[MF] Incredible night with a Chinese waitress.
I was in China on business recently with a couple coworkers. I have been there many many times before, but this was the first time anything like this had ever happened.
For some reason, we couldn’t exchange our currency at the hotel, and the banks were all closed, so I decided we would walk around and see what we could get with the few dollars in Chinese currency I had left over from my last trip here. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to mainland China, but you’d have to be pretty daring to eat anything on the street there and this night was no exception. With no good options presenting themselves, we decided to head back to the hotel and eat at the restaurant attached to their lobby, figuring we could just charge it to the rooms.
So we get back, but it turns out the restaurant, an American-style pizzeria/bar, is not actually affiliated with the hotel at all. So no dice on charging the rooms. This adorable waitress informs us of this and also tells us they don’t take credit cards either. As we sat there staring at each other wondering what we were going to do, the waitress offers to change some of our money for us out of her own cash. We take her up on it, order some pizzas and soda water, and keep her as our waitress.
The Girl with the Fox Tail [MF]
I went to the costume party as your classic Dracula. The “blah, I vant to suck yer blud” kind. Dance party, music, booze flashing lights. Girls in a variety of slutty costumes. I really didn’t know many people were there. I wasn’t exactly new, I had lived in the town many years before, but most of my older friends had moved or we had drifted.
It was a bit awkward, but I made some conversation, danced a bit, had a Halloween themed drink or four. Then I saw Kim.
Kim was a cute little half-Vietnamese woman from my youth. She was distinctly Asian looking despite being half Caucasian, with the small frame that we tend to stereotype Asian women as having but with a large bust that seemed to defy simple biology. Breasts far too large for her small Asian frame.
The last time I had seen her, I had been 20 and her 15. We had fooled around, but never had sex. She was already a freak then though, just not ready to lose her virginity. I would tell stories about her then if they didn’t make me feel like a pedophile.
[burrotica] An experience worth the loo.
Your teeth prepare to clench as your mind races, imagining what surprises will be inside this perfectly rolled breakfast burrito. Your teeth make contact with the flour tortilla and bring to sink in. Suddenly, the protective shell breaks like skin covering flesh. The juices are no longer contained and begin to flow. Your taste buds relay the sudden impulse of sensation to your mind, and your mind is pleased. Your mind begins to discern the slight flavors contained in the liquid. Is that sausage or bacon? Is that a hint of salsa? Your teeth continue to apply pressure and severs the first chunk of the burrito. Your lips close and your tongue pushes it into the roof of your mouth. You feel the texture of the insides for the first time. The slightly melted cheese mixed with the egg produces a perfectly soft foundation for the bacon chunks. You also feel the folds of the top of the shell begin to un-ravel in your mouth. These folds save your mouth from the shock factor of a full burrito bite — dulling the otherwise overwhelming taste. You slowly push the rest of the chunk into the sides of your cheeks and continue to chew. With each grind, the bacon and cheese release more savory flavor bursts. Finally, you swallow your first bite. Satisfying a hole in your stomach that you didn’t know existed. Thankfully, you look down to see the rest of a wounded burrito. The wonderful salty scent wafts up from the gaping hole. Without hesitation, you approach for a second bite. This time attacking the other corner. Suddenly, you are surprised. Your mouth is quickly flooded with tangy juices. The guacamole and salsa nearly overwhelm your taste buds. Fortunately, the excessive folds of the tortilla save you. You continue to chew, and more flavors arise from the bite. Savory cheese begins to mask the sweet tang from the initial burst. You swallow and look down to see a fully opened burrito. Now, able to see the contents, you rotate it 90 degrees. Moving the salsa and guacamole to the top with the egg, bacon and cheese below. The distribution is perfectly uneven. The bacon more to the left and the cheese more to the right allowing you to make calculated bites separating the two flavor powerhouses. You approach for a bacon bite, and OH MY GOD is it GLORIOUS. The flavor is no longer dulled by the excessive tortilla. The bite is perfect. First the sweetness from the salsa hits the front of your tongue. Then, just slightly after, the sour flavor of the lime in the guacamole takes effect. Next, the egg and bacon flavor rushes through. Perfectly executed like a skilled boxer making a jab-jab-hook, you are blown away. You can’t get enough. The hole in your stomach that you didn’t know existed suddenly grew. You are hungrier and begin to devour the rest of the burrito. Through the next several bites, you black out forgetting to enjoy the food. You change from truly enjoying the food to merely consuming it. As you near the end, you come back to — trying not believing that the glorious, miraculous, delicious burrito is almost gone. Where did it go? Did someone else steal some bites? How did this happen? Fortunately, you still have a couple bites remaining — the two end bites. You gladly take them, but it is not the same. The dulling tortilla folds have a negative effect and do not allow the magical flavor dance to dazzle your taste buds. Your look at your final bite with lust and despair. You know this will be the end. The newly formed hole in your stomach is not full, and you know this bite is not going to fill it. You take your final bite — savoring the flavor. As you swallow it, you stand up and get back into line to order another.
Burrotica.
Your teeth prepare to clench as your mind races, imagining what surprises will be inside this perfectly rolled breakfast burrito. Your teeth make contact with the flour tortilla and bring to sink in. Suddenly, the protective shell breaks like skin covering flesh. The juices are no longer contained and begin to flow. Your taste buds relay the sudden impulse of sensation to your mind, and your mind is pleased. Your mind begins to discern the slight flavors contained in the liquid. Is that sausage or bacon? Is that a hint of salsa? Your teeth continue to apply pressure and severs the first chunk of the burrito. Your lips close and your tongue pushes it into the roof of your mouth. You feel the texture of the insides for the first time. The slightly melted cheese mixed with the egg produces a perfectly soft foundation for the bacon chunks. You also feel the folds of the top of the shell begin to un-ravel in your mouth. These folds save your mouth from the shock factor of a full burrito bite — dulling the otherwise overwhelming taste. You slowly push the rest of the chunk into the sides of your cheeks and continue to chew. With each grind, the bacon and cheese release more savory flavor bursts. Finally, you swallow your first bite. Satisfying a hole in your stomach that you didn’t know existed. Thankfully, you look down to see the rest of a wounded burrito. The wonderful salty scent wafts up from the gaping hole. Without hesitation, you approach for a second bite. This time attacking the other corner. Suddenly, you are surprised. Your mouth is quickly flooded with tangy juices. The guacamole and salsa nearly overwhelm your taste buds. Fortunately, the excessive folds of the tortilla save you. You continue to chew, and more flavors arise from the bite. Savory cheese begins to mask the sweet tang from the initial burst. You swallow and look down to see a fully opened burrito. Now, able to see the contents, you rotate it 90 degrees. Moving the salsa and guacamole to the top with the egg, bacon and cheese below. The distribution is perfectly uneven. The bacon more to the left and the cheese more to the right allowing you to make calculated bites separating the two flavor powerhouses. You approach for a bacon bite, and OH MY GOD is it GLORIOUS. The flavor is no longer dulled by the excessive tortilla. The bite is perfect. First the sweetness from the salsa hits the front of your tongue. Then, just slightly after, the sour flavor of the lime in the guacamole takes effect. Next, the egg and bacon flavor rushes through. Perfectly executed like a skilled boxer making a jab-jab-hook, you are blown away. You can’t get enough. The hole in your stomach that you didn’t know existed suddenly grew. You are hungrier and begin to devour the rest of the burrito. Through the next several bites, you black out forgetting to enjoy the food. You change from truly enjoying the food to merely consuming it. As you near the end, you come back to — trying not believing that the glorious, miraculous, delicious burrito is almost gone. Where did it go? Did someone else steal some bites? How did this happen? Fortunately, you still have a couple bites remaining — the two end bites. You gladly take them, but it is not the same. The dulling tortilla folds have a negative effect and do not allow the magical flavor dance to dazzle your taste buds. Your look at your final bite with lust and despair. You know this will be the end. The newly formed hole in your stomach is not full, and you know this bite is not going to fill it. You take your final bite — savoring the flavor. As you swallow it, you stand up and get back into line to order another.
My Pussy is Wet and Hot
Don’t treat me like Somebody’s Mom. [MF]
[F] [Meta] Anybody know what happened to sofiecake?
The last thing she ever posted was a rather terrifying suicide intention a year ago. I don’t know how many people remember her, but I’ve thought about her a few times over this past year, and have been really hoping she’s ok. Anybody know anything?
Ravishment
[MM] My first time in college with a dude. Involves jacuzzis, skinny dipping, dick sucking [reposting from new acct!]
1
When I was a freshman years ago, I met Him. We’d met in his residence hall (arts floor) through our mutual friend. He had an strong Type-A personality back then, so I could only tolerate him in small amounts. For whatever reason, we were able to find a common ground. Later that year, our bonds were forged.
That’s because I sexted him by accident. I was webcamming over AIM with my girlfriend at the time, when my message “you’re so fucking hot/take your pants off and turn around for me” was directed to his address instead of hers. He replied to me “you need to warm me up a little more, sexy” minutes later, after I realized what I had done. I apologized profusely in response, and he just laughed it off. From that point on, there was an understood trust between us.