[M]y ex g[F] occasionally asks me to send pics, but not the kind you’d guess

Most women don’t like dick pics, right? Well, neither does she, but she does like pics of… bulges. When we were together she would always compliment my bulge, and comment on the bulges of celebs and random men. Instead of porn, she’d masturbate to pics of clothed guys that were bulging. It doesn’t even have to be a huge bulge, just the impression that something lies beneath. It’s more about the idea than the cock I guess.

So a couple years ago I get a text from her saying something like, “I know you’re getting married soon, but I miss that bulge.” She asked if I could send a pic, but understood if it was off limits because of the engagement etc. She had pics from when we were together but I guess she wanted something fresh. I didn’t think it was a big deal, so I sent her one of me in some skinny jeans in front of a mirror. I asked if she didn’t mind reciprocating with a pic of her boobs. She sent one, and sent another one of her hand down her panties a little later.

Fucking My Cougar Roommate [MF]

If you wanna skip to the sexy bit, scroll to the line of little buttholes *****

About a year before I met my wife, I lived in a giant condo with two female roommates. I found the place on a roommate finder website, and I think they wanted a male there to feel a bit safer. It was a really nice part of town, but you never know I guess.

The owner of the condo was mid 60’s, unattractive. The roommate, I’ll call her N, was super boring and buttoned up (or so I thought). She had a pretty face, and a rockin’ bod, but she was a workaholic who never went out.

We never really hung out together, but we were friendly enough and would occasionally eat meals together if our schedules lined up. I’d try to flirt, but she never seemed into it. We lived there for almost a year before the owner decided to move back to her hometown. She gave us six weeks to find other living arrangements. It was during our last week of living there that the cougar pounced.

She was into premature ejaculation [MF]

Years and years ago I dated a girl for a few months who was really into PE. After our first couple times having sex, she said it was good, but wanted to know if I could try and cum faster, like prematurely. I assured her that would be no problem at all, as she was hot as fuck.

I would edge myself for hours, sometimes over the course of a couple days, if we were going to meet up. She liked to get me going with her mouth, and when I said I was close (after literally like 30 seconds), she’d climb on top and ride me for all of 15 seconds before I blasted inside her.

Then it was time for me to go downtown. I focused mostly on her clit, but tbh I probably ate a fair amount of my own cum. Not my thing, but didn’t mind it. Whereas before it took her 15-20 mins to cum, now she could cum in under 5. I guess it made her super horny if she could make me cum quick.

How I got [M]y [F]etish

When I was 20, I had my first sexual experience with a girl other than my high school sweetheart. I’d finally gotten over her after she ripped my heart out and stomped on it. She had been okay in bed, but not very adventurous.

This new girl was my age, but a little more experienced than me, and opened my eyes to the fact that women can be pervs too. Long story short, the first time we had sex, she asked if I wanted to cum on her face. I was so surprised that I didn’t even end up doing it! I was like, “Um, I’ll just cum on your tits?”

Afterwards, I asked if she really wanted me to do that or if it was something she just thought guys liked. She said it was her favorite thing, so basically every time after that, I came on her face. We were fwb’s for like 6 months, so yeah it got pretty ingrained as a turn on for me, and I spent the rest of my twenties politely asking girls if I could treat them like pornstars, and having them either decline or agree hesitantly. There were a few ladies that were totally into it, but none I dated seriously, mostly hookups.

The Ultimate Butterface [MF]

This happened about five years ago. A girl from okcupid and I were meeting up at a coffee shop in the afternoon. I was stoked because she was very pretty and we had a lot in common. I got there on time, ordered a coffee, and waited. When a very homely girl came up to me and said she was so-and-so, I was obviously confused and disappointed.

This girl was like a 3. She had a very large nose, (I actually have thing for hook noses, but hers was tragically large) a severe underbite, no chin, thin lips, and her eyes were very asymmetrical. She was also hiding her figure under a big baggy hoodie, probably because it was unattractive too.

She was quick to admit that the pics were fake, but said the profile info was real. The pics were her friend, given with permission to catfish (her words). She told me I could leave right then, that she’d understand, but if I stayed she’d make it worth my time as long as the conversation was decent and I was okay with “banging an uggo.”

[M]y ultrasound tech teased the [F]uck out of me

Edit: formatting

I hadn’t been to the doctor in like 10 years. My wife and I are about to have ourselves a baby, so she insisted I get a checkup. I booked an appointment at a place that does all these different health screenings, most of which I’d never experienced: a lung test, eyeballs, brain scan, and finally a full body ultrasound.

The ultrasound room was down the hall from the other tests, and it reminded me of a massage room. Lit only by one dim, orangey lamp, and she had meditation-type music playing. That, and much like getting a massage, she told me to strip to my boxers and put a towel over my waist while she waited outside. Once back in the room she said she’d scan my lymph nodes, heart, lungs, guts, and all my main arteries and veins.

She got started, scanning my neck, then my chest, then stomach, lots of clicking of her mouse and staring at her screen. It was super normal and boring for the first 10 minutes or so. I almost fell asleep a couple times.