The magical early days of discovering great sex [FF]

It’s hard to explain a sexual awakening. I had enjoyed sex before, but when I met my ex girlfriend it’s like the world changed and I could suddenly see color. She was the first person I was with who I was genuinely attracted to, and it was like I magically understood what sex was supposed to be like. That’s really, really confusing when you’re attracted to multiple genders.

We got so kinky, so fast, and it all felt very instinctual, but I was coming to terms with my own hang ups.

M was one of my more volatile relationships. We would grow to resent the fuck out of each other, but there was a magical period when we first got together where everything was right.

I was a fucking addict though. I spent all my time fucking her, getting myself off while I thought of fucking her, or counting down the hours until I could fuck her again.

I wanted her so badly, constantly. It killed me.

*Weirdly enough, that’s actually the semester that the LSAT “clicked” for me. I’m very productive when I’m obsessed with sex.*

I showed up at her house the first time we fucked and stayed all weekend with her. I left on Sunday and was back at her place Monday evening, the moment I got off of work.

Our sex life was a little off-kilter from the beginning. She was more experienced generally but my lack of [FF] relationships added to that dynamic. I asked her what to do and she gave me directions. Within days we were getting real, real kinky with those directions.

When I showed up at her house we didn’t exchange niceties. She told me to undress and get on all fours. She got a vibrator and stood over me as I started shaking beneath her.

“Have you been thinking about me all day?” She asked.

“Basically every second.”

“Good girl.”

*Mother fucker, kill me now.*

She got on her knees behind me, put the vibrator on my clit, and rubbed it back and forth. She put a hand around my waist and pulled me toward her as I trembled with each stroke of her hand. When she started playing with my nipple, I groaned. Then she pulled the vibrator away.

“Please,” I whispered.

“How much did you think of me?”

“I got myself off to the thought of this.” She put the vibrator back on me. “I thought of you fucking me.”

She took it away. “How V? I want specifics.”

She put it back on. “With your tongue at first. I thought of me handcuffed and you putting your tongue on me. Then I thought of you spanking me.”

She spanked me, but she didn’t pull away. She let my entire body tense and then spill over onto the floor as I came.

I wanted to fall asleep, but she flipped me on my back and sat on my face. I licked her like that until she came, fondling her ass while I did it.

Later that night we were watching tv on her laptop, both naked. Occasionally we’d kiss or she’d nip at some part of my body.

*M was weirdly into biting me when I didn’t expect it. We can unpack that one for days.*

“You have the most beautiful rack I’ve ever seen,” I said as I squeezed her breast once.

She smiled. “Are you sure you’re not gay?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Is this what it’s supposed to be like?”

“What?”

“Sex.”

She started laughing. “I don’t know. I’ve never had sex this good.”

“Really?”

“Really. I mean, I’ve had good sex, but this is especially great. Is this the best sex you’ve ever had?”

“I don’t know. Let’s try again.”

I went down on her until she was shaking. She grabbed my hair as she came and whispered my name. I got myself off with my fingers after that while she played with my breasts.

*We were in a good place.*

I woke up the next morning to her nibbling my ear. I smiled but immediately glanced at the clock and sighed. “I have to go.”

“Why? What are you doing today?”

“I have class and I have to work.”

“Call out of both.”

“I need to study and I need money.”

“You’re at the top of our program and I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Um… no.”

*Thus began what would be a very awkward series of her trying to give me money. She was incredibly chill about it, but I was not. Honestly? Apart from the obvious dynamic, she got money from a job that was very sexual and it bothered the fuck out of me. It would take months to to articulate that like an adult though.*

She got uncharacteristically vulnerable after that. “V, I’m afraid if you leave you’re going to disappear like this was all a weird lesbian fever dream.”

I finally conceded and called out of my responsibilities. The truth was I wanted to be around her too and I wasn’t ready for it to end.

She climbed on top of me and stuck her fingers into my mouth and told me to suck. I did so greedily. I devoured every piece of her body she let me have.

*All of my best moves come from M, damn it.*

“I have this weird desire to stick things into you,” she laughed. “Like parts of my body, sex toys, foreign objects.”

“Foreign objects?”

“I dreamed last night I spanked you with a spatula and stuck it up your pussy.”

“Can we do that now?”

She smiled. “I think we should walk before we run, sweetheart.”

*She had stuck a butt plug up my ass two days before, but whatever. I would have done basically anything she wanted at that point.*

M hated strap ons because, according to her, no part of her wanted to “feel like a dude.” She hated bed restraints because she wanted to be able to move me where she wanted at all times. Upon reflection, our sex was rarely even super degrading, but incredibly controlled and all-consuming.

She liked toys though. It was not uncommon that all three of my holes would be occupied. She liked watching me pleasure inanimate objects. She’d ask me to do weird things because I think she just loved that I would actually do them.

Like… I don’t think she even really wanted me to lick her toes, but I did anyway. I put each one in my mouth that morning and sucked on them. Then she flipped me on my stomach and whispered in my ear that she wanted to see my “pretty little face unravel” as she held a vibrator in between my legs until I jolted forward in climax.

I didn’t know I had a praise kink until I met M. That afternoon she told me I needed to “learn self control.” She made me put my head a few inches from her breasts while she pleasured herself. I wasn’t allowed to touch her, which was incredibly difficult. As I sat there and watched, she kept saying what a “good girl” I was and told me I was making her so hot when I obeyed. She rewarded me by fingering me into oblivion and kept saying I “deserved” an orgasm for being so patient.

M was fucking weird. For someone who didn’t like dick, she certainly liked to put a lot of dick-shaped things inside of me. That evening she made me eat a popsicle and describe what it felt like going down my throat while I was bent over a desk. She got me off like that with her tongue, then took the popsicle from me and ate the rest while she used a vibrator on herself.

Weirdly enough, I had a higher sex drive than her. A few hours would pass and I’d look at her again and she’d laugh and say, “Seriously? Again?”

But I always wanted it. I always wanted her. Our sex life changed me.

At 2:00am she stared at me until I felt uncomfortable. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I finally asked.

“Because I don’t want to fall asleep. Then it’s the morning and you’ll leave me.”

I hate cuddling but we fell asleep spooning.

Most of our relationship was toxic. Years later she would tell me when I interviewed her for this account that *we* weren’t toxic, but rather in a toxic culture as it was a conservative area in the 2000s. She thinks things would have been different if we had met as fully formed humans in a place that was culturally progressive.

I disagree mostly. We were two highly combustible forces hurdling towards each other that would inevitably combust. The backdrop of this story is an excuse for the toxicity.

Still, I got her in these small moments. It didn’t matter that the next morning she got weird and didn’t text me for two days or told me I was a coward the following week because I introduced her to my sister as “my friend.”

These small windows existed. Maybe they were fueled by sex, but our sex was fueled by something deeper.

Idk, it feels good to write about her again. I probably would have settled for something mediocre if she hadn’t shown me there was more. She’s one of the more interesting parts of my past that makes up my present.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/12y4n2a/the_magical_early_days_of_discovering_great_sex_ff