I miss the look you get in your eyes when you’re thinking with that primal part of your brain. I miss being the person lying in front of you when that look takes hold. It’s burned in my mind, your eyes and that look. You gave it to me when we got high and you spun me in the chair, when you kissed me and whispered your intentions. That look that told me whatever happened next was inevitable and that you were fully in control. Those eyes assured me I’d feel every sensation. That my body and yours would dance with a rhythm you had already decided on.
I miss your smell. Burying my nose in the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap and your scent. I miss the fire that sparks inside me when I breath it in. The feelings of contentment when your arms wrap around me, bringing me closer to that intoxicating mix that tells me it’s you. Your scent and the warmth of your body pressing against mine, making your intentions known loudly and clearly. Being kissed until the world doesn’t matter, that the chaos in our lives can be quiet for the moment. That we can focus on nothing but making the other feel good, feel alive. I miss feeling like there’s not enough time to express my desires fully, but still getting to try.