I was super horny that day, I remember that.
My roommate Imelda was gone for the week, and it was Friday, the first day of my weekend. After breakfast, I sipped a cup of coffee on the porch, watching the sun getting warmer. I didn’t bother putting much on, just a thin sarong, and as I sat in the summer morning air, my fingers naturally were down at my crotch, under my wrap, idly touching my silky cunt hair, and then, since no one was around on the street in front of my house, one of my fingers slid into my moist crack, and little electric shocks went up my spine. I couldn’t quite see if any of my neighbors were at their windows, but figured I’d avoid problems, and so I headed inside. I tossed my coffee cup in the sink and grabbed a jug of red wine, filling up a plastic cup with my name Sharpied on the rim. (It was left over from a party last weekend.) I took a solid gulp of the wine, and then decided that before I masturbated, I needed to get high as fuck, so was bumbling around trying to find my water pipe, which was not sitting where it was supposed to be, on my coffee table. I managed to find it, up on the counter in the bathroom, where I had smoked it while pissing last night, just before bed. Right beside the pipe was a brick of rolling papers and it occurred to me that I hadn’t smoked a joint in forever, and so instead of the pipe, I grabbed the papers, my vial of weed, and went back down to the living room. I ignored my throbbing cunt, which was already wet from the thought of watching some good bondage porn and filling it with a large plastic cock. I sipped my wine and was rolling a joint when there was some commotion on my front porch and a rap at the door.