[F]uck, that felt good. [F28]

Hi. I’m feeling kind of shy, but god, I’ve just been so turned on and I wanted to share. I’m blushing as I type this.

A bit of personal info: a sexual dry spell has overlapped with a change of medication and as a result I have been hornier than I have ever been in my life. And although it can be incredibly distracting, it’s actually been kind of fun lately. I’m 28 and really learning to masturbate for the first time.

And good god, I’m getting good at it.

So Sunday night, things were quiet. I did some chores. Danced around to some chore-doing music. And my mind kept wandering to sex. Just, thinking about different attractive people in my life, or the women of r/ladyladyboners. How I wish I had someone to kiss and caress. How I want someone to take a warm, wet tongue and use it to connect the freckles across my chest and up neck… My stomach was in knots and.. other parts of me were also definitely hot and bothered. I could feel the heat and wetness in my pants as I shuffled around the house.

I realized I hadn’t eaten for a while and went to the kitchen. That’s where it started. I didn’t feel like cooking, so I just went for a carrot. Not a baby carrot, just a regular, like, fuckin’ carrot.

Now of course I smiled to myself holding it, cause, you know, I wanted some dick. And here I am, goofy grin on my face, holding this 6.5 inch, smooth, long, hard, thing… Ha ha…

So, standing in my kitchen, I half-jokingly, half-experimentally put the carrot to my lips, and slid it slowly back down my tongue.

Cue unexpected reaction #1:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. It felt amazing.

I shit you not, I moaned. I moaned, and I just started sucking.
My breathing picked up and I started pumping the carrot in and out of my mouth with one hand, while my knees buckled and I grabbed the counter with the other.

–Here’s the thing. I really enjoy giving blowjobs. I know this about myself. I once got off to sucking on my dildo alone. But lately I can’t help but notice that the silicone makes these squeaky plastic noises with the friction in my mouth, and it really ruins the fantasy you know?

So I felt absolutely ridiculous fellating this vegetable alone in my kitchen, but at the same time? I couldn’t give a damn. Because the carrot wasn’t squeaking, and I wanted someone to fuck so bad. I wanted someone to wrap my lips around, to tease with my tongue. So I just started doing that. Pumping the carrot in and out, brushing it on my lips, flicking the tip of it with my tongue. I imagined the person I was doing it to enjoying the attention, I imagined someone horny out there wishing for someone as horny as me to do this to them, to get fucked with my mouth. What a waste it was that I was doing this alone instead of with a warm, hard, throbbing cock. I moaned again, louder. It just felt so good to have something to fill my mouth like that.

Of course, at this point, I was feeling a bit of a nut job. *Honey, it’s a carrot. You were supposed to eat it! What the fuck is wrong with you?* I let the carrot out of my mouth with a pop. The slide out felt quite nice. So I put it back in and resumed pumping.

*NO dummy you were supposed to eat it. Take a goddamn bite.* I reluctantly slid the carrot out and put it to my lips. It had a rounded tip. I gave it a gentle kiss. *God you’re crazy. Just eat it.*

Instead I licked the tip a few more times, and decided to take the thing to the bedroom…

Where I knelt on the floor next to my bed and held it out at an angle, like I would hold someone if they were sitting there, at the edge of my bed…

And proceeded to go to town on the thing. I was bobbing my head fast and trying to get it as deep as I could. I closed my eyes and could feel myself getting wetter while I imagined my partner getting closer and closer to coming. I ran a hand through my hair and… oh, shit.

Cue unexpected reaction #2:
Oh, sHit. My hand was on the back of my head. And I was losing it.

While still holding the carrot in my mouth with one hand, I splayed the fingers of my other hand on the back of my head and applied a little pressure . Ohhhhhhh fucking shit. It felt so real. I started gently pushing my head onto the cock/carrot and gripped my hair a little tighter.

Holy fucking shit that felt good. At this point
I really, really wanted to be fucked, so I sacrificed the hand holding the carrot to fumble quickly for the dildo in my bedside drawer. Mmmm.

Still keeling on the floor, leaning over the bedside, I unzipped my pants and slid my hand down into my panties. So warm, so wet. I often need a little lube to get things going but this time I just got the dildo and slowly slid it in.

I always love that first moment. I shuddered and took a deep breath, enjoying the fullness.

–Oh uh, sorry, if you were expecting me to put the carrot in there you are mistaken. Spoiler: Does not happen.

The poor carrot was actually forgotten temporarily while I started pumping the dildo in and out of me. God, that felt good. I used my other hand to play with my clit, and my hips started rocking.

After a minute I tried shifting to more realistic angles but everything felt too tight until I laid down on my back on the carpet. One hand working the dildo, the other back to helping me fill my mouth with the carrot cock. I imagined a lover kissing me and pushing me up against a wall, fumbling our shirts and pants off until there’s just skin and mouths and we’re fucking and grinding and putting messy kisses on lips and necks and shoulders and

meanwhile I’m pumping the dildo faster and sucking the carrot harder and my back started arching off the ground while my eyes were screwed tight shut and then I am coming, harder and sweeter and more intense than I can even remember doing.

I laid on the floor and caught my breath, running my hands up my warm, smooth stomach and breasts, dreaming about next time.

—–

Epilogue: I did end up eating the fukin’ carrot, while I finished my chores. It felt weird though. Like eating a friend. Or like when a praying mantis eats their mate. Anyway, first post. Not sure how to end these things. Sorry for the references to bugs and cannibalism if you are mid-wank ;)

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qrc5qg/fuck_that_felt_good_f28