A few years ago, I had a friend named Carol. We had hooked up in the past, but that’s another story (maybe). Anyway, after that happened we stayed friends and we were planning to go out drinking one night when she text messaged me.
[Carol] Hey buttface! Lol
[me] what’s up spaz
[Carol] Hey my friend Patti is having a hard time and wants to come with
(I should note that it’s a pet peeve of mine when people say “come with” and omit the “us”, but I digress, it’s how she talked)
[me] I guess that’s fine the more the merrier
[Carol] hands off tho she’s married and having a hard time
[me] challenge accepted!
[Carol] Fuck you I’m serious!
[me] kidding we still meeting at 8, Gino’s right
[Carol] Be there or be square ya geek.
So at this point, I honestly was not planning on making a move on this girl. Plus, I figured she’d be a typical midwestern soccer mom, i.e. annoying, overweight and can’t hold her drinks.