[MF] Fucked the hot crazy girl from my D&D group. [Long, I guess]

Hi hello. 34M here. I am quite the physical specimen. 6’1″, chubby, balding brown hair, brown eyes, thick Drew Carey glasses, thick brown beard. I’m an IT sys admin and I love fantasy and sci-fi stuff. Yes, I’m your classic “neckbeard.”

I do okay on sites like OKCupid, usually with like bookworm chicks or cat ladies, because I’m pretty charming in person somehow, but on a bit of a cold streak. Also, my old D&D group disbanded because one guy moved away, two guys don’t have time because of work/kids, and the rest kind of scattered. So I was looking for a new group when a friend of a friend invited me to join his group. I happily accepted and met Sam!

Sam is a 27M, probably about 5’6, skinny, red hair, green eyes, very hot. Immediately thought she was way too hot to be playing D&D with us basement dwellers. Sat around, got to know everybody. Sam plays a chaotic neutral rogue elf and not really sure if it’s her or “her character” but she 2edgy4me complains about every decision our group makes.

So I hit it off with my new group including Sam and she adds me on Facebook after I first session. While I think she’s easily out of my league, I do some scouting anyway and discover:

– she has a six year old kid
– 30% of her posts are her bitching about her baby daddy
– 30% of her posts are her bitching about ex boyfriends / guys who fucked her and then never called her back.
– 30% of her posts involve her doing stuff with her kid, bonus points if she implies she’s a brave single parent, doing her best again a world who wants her to fail.
– 10% of her posts are vaguely depressed / suicidal (“I’m sad guys”, “my life sucks”, “do I even try”, “guess this is the end”) and she ignores anybody inquiring if she’s okay or needs help.

So played D&D all summer long with this chick and we actually hit it off. We exchanged numbers and became texting buddies. She also was a console gamer, I got her into PC gaming, helped her build a new PC, got her on Steam and even into my ARMA 3 clan.

By the end of summer she’s probably one of my best friends and honestly I attribute this to me giving up hope on ever trying to fuck her because she is out of my league and also kind of batshit insane. Example, once on FB she asked (without any hint of sarcasm) how she could get away with killing her baby daddy. I replied she should get a 55 gallon drum of acetone and dissolve his body in it. I thought my post was tongue-in-cheek and obviously a Breaking Bad reference but she replied “great idea” without any hint she got the joke. This is pretty much her MO, she talks about wishing she could murder or inflict violence on various people for various reasons without any hint she’s joking.

Her license is suspended because she didn’t have any money to renew her driver’s license. She lives with her mom but just has a wage slave hourly type job. So I’ve been giving her rides to and from D&D.

She gets sloppy drunk at D&D. She loves to drink and is also probably is a high-functioning alcoholic at this point. She also barely eats anything and probably gets most of her calories from alcohol which is awful for her heart. Usually we all have one or two beers on game night but she got extra sloppy last night. She’s laughing obnoxiously loud at all my jokes. Ok, jeez.

Time to go and we head for my car. She puts her arm around me and drunkenly tells me I’m a great guy. I tell her I know I’m great. She laughs obnoxiously. We get into my car and I start driving to her mom’s place.

She is in the passenger seat buckled in but squirming all around. She grabs my thigh and pulls on my beard. She says my beard is sexy. I say I know, I brings in all the ladies. She asks if ladies tug it during sex. I say not really lol. She asks if I fuck regularly. I say I do okay. Her hand wanders up my thigh and she kisses my cheek. I pull the car into an empty parking lot and ask her what she’s doing.

She says she wants to see my apartment again (we built her PC there). I say she’s drunk and let me take her home. She asks if I ever thought about her and I. I say well of course, she’s sexy af. This seemed to please her immensely. She says she’s thought about me, compliments my beard and arms, and grabs my face and starts kissing me. We make out a little and she grabs my dick which was already like half hard.

I push her away, say we shouldn’t. She says you don’t wanna fuck? I’m like not really, we’re friends. She says she wants to be more than friends. She starts trying to unbuckle my jeans. I’m like fine, if you wanna fuck let’s go.

We head back to my apartment. She seems to sober up a little bit. We’re walking to my apartment and she puts an arm around me and is trying to rub my dick with her free hand. I’m worried a neighbor will come out walking their dog so I have to tell her to cool it.

We get into my apartment, I offer her coffee. She says sure. I’m relieved hoping it’ll sober her up even more. I go into my little kitchenette area and start my Keurig. She instead takes her shirt off and goes into my bedroom. Oh shit.

I go into my bedroom and she’s undressing. Once she’s naked she comes over and puts her arms around me. Holy fuck. She’s got pale skin, she’s got some stretchmarks but an otherwise flat stomach, nice small tits with perky nipples, her bush was bright red and kinda untrimmed which may not be everybody’s jam but was pretty sexy in the moment. Easily the sexiest woman I’ve seen naked in person by long shot.

She grabs me and starts kissing me, passionately. Our lips are grabbing and rubbing against each other. Her tongue grazes against mine and I taste the faint scent of Spotted Cow beer. My dick is fully erect and popping a tent against my jeans and she grinds her stomach on my erection before grabbing at it with her hands. She goes back to fucking with my belt. I gently push her away and get naked. I’m 6-1, got a pretty big beer belly, pretty hairy all over, thick hair on my chest, my dick is probably average but girthy. I was a little shy about getting naked in front of her because of my fat gut and she is sexy af but she immediately made me feel better by grabbing my body, grabbing my chest hair and resuming kissing me after I got naked.

She got on her knees and took my dick in her mouth. She sucked on the tip and bobbed up and down on it a little bit whole her hand grabbed my hairy balls. I kind of moaned “fuck sam” and gently held my hand on the back of her head while she sucked on my dick.

I told her to lay back on the bed. She laid back on my bed and I climbed between her legs. I kissed and rubbed her inner thighs as I worked my way up, we made eye contact, I watched those green eyes as she tugged one of her perky hard nipples. Finally got to the top of her legs and I dived into her pussy. I put my mouth around her clit and gently flicked it with my tongue. She screamed and jerked her hips hard, her pelvic bone almost slammed into my face. I start licking her clit, lapping my tongue over her clit like waves the ocean. She’s moaning, screaming, grabbing my balding head and yanking it into her hips. She wraps her thighs around my head at one point and I almost couldn’t breathe. I shove two fingers inside her vagina. She’s very wet and smooth, I start rubbing her g-spot with my two middle most fingers. Her vagina fluids are covering everything, my fingers, my beard, her thighs, the bed. She’s the wettest woman I’ve ever seen. She goes “oh fuck don’t stop don’t stop.” Her hips are rocking, her back is arching, she’s squeezing my head into her vagina, moaning and yelling, finally she lets out a long scream that almost turns into like a gutteral almost suffocating-type noise. Her vagina spasms and squeezes my two fingers.

She lays there out of breath and sweating, doesn’t really say anything. She says she needed that, it’s been awhile since a guy made her cum.

She starts out by complimenting my oral skills but starts talking about her Tinder dates. Guys never go down on the first date anymore, besides they always fuck her and never call her back. Guys are such pieces of shit these days, she opines. My fat gross body is laying here naked, my beard smells like her pussy, I don’t really want to hear her drunkenly ramble about other guys she fucked.

I climb into bed next to her and she rambles for probably 20 minutes. She was 21 when pregnant, her baby daddy is an older guy who’s a union carpenter or something. She thought they’d get married and he’d support them but they never got married and he cheated on her and now he barely pays child support. This goes on and on.

“Wow, sounds hard for you,” I offer.

She says IT IS. And goes on about how being a single mother is hard and talks about her kid for awhile. My dick is totally soft by now and I figured I’m going to bed with blue balls but finally she turns the conversation sexual. She says I’m pretty sexy and gave her the best orgasm ever, we start kissing and she runs her fingers through my chest chair. With her other hand she grabs my dick and starts jerking me off. Once I’m back to full strength she gets on her knees and starts trying to position herself to ride my dick.

I ask if she wants to put a condom on.

She grabs my face and kisses me and whispers in my ear we don’t need to worry about it. She lowers a slick fucking vagina around my dick and starts riding me, and holy shit. She bounced up and down on my dick like a champ. I put my arms around her and held back her as she went up and down. She leaned into kiss me, red hair in my face, then I pulled her in to suck those nice long pointy hard nipples. As soon as I put my mouth on her tits she let out an excited moan and I felt her pussy get a bit tighter around my dick. With my hands on her back I held her chest against my face, sucking on her tits, while she gently rocked her hips a little bit.

She arched her back away from me and leveraged herself so she could really drive her pussy up and down my dick faster and faster. She mumbled something about “loving my fat dick” and boom, I had to cum. I told her I was cumming and she dove off my cock and I came while she was trying to lean in to suck me off. She said she wanted to cum and I was still worked up so I grabbed her and we started kissing while I rubbed her clit with my middle finger. She started moaning and screaming into my mouth. I held her skinny body against my big one, rubbed her clit harder and faster, she started trembling and moaning and finally she moaned and pressed her hips against me and came, shaking almost trembling wrapped up in my arms.

We kissed a little and she talked some more about her work or whatever. I just lent an ear mostly and we fell asleep.

I wake up, both of us still naked in my bed. Obviously I’m afraid she’ll regret everything and our friendship will be ruined. I see her open her eyes and look around groggily. She offers a meek “hi” then says “oh shit I never called my mom. She’ll kill me.”

She calls her mom and says she’s ok, she got too drunk and got sick and slept at a friend’s house. I say I’ll drive her home, I have to get to work. She takes so long to shower I realize I’ll be late so I have to call my boss and say I’ll be in an hour late today. I shower after her, and borrow her an t-shirt (which looks like a tent on her) and a pair of boxers which she wears as gigantic shorts. We head out and she says she’s hungry about 50 times so we stop and I buy us McDonald’s breakfast. Drop her off at her house. She kisses me on the cheek and says she “had fun.” Okay! Bye!

That’s the last I heard from her! Not sure what we are now, guess I’m going not going to make a big deal about anything and see what happens. Also, while she’s an awesome friend and cool chick who’s into D&D and GOT and other awesome shit she’s a bit of a hot mess so not sure I even want to be in an official relationship with her. Also wish I had worn a condom since she did admit to fucking tons of guys on Tinder but it’s too late for double guessing now.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/6wu3ds/mf_fucked_the_hot_crazy_girl_from_my_dd_group