There are thoughts that come to me only when it’s late at night and I should be asleep. The kind of things I think about when I’m laid next to someone else.
Tonight isn’t much different from any other tryst. My fingertips brush gently at the slender form pressed against my torso. She’s sleeping. To be expected, really. She was always the type to fall asleep unceremoniously. Inhale deeply; exhale slowly. Make sure not to wake her because she has a tendency to be grumpy. I smile. She is my princess. At least, she is for tonight.
I should be asleep. But the pattering of drizzle against the window keeps me up. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I’m looking for a reason. The truth is, I almost never sleep. Inhale deeply; exhale slowly. It’s safe to move now. I think. She won’t miss me or, at least, she’ll never admit to missing me. Come morning, she’ll pretend tonight never happened. That’s fine. There’s little difference between something kept private and something kept secret. We’ll each make of tonight what we will. I can’t change that.
I smile.