This was a couple of years ago and I had just got back to London after living in a sordid little grief hole called Cornwall. I was happy because I was back among interesting, vibrant and sophisticated people instead of having to put up with a bunch of racist, intolerant and probably inbred fuckwits. Also the internet coverage in Cornwall’s a joke also.
Anyway, I was in a bar catching up with some friend’s when suddenly someone who we all used to know from school came over to us (I’ll refer to him as Rob, but this is NOT his real name). At school Rob had been an odious fat ugly piece of wank rag and in the intervening years he’d only got worse. His friends were at the bar and without being asked, he sat down among us. Without much preamble he looked at me and **fucking winked** and then said ”all right Sally (not my real name), remember me?”