The first thing I know is a sensation of intense arousal – an absolute, blind, urgent need which yanks me up from sleep towards the surface of consciousness like a life preserver. I emerge into wakefulness gasping, eyes springing wide, heart pounding, a pulse in my groin. My cock is achingly hard, and in that moment I am aware of nothing else except the overwhelming desire to fuck.
It’s like this sometimes when I first wake up. For a minute or two I can’t remember anything – not my name, nor the city in which I live, nor what I did the previous night. The memories return soon enough, but in that brief, vital minute I’m left with nothing except lingering sensations, the leftover feelings from my dreams or nightmares.
And in this case, that’s need. A blazing, searing arc light of desire that I feel not just in my groin but in my chest, in the back of my brain, even in my lungs. It takes a moment to realise that I’m not alone in bed. Someone sleeps beside me. I reach out in the dark and my hand meets their hip. Warm, soft body. My brain, still fuzzed by sleep, calls to mind the sound of their voice. My girlfriend. I cannot recall her name, only a rush of faint impressions. Her hair. The way she kisses. The way she clutches me when we fuck.