Losing It – Part 5 [FF][Dickgirl/Futanari][Oral][Teasing]

^﴾ ^Content: ^18+, ^asphyxiation, ^big ^dick, ^breathplay, ^bullying, ^choking, ^cum ^facial, ^cum ^in ^hair, ^cum ^in ^mouth, ^cum ^swallow, ^edging, ^excessive ^cum, ^girls ^with ^dicks, ^handjob, ^masturbation, ^multiple ^orgasms, ^oral ^sex ^[fellatio], ^orgasm ^denial ^﴿

## Chapter 5⸻Feelings

My heart went into cardio mode as Millie crawled between my thighs, pounding against my rib cage in a rush to supply my rouging cheeks and stiffening cock. With each passing second, my legs went higher and my back went lower. Soon enough, I was flat on the mattress with my ankles against the headboard.

I started… giggling again. I don’t know why. I tried to stop, but it just made it worse. Her half-dry mop of turquoise hair blocked the light from overhead as she crouched over me, and the butterflies in my stomach began to swarm. She crawled forward another half step, and let my legs fall onto her shoulders, which kept me balled up and freed her hands.

She used one of them to do that… thing… again. Where she dropped her dick onto my mons. It rang through my bones like a church bell. Her half-flaccid beast flopped over my comparatively dwarfed cock, which disappeared beneath the smothering mass. The display proved somewhat magnetic to my gaze, and I found myself staring like my eyes were glued in place.

Just to reiterate, I wasn’t _exactly_ bringing a small kit to the party. In my extensive history of casual sex, the most common reaction to my dick is one of surprise and mild alarm—something I had come to enjoy immensely. There’s something… _magical_ about the moment my cock provokes a brief fight-or-flight response in a potential partner. The widening eyes, the soft gasp, the little double-take—you can see the gears turning in their head as they weigh the awkwardness of chickening out vs. getting one of their holes gaped. Personally, it gets me off either way, so I’m not too picky about which one they choose.

Anyway, you could be forgiven if you had forgotten that over the past four chapters. Like, I’ve got a huge dick. Millie has a fucking _leviathan_. I cannot stress enough that this thing does not look like it belongs to a human. Millie was almost twice my length already, and it was still pumping up. While balled up under Millie, the thing was long enough to poke between my boobs.

I could feel every errant twitch as Millie’s cock engorged, throbbing in a steady rhythm as it continued to rise. In response, mine began surging to life with a noticeably more present sense of urgency. My attempt to keep it soft proved completely futile. My dick was painfully hard and drooling within a few short moments.

It was around then that I felt the tingling spark of climax begin to stir just past my now-taut scrotum, and I started to freak out a little. _No_. I had one last shred of dignity left, and I wasn’t going to loose the juice just because she laid her grotesque horse dick across mine… again. I dreaded that she might start moving at any second, and I was certain that was all it would take to push me over the edge. My mind raced as I heard incessant, flirtatious giggles fluttering from my lips.

“Wh–what did you… what was that text??” I laughed nervously.

“Oh…” Millie paused for a second or two, “My sis—ster.”

“Huh…?” I gave her a quizzical look, “What did it say?”

“W—… well uh… you asked m—me to choke you earlier… a—and I want—ted to be safe, so…” Millie looked away, nervously shrugging.

My laugh became far more mean-spirited after that. Millie wrinkled her nose, clearly a little embarrassed.

“You texted your _sister_? For _fuck tips_?” I cackled, putting on my best Millie impression “Hhhh—ey sis… Qu—ick-k—question: how d—d—o I st—rangle these k—kinky b—b—itches?”

Millie huffed, looking a little annoyed for just a moment as I continued laughing at my own jokes. _Phew_. It was close, but I managed to kill the mood long enough that I wasn’t in danger of creaming myself.

“I—it’s more c—complicated than p—…people think!” Millie started to explain.

She leaned over me, and gently put her hand on my throat. I stopped laughing almost immediately, as several exquisite sensations flooded back to my smothered cock.

“Y—you see, you d—d—don’t squeeze he—here…” Millie gently placed her hand around my neck, and pantomimed a squeeze to illustrate her point, “…b—because damage… to the w—windpipe? It c—can be permanent…”

She gently ran her thumb along the weird little ribbed protrusions of my trachea; admittedly something no one had ever done to me before. Maybe it was my now ravenous sexual appetite but at that moment? It was a far more erotic experience than I would have thought. Something about the way she did it made me feel as if I were being sized up… like I was completely helpless in the talons of a big scary hawk.

Like Millie was playing with her food.

“You w—want to squ—eeze back… _here_,” Millie continued, her grip further encircling my neck, fingers and thumb coming to rest atop the pounding blood vessels on either side, “To tem—tempo—…rarily cut off the um… b—blood flow… to the brain…”

She rattled on for a little bit longer about some more nerd shit — Like how it’s technically a strangle, not a choke or something like that — but I wasn’t really paying attention. The moment was more or less ruined again, and I breathed a sigh of compound relief and frustration.

“Li—ke… this!” Millie concluded, immediately before she clamped her talons around my neck.

My eyes must’ve been the size of dinner plates. Oh my god. Why the fuck was she so strong? I swallowed out of reflex just to make sure she hadn’t just squeezed my head right off my neck-stump. I rubbed my lips together as they started to tingle, beginning to numb with the circulation to my head cut off by Millie’s airtight grip.
My eyes fluttered back as she pressed down a little more firmly, dragging a long, soft gasp from my parted lips. For a moment, I wondered if she knew what she was doing. Had she intentionally teased me with her drawn-out explanation, knowing how desperate the denial was making me? Was her incompetence a ruse, designed to subvert my defenses just before she sprung her trap?

_Surely_ not. This **was** Mildred Cheese, after all. Beginner’s luck be damned. She didn’t have that kind of game. There was no way…

My head was becoming very cloudy by the time I opened my eyes. Millie stared back at me… with a very particular expression on her stupid geek face. Bottom lip curled over her teeth, biting her lip. Head turned slightly away. Eyes locked on mine. And finally— the edges of her mouth curling ever so slightly.

Millie pushed my hair out of my eyes and ran her long fingers down my cheek. Her thumb hooked gently around my lip, coaxing it further down as she moved ever closer. When her lips touched mine, the feeling was utterly electric. She slowly thrust her hips forward, as if to put an exclamation point on her intention.

I came. Not one of those pretty, porno orgasms you put on so people will buy you things, either. There were no melodic sing-song moans sprinkled with debaucherous pillow talk and addresses to the heavens. My O-face wasn’t the one I’d seen a thousand times in my bedroom mirror. And needless to say, I couldn’t arch my back while she had me pinned to the mattress either.

My face felt like white noise as Millie’s tongue invaded my mouth again, jaw falling open as Millie swallowed my discordant screeches. Her tongue moved across mine with uncharacteristically calm purpose, kneading gently and smoothly.

My pussy squeezed and squirted, protesting her neglect. She had prepared for guests, but they had all stopped at the door, leaving her slippery folds unstretched and her needs unattended.

My load didn’t splurt—it sprayed. No neat, pearly ropes released in timely, well-controlled shots this time. It was more like a burst pipe, spraying wildly until the pressure finally equalized. It coated the underside of her massive cock, sprayed across my tits, and slapped against my neck and chin.

It felt like it only lasted a few seconds, but I’m not really sure that I stayed conscious through the whole thing. So my timekeeping might be a tad unreliable. I’d never felt anything like it. It was like… intense.

It felt like my whole body peaked at once. I sort of lost the sense of where my body was. Like I had cum so hard that I briefly transcended beyond a physical form.

“Did you like it?” Millie giggled softly as she pulled away. Her inflection tried to make it seem like a joke or a tease, but her expectant expression gave away how much the answer meant.

I heard the words falling out of my mouth in bullet-time, but I couldn’t do anything to stop them. With such a blissful fog in my head, I couldn’t seem to find the faculties to lie… or even consider that I should until it was too late. As my mind floated aimlessly, my body answered without guile or deceit—unburdened by my ego.

“I love you…”

Millie’s eyes went a little wide, and her mischievous, expectant smirk began to twist into the beginnings of a nervous laugh. Then I heard a sharp inhale as she gently but quickly untangled herself from me. I was a little confused at first, but her poorly restrained sniffling put the final pieces together. I laid there for a moment as she scrambled over to the edge of the bed, trying her best to hide it.

“H—… hey,” I finally said, “Are you okay?”

“F—f—f—…ine! I’m f—fine!” Millie sniffled, her face buried in one arm as the other wiped tears from her cheeks. “So—o…orr—y…”

“No, like…” I laughed out of sheer panic, “You don’t have to be sorry, Millie… y—you um… you did a good job…”

I don’t think that made her cry any _harder_, but it certainly didn’t calm her down. I felt… bad. _Really_ bad. Like, “I almost started crying myself” bad. And let’s be honest, this wasn’t the first time I had shared a bed with a rookie who got a little emotional after putting their first few points on the board. It was just the first time I can remember… caring.

“Millie…?” I couldn’t put any weight on my foot, so I sort of knee-walked across the bed. I hugged around her back, and rested my cheek against her shoulder, “Like… if it was something I said? I’m sorry.”

I only realized how hard my heart was pounding once she started to calm down, and that made me more than a little self-conscious. Once she stopped sobbing so loud, the blood pumping through my ears sounded deafening. Each second of sniffling and silence felt like an eternity.

“Like… I was just playing around…”

“I kn—know…” She croaked, “Th—at’s—… I j—j—ust… wish—sh you w—weren’t…”

“H-huh?”

Millie didn’t respond in any way I could hear but gradually steadied her breathing. When she finally calmed down, she sat up a little bit and pulled her arm away from her face. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but her tears had mostly dried up. She glanced at me just once over her shoulder, then looked back at the floor.

“Y—you… d-d—…on’t have to d—…o that…”

“Do… what?” I puzzled, lifting my cheek from her shoulder.

“The h-hug…” Millie took a long time to get the words out. It didn’t seem like her stutter was at fault this time, “I’m—m okay… y’d—d—on’t have t-to… do th—at.”

I realized that Millie had assumed my attempt to comfort her was less than genuine, and I wasn’t sure how to handle that. I didn’t feel relief or pride at hiding my feelings this time. It just felt… bad.

“_Can_ I?” I mumbled, turning my eyes away from her.

Millie looked a little conflicted about that question but nodded. I rested my head against her back again, unsure what else to do. The sound of my own heart gradually left my ears, making room for the sound of hers. I found an odd peace in the thump of her heart and the rise and fall of her chest. My eyes drifted closed for a time. Maybe I’d still be there to this day if she hadn’t started talking again.

“I l—like you, Mia,”

Hearing her say that made my heart thump again.

“S—so… c-c-ould… you stop—p—p—pretending… to l—like me?” She sniffled, blinking back her tears, “I—it… it hurts…”

Oh. Oh wow, that _still_ stings. Jesus, I thought that one had finally scarred over, but I guess it still had a scab to peel. **_Oof_**.

There’s… a lot to unpack in these next few seconds, and none of them make me look like a particularly good person. Needless to say, we had a miscommunication. We were… talking about different things. I guess. I realize that now. In fact, it feels pretty obvious?

You have to understand… I felt like the past four hours or so were the most emotionally honest and vulnerable I’d been in… ever, actually. Millie’s genuineness—not to mention our unexpected sexual chemistry— slowly but surely coaxed me out of my fortress of egocentrism. I peeked out, actually exposing myself to feeling something… and this is what I get? Slapped across my stupid heart and politely reminded that I was a whore, not a partner?

What hurt later was the realization that I had been emotionally dishonest for so long that even someone like Millie couldn’t fathom that I might be genuine. I realize now that I was angry at myself, but it’s a little hard to determine what started the fire when the whole place is an inferno. The ashes tell a story that isn’t so obvious while it burns. Besides, I wasn’t a particularly introspective sort of bitch back then.

So… I punched her in the ribcage, basically as hard as I could. Millie grunted and coughed as the blow took the wind out of her. I heard a soft bump as she slid off onto the floor, but I had already turned away to angrily knee-stomp off of the other side of the bed. I practically jumped to the floor, hoping the fires of my rage would allow me to storm out with some dignity intact.

Stabbing agony shot through my ankle, sending me toppling onto the carpet. I braced with my arms, only to find that same pain in one of my wrists, which I presumably injured during my ill-advised sucker punch.

“FUCK! GOD DAMN IT, FUCK!” I screamed from the floor with my injured arm and leg curled up on one side like an indecisive hedgehog.

“M—Mia… are you o—…kay?”

The concern—and lack of apparent pain or discomfort—in Millie’s voice pissed me off even more. I couldn’t see where she was, or I’d have probably taken another swing with one of my good limbs.

“Fan-fucking-tastic…”

That sentence started as a scream, but my voice started to crack towards the end of it. I hid my face in the carpet and pulled myself forward a few inches until I reached my bag.

“I—… I d—don’t… underst—st—st—” Millie sounded closer, but I still couldn’t place her.

“Of course you d—d—d—don’t!” I mocked, furiously ripping clothes and makeup out of my bag as I dug through it, “Don’t fucking talk to me!”

Listen… you probably realized by now, but I’m not the smartest when I’m angry… and I don’t know if I had ever been _that_ angry before. I was looking for something to throw on, though unless I found a way to levitate up the stairs, I wasn’t storming out without help anyway. But instead, I came across the crinkled envelope—the one Millie handed me in the hallway a few days ago. I felt my eyes start to burn again.

“Keep your fucking money!” I screeched, flinging the envelope towards my best guess at where Millie was, “Where are my fucking clothes!?”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d flung the majority of them out of my bag in a blind rage. All that was left in there were a few pairs of socks.

“Mia, l—let me h—h—help,”

“Don’t fucking touch m—”

When Millie picked me up, I swear to god that I had a fist balled up to put into her nose. But when I saw her terrified expression, I froze up completely. I assumed she was scared that I would be violent, but that didn’t make any sense. It was apparent that she could’ve snapped me like a twig in a real fight at this point.

“Y—you… w—weren’t—t—t… pretending?”

I feel like we… connected at that moment. She wasn’t afraid of me—not physically, anyway. She was showing vulnerability just by allowing herself to ask that question.

I had buried my feelings, and she’d given up on hers. We were both afraid to be hurt… but unlike me, she was showing her weak spot anyway.

It was like the anger just sort of… fell out. I dangled in her embrace like a rag doll for a second or two, emotionally flash-frozen. I didn’t say anything. My face was doing that hideous scrunch you do when you’re trying not to ugly cry. I didn’t want her to see, so I buried my face against her chest and shoulder. I think she caught on though.

We ended up back on the bed after a few moments, laying side by side with my back against her chest. In the silence, we seemed to find an understanding. We both needed to be alone with our thoughts, but we didn’t want to be alone otherwise. She had an arm around me. I wrapped my arms around it. We didn’t really talk or even look at each other for a long while.

“M—Mia?” Millie finally broke the silence, but we still didn’t look at one another, “I—is there… um… more? To thi—… um… us?”

“I… I don’t know…” I answered honestly, with an almost monotone drone.

I realize now that it sounded cold, but in reality, it was the only thing I could manage to say with the emotional slugfest going on in my head. My ego wanted Millie at arm’s length, begging for affection and kissing the ground I walked on. But now it had an equally crazy opposition that _demanded_ intimacy. Stuck in the middle was a more uncomfortable insecurity…

Millie liked the fake me. Well… maybe she didn’t _like_ the fake me, but that was the one that she paid three grand to fuck. So like… what if she didn’t like the real one? For that matter, what _was_ the real one? I felt like I wasn’t even sure at that point.

“O—okay…” Millie nodded, sounding a little hurt.

“I think…” I’ve never felt more naked than I did the instant those words left my lips, “I want to find out…”

“R—really!?” Millie’s expression turned giddy as she looked down at me.

“Don’t get too excited, Millie,” I mumbled, hiding my face behind her arm, “I’m not like… G.F. material. Like… I’m just gonna end up hurting you. ”

Millie didn’t respond for a beat or two. I felt her shift slightly, and her eyes sort of wandered around on the back wall of the room, drifting aimlessly as she considered.

“Wh—… what do you m—mean?” She asked, as her gaze eventually meandered back to me.

“Well, if you haven’t noticed? I’m like… emotional nitroglycerine,” I hesitated, surprised to find myself strangely unprepared for her question, “Like, I hit you…”

“Y—you did?”

I growled a little at that, glancing down at my injured wrist. Millie snorted a little as she tried to stifle her laugh.

“It didn’t r—r—eally hurt…” She eventually clarified.

“_Fine_, but you shouldn’t let people hit you anyway, Mille.”

“S—sure…” She trailed off with a little chuckle, apparently not convinced.

“It’s just… I mean, I’ve cheated on every partner I’ve ever had?”

“Can I w—…” Millie’s stutter stopped her, but her expression quickly revealed her embarrassment at having said anything.

“What was that?”

“H—hm?”

“What you just said?”

“C—an… I—erm… uh…” Millie’s neck disappeared into her shoulders again as she averted her eyes, “…watch?”

I turned over to get a better look at her pinkening cheeks. She couldn’t bring herself to look at me but didn’t turn away.

“I’m serious, Millie.”

“Is it… weird… i—if that’s… okay? With me?” Millie grinned, biting her lip playfully, “I— uh… w—watched your vid—d—deos, so… I think i—…it’s kinda… y—yeah…”

There’s a lot to unpack there, but if you’ve ever seen how I do laundry, you’ll realize that isn’t my strong suit.

“S-so… wait… like…” I paused for a moment to wrangle my thoughts, “Millie, I’m not a good person. Don’t—…Ugh…”

“I don’t think a bad person would think about it this much, Mia…”

“Wh—… huh?”

“Like… if you were as bad as you say… I don’t think you’d care if I got hurt or not…”

“No… I mean… Millie, I’ve been really shitty to you. Like… you deserve—”

“Um… I d—don’t—” Millie hesitated for just a moment, “I like it…”

“You… _like_ being abused?”

“N—n—no! I mean… I st—still… um… I really c—care about you… and um… I’d like you t—to uh… care about m—m—e too, but…” Millie paused and took a breath to try and steady her speech. She looked lost for just a moment… then smiled as she pulled me in tight, “You’ll… hurt me if I ask… right?”

Oh. This was very bad. Both of us let out a cry for help and instead found an impossibly accommodating enabler. Rationally, I knew what I should’ve done. I should’ve enrolled us both in therapy, and cut off sexual contact for months until we could be deprogrammed of the intensely unhealthy sexual coping mechanisms we had convergently evolved.

But that would’ve made for a pretty boring story, right? As usual, my rational mind wasn’t calling the shots. And for once? I’m kind of glad that it wasn’t.

“Maybe uh… like, we could work out some sort of… system?” I stumbled over my words, trying to focus.

“M—aybe a safe wwword?” Millie suggested, “Maybe quesadilla… o—r something?”

I was so horny that I didn’t even think to make fun of her for that.

“Sure! And like… maybe we could like…cause y’know… like now? I can’t really— like, I’m kinda—”

“D—defenseless?” Millie interrupted.

As she looked down at me, I started to feel very small again. That smile from earlier had returned, as had the thumping in my chest. Finally…

“Y—yeah, so um…” I tittered nervously.

Millie leaned over me as I sat on the edge of the bed. She put an arm on either side of me and leaned over to bring our eye-lines even. I felt my shoulders shrink as my nervous laughter resumed.

“That’s okay!” She reassured me with a warm smile, “It’s ge—getting kinda late an—n—nyway. Are you h—hungry? M—my treat…”

Millie started fussing over my injured wrist, prattling on about getting another ice pack and texting her sister for advice about whether to wrap or splint it. She stood up straight to look for her phone, which brought her mostly-flaccid monster up to neck level for me. My eyes followed it like a hungry dog.

I don’t even think she did it on purpose that time, which is somehow worse. She was just oblivious to her ability to make me melt into a tiny puddle and too good of a person to press her advantage without an explicit invitation. While those should all theoretically be good traits in a partner, her inability to take a hint was driving me to the brink of insanity.

“Let me um… g—get you some more—_ahhnngh ~♥︎_…”

Millie’s sentence devolved into a low moan as I gagged myself on her cock.

“M-M-M-Mi—_aaahn~_…”

Millie’s will to protest died on the spot because I started giving her the sloppiest head of my entire life—and you should know how high that particular bar is by now. I gagged. I choked. My eyes watered. Even my nose ran after a while, but that all took a firm backseat to sucking that nerd’s monster cock.

For her part, Millie seemed to have some trouble finding words herself. She stood with her fists clenched, wobbly knees locked, and teeth gritted. Her curled toes did this cute little fidget against one another every time I pulled back to throat myself again.

My uninjured hand milked her cock relentlessly, the steady fap-fap-fap of my furious masturbation becoming the percussion section of this erotic concerto.

“Mia,” Millie moaned, her jaw falling slack as she neared the end of her resistance, “W—wait!”

She put a hand to my forehead and popped my lips from her cock. I remember seeing it twitch wildly just before a tiny stream of opaque jism dribbled out of the tip. I stuck my tongue out to try and catch it, but Millie held my head fast—teeth clenched in restraint as she barely held back her climax.

I thought she was just trying to tease me at first… so I played along. I whined and pouted, playfully pushing against her while I stretched my tongue to its limit.

“Miwwie… pwease bust yew fat nyut aww ovew my face…” I looked up at her with big doe eyes, “I’ww dwink it awwwww u—”

I didn’t even get to finish the sentence before a dingy, off-white jet splattered against my face. Taking the moment to my advantage, I slapped her hand away and picked up where I left off— giving the absolute filthiest blowjob of my storied career.

Her knees buckled a little when I started milking her into my mouth with my hands, taking a slightly more measured approach than last time. I swallowed what I could, and let the rest ooze slowly down my face and body.

It was only after I’d emptied the round she had chambered that I realized… it was a lot brighter, all of the sudden. Like, the room itself. It was almost like someone had…

Millie squeaked as her eyes reached the top of the stairs. I heard a surprised gasp, followed by a surprised, yet extremely amused laugh. My heart felt like it stopped as I sat there covered in Millie’s pasty cum.

“H—holy _shit_…” A feminine voice laughed from the top of the stairs, “Maybe uh… shut this door next time, Mil…”

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/pnw0wj/losing_it_part_5_ffdickgirlfutanarioralteasing