thought it was nasty. I was very disappointed but what can you do. I respected her preference.