A not so short and maybe a bit too personal confession about how it actually feels like to be the “sexy one” at a party! [F37/M20s/30s] [Party, vibrators, games]

Have you ever been to a party of which you know way beforehand that it’s gonna be all about stupid sexual games in adjacent to all the alcohol one can consume without taking up permanent residence in the bathroom?

Yeah, me too… I don’t frequent them but on occasion I’d rather spend a weekend playing poker and chess in my underwear, hoping that the visual provides enough distraction to make up for my lack of knowledge and thus allow me to win that incredible 50€ wager… I mean it’s much better than watching some horrible movie with my cat!
At least that’s how I convince myself concerning the validity of my decisions…
I mean, clearly what’s a better place for a 37 year old retired nco then that, right?

Oh, yeah… Did you know that according to my fairly hands on research a woman can still be fun and sexy at 37?!😅 Hey, what can I say I was always “one of the boys” it’s a strange concept for me!🤷‍♀️

So, anyways… Usually, by the second night everybody has his/her favorite spot to sleep in, provided the amount of alcohol you consumed didn’t demote you to the level of a newborn kitten… blind and just passing out basically mid-step, whenever! Which means that for people like me, who drink more reasonably the road to the bathroom in the morning is already more or less mapped out. You know, where to expect someone on the floor and thus you’re able to move without waking everyone up… or go out of your way and kick the kidney of whoever deserves it under the pretense of a “genuine mistake”.

So after waking up and swiftly calculating that I have roughly 1 minute to get to the bathroom I try to gather my bra which alone takes up at least 2… Not necessarily finding it, but putting it on. It’s so incredibly hard to hook those things at the back perfectly, especially when you’re trying to hurry. Now all one needs to do is run to the bathroom and hope nobody is inside vomiting their very sole out. However, this one still has a bit of issue with the running part. You see, a vibrator was involved last night, one of those remote controlled things that you connect to a phone. Well, I agreed to it because it seemed a lot of fun for a few minutes, a great addition to a rapid chess game. However, what I failed to foresee is the skill and sheer willpower of engineers who designate their lives to making women cum with their creation… Safe to say it didn’t have a battery life of a few minutes as I expected… People’s phones died sooner for fuck’s sake!

That tiny yet terrifying machine made the night/nights (and sometimes the days) very memorable for sure, but as a side effect it meant that quality of my bathroom run was bounded by my legs ability to stop shaking.
Safe to say that hugging the walls I’ve got quite a lot of obviously very hilarious and not at all overused jokes from the other early birds which all we’re reciprocated in kind or at least with what people like to call the “resting bitch face”. Although, the butt slaps were ignored as I walked by as I felt that integrated pretty well into this morning walk of shame…

Now the bathroom turned out to be even less of an option then I feared it would be, thus I headed outside to find a lovely bush… Can I just ask here why do I need to ask people to don’t look at me in that situation? Shouldn’t it be obvious that I already feel horrible for peeing in a bush and I definitely don’t need guys assessing me with great care while I’m doing that…
Anyways, after I’m done I walked an other like 20 paces to not lye next to my own piss, just as a true lady should do, and as the sunshine was glistening on my sweaty body I was contemplating two things… One that I really needed a shower because last night truly drained me and secondly whether to stay for the last day/night or just get myself a ride back to the motel I was staying at and recover!

Soon, people arrived and besides the horrible joke that I must have burned a ton more calories last night then during a workout. Then while putting his hand on my abs one of the chief instigators also informed me that my arch nemesis, the vibrator has been charging ever since I went to sleep and it’s ready for a round two!
For context that absolute cunt of a vibrator can go for like 6 hours uninterrupted and then needs only an hour rest (recharging)… And I’m expected to keep up with that for the next tow days? You know we’re truly approaching the time of machines overtaking us… Stockfish is telling me constantly how stupid I am in chess, while I barely if at all can keep up with and handle a vibrator… We’re clearly very close to fucking Skynet taking over!🤷‍♀️😂

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Oh gosh! Thanks for reading my rambling, I don’t know if an experience qualifies as a writing prompt let alone erotica… I just felt like giving random people I don’t know an insight into my nastier days, and thus lessening the burden on myself!

(If this is by any means out of the scope of this subreddit, the moderators should feel free to delete it, and I’m sorry for the inconvenience)

I hope you enjoyed it, and to be clear I would very much enjoy chatting about this or anything else really on the less busy and more lonely days with a glass of wine in hand, so if you have such ambitions please feel free to message me and tell me what your opinion is about the above experience or just write me about whatever you want to discuss!

Ps.: I’m sorry for the tagging, this is my first ever post here and I’m clearly not capable of understanding the concept in it… thus I’m sorry if you read something you didn’t want to based on the tags!

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/zjvqv7/a_not_so_short_and_maybe_a_bit_too_personal