It’s hard for me to accept my newfound kink in the beginning. I am a strong woman. I don’t need a man’s validation and I don’t tolerate any disrespect. I am a treasure and I demand to be treated as such.
Why then, do my knees go weak when I hear him call me a little cock slut? Why do I yearn to be shoved to the floor and forced to take him in my mouth as he sees fit? My body aches to feel the burn of his strikes while I lay splayed out over his knee. My neck feels incomplete without his hands, or even better, a collar. I want to be brought to the edge over and over until I’m begging for release. I want to be hurt. I want to be scared.
It takes me a while to accept this. I am a lady. I am elegant. I must maintain some dignity. Even in the bedroom. The sex I engage in is never bad. I don’t have time for bad sex. I just know, in the back of my head, I yearn for just a little more.
My orgasms come easily. I know how to bring myself there and I know just how to buck to achieve this with a partner. Maybe though, just maybe, I want someone to make me work harder for them. I have about five or six a session. I think I’d like to have him rip each one of those away from me right before they’re achieved. I think I want him to make me beg. I might even want him to make me cry with frustration. Maybe one orgasm will hold the same weight as my six when he decides when they’re allowed.
It takes about two years in total until I accept this part of me. It takes another year until I am proud of this part of me. I understand now that though I long to be degraded, it’s I who allow this to happen. I have placed myself under his heel. He will never hurt me more than I want to be hurt. When the game is too much, I have the magic word to make it stop. The real truth is, that though I want him to brand me and make me his, he does this because he’s so wholly devoted to me. He is my dom just as much as I am his sub.
This is not a hierarchy. These are two roles that require the other to balance. This is a dance that I choose to be a part of.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/nmt159/becoming_a_sub
Yes girl. Do you!
Thank you for sharing this! It so resonates with what I’ve experienced from the other side with a partner who likes to sub.
When I dom, it’s very much because I know he wants me to. And now I really have fun with it! It’s not the name calling etc itself I enjoy, but rather that I know the effect it will have.
So I particularly appreciate this kind of portrayal of a dom/sub relationship. ?