[MF] Helping My Best Friend Find Herself

Hey everyone, this is a throwaway for obvious reasons. Names have been changed to protect those involved – myself included. For anyone just wanting to find the good parts, skip to the *****, because there’s a LOT of background here.

Nicole had the power to control every room she’ll ever walk into, she just didn’t know it. Her natural strawberry-blonde hair shone brightly in the light and intrigued in the dark, and her dazzling eyes stole the show time and time again. They were a bluish gray, the color you’d see on a foggy morning on the water. At 5’7 and 120 pounds, she had the build of an athlete, but she never played a sport. Stephanie was just naturally gorgeous in every sense of the word, her beauty effortless.

At 21 years old, Nicole had been through the ringer. Her dad died when she was young, leaving her to be raised by a single mother – someone who was precisely the opposite of a stable role model. Her taste in men was terrible, leaving a carousel of people coming in and out of the house. Some were nice. Others weren’t.

As Nicole went through high school, she searched for the affection she couldn’t get at home. Whether it was pills or assholes in her classes, there was always an attempt to fill the hole that sat empty for the last 13 years. Eventually she met Jonathan, who was going to the same college as her in a few months. It started off innocently enough, but the tides turned quickly. There’s so much to dive in there, but it can be summarized by this: Jonathan and a couple of his friends are in jail now and should be for 5-10 years.

Feeling broken – both physically and mentally – Nicole took some time to herself. She was entering the spring semester of her freshman year, and she was determined to put her horrid past behind her. Eventually, she met her knight in shining armor – or so she thought. Brett was the perfect gentleman, the type to open doors and pull chairs out. For two years, they had a blissful relationship, even getting a dog to accompany them in their shared apartment.

Nicole loved the world around her, becoming one with nature. The only thing more beautiful than her was the lens in which she viewed her surroundings, and it was only natural that she took a liking to photography. Whether it was the landscape of an open field or the play on a packed football field, she spent her time capturing every sight and sound.

Through her photography, Nicole got a job at a school publication. That’s where she met myself. I’m not much to look at – not tall, dark and handsome in the classical sense. When in high school, I was rather popular. I was on the basketball and baseball teams, despite my height and strength, or lack thereof. Instead, I was able to get by in sports because of my IQ, always making the right play at the right time.

As I got to college, I struggled to adapt. All my friends were gone, and I was never a true social butterfly even when life was easy. Instead of growing into a better self in college, I regressed. I gained the freshman 15 and spent most of my time to myself, the only friend I had being my roommate, who spent most of his time away from the dorms to be with his high school sweetheart.

In my junior year, I gained a presence on the sports side of the campus publication. My intelligence on the field translated well to writing off of it, and before I knew it, I was the beat writer for the football and men’s basketball teams. Writing always came natural to me, but I also had plenty of reps on the keyboard. As a lonely 20-something-year-old, I’d spend my free time writing stories, usually of a romantic nature. I fell in love with rom-coms and dedicated myself to eventually getting a screenplay greenlit, though I haven’t come close to that yet.

When I first laid eyes on Nicole, I fell in love. I got one glance at her eyes and wanted to never look away from them. My entire college life to that point had been wallowing in loneliness, wanting only to have the life of the characters I’d watch in darkness in bed. I tried to get the courage to make up some cheesy pickup line, but all I mustered out was a “hey.”

“Hi,” she replied.

“I’m Michael.”

“I’m Nicole.”

There was something about her – or, better said, it was everything about her – that made me too shy to even entertain the idea that I had a chance with her. So I smiled, said “nice to meet you,” and turned back to my laptop to preview the upcoming football game. Little did I know that Nicole was there to take pictures for the stories I’d wind up writing that season.

Over the fall, we got close, but only in the way that work friends are. We would talk and laugh during halftime or at practices, occasionally texting jokes to each other throughout the week. She told me about Brett, her boyfriend whom she loved more than anything. It hurt to know I couldn’t date her, but I was more than happy being her friend – Nicole was truly a special person, and I was just fortunate to get to be in her life.

Eventually football season ended, and basketball season came. As a publication, we decided to send three writers (including myself) and our photographer (Nicole) on a road trip for a high-profile game. We rented a house in the town of the other college for the weekend, driving up on a Friday and coming back to campus that Sunday night. I volunteered to drive the entire way – I don’t like other people driving my car, and I love long road trips. Nicole sat in the front seat, and while the other two slept in the back most of the way.

Throughout the 8-hour drive, our friendship continued to grow. Feeling comfortable being open with the others passed out, we dove into a lot of interesting topics. She’d talk about her life with Brett, I’d pretend that I was scoring on Tinder. It was great fun, even if I had to try to keep up appearances to mask how sad I was underneath.

Eventually we arrived at the house and picked our bedrooms. It was a big place, so we each had our own rooms. Mine and Nicole’s were on the first floor, and Stephanie and Madison had rooms on the second floor. After a night of hanging out and watching random things on Netflix, we retired to our respective beds. At around 1 in the morning, I heard a scream from Nicole’s room. I knocked and heard crying, and I opened the door just a bit to make sure everything was ok.

“You can come in, Michael.”

I entered to see her eyes red and her hair a mess. She told me that she has chronic nightmares because of her past – not elaborating – and is scared to sleep by herself. I asked if she’d want me to sleep on the floor, and she practically begged me to. I struggled to fall asleep, as it was fairly uncomfortable, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to be the best friend I could be at that moment.

An hour passed before she spoke up.

“Are you sleeping?”

“No, I’m awake.”

“Good. Can you come sleep up here? I’d feel a lot safer if you did.”

“I suppose.”

So I came up to the bed and laid on top of the covers. I may have been in love with her, but I didn’t want to overstep or take things too far. I’d rather be miserable and her friend than make the wrong move and risk losing her forever. Eventually she asked me for a hug and didn’t want to let go, and it turned into a spooning encounter. It probably was a sign, but I didn’t act on it.

We wound up falling asleep, and I fortunately woke up early enough to sneak back to my own room before Stephanie and Madison saw me. We didn’t talk about what happened, and we went to the team’s practice later that day and acted like normal. Later that night, while we were all on the couches watching TV, I got a text.

“Thank you for last night. Can you sleep here again tonight?”

“Of course. I’m always here to help, Nicole.”

We all went to our own bedrooms again, but when I felt confident the other two were sleeping, I knocked on Nicole’s room quietly and entered. The first thing I noticed was that her attire was drastically different from the night before. While she was wearing pajamas on Friday night, she now donned only boyshorts and a thin white tank top, her hard nipples poking through the cotton fabric. I didn’t mention her body before, and that’s because I never really saw her in a sexual way prior to this. I may have loved her, and she was always beautiful, but she seemed so unattainable that it wasn’t really a lust type of thing. It may be cliche, but I loved her for who she was. Now, however, I saw her in a new light.

Her tits were perky, probably on the B/C borderline. They had a slight jiggle when she sat up to greet me, but I was most impressed with how firm they were. Because of the see-through nature of the clothing, I can tell they were a darkish-brown, different than you’d expect from someone with a pale complexion like herself. Her nipples were like erasers, trying to break free from the thin cotton fabric. Her ass was on the smaller end, but it was tight. She was lean, but in that underwear, her bubble butt popped.

But knowing Nicole had a boyfriend, and being incredibly shy and insecure, I didn’t make a move once again. We laid down facing each other, our faces inches apart. I stared into her eyes, the ones I never wanted to turn away from. They had this way about them wherein you could look deep into her soul, and suddenly you knew that every problem you had in life would turn out okay. Her eyes had the power to make it all better.

We stayed like that, holding each other in our arms. But I never moved the six inches needed to make my lips meet hers. She, for her part, didn’t either. I would later find out that she wanted me to kiss her that night, but I was too stupid and scared to do anything about it.

Before I knew it, we were sleeping. For the second morning in a row, I snuck out of a girl’s bedroom, even though I had nothing to hide. It was game day, and the school we go to picked up a pivotal road win that would do wonders for its postseason seeding. The game ended, and after our stories were written and published, it was time to embark on the 8-hour car ride back home.

It got late on the drive, but Nicole stayed up in the passenger seat with Stephanie and Madison once again sleeping in the backseat – they were terrible road trip partners. As the trip wound down, Nicole changed the subject from whatever asinine topic we were on.

“I thought you were going to kiss me last night.”

“Really?”

“I mean, how could I not?”

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying. I wouldn’t do that, though. You have Brett, and I’d never want to come in between your relationship.”

“Thank you, Mike. That means a lot. I’ve been around a lot of shitty guys in my life, but I’m glad I can trust you.”

Once we stepped foot back in our college town, our entire relationship changed. We became inseparable, spending nearly every day together. She was a year older than I was, and we didn’t have the same major, but that didn’t stop us from having lunch in between classes and hanging out at either of our places at night. It felt like I was Chuck and she was Alex from the aggressively mediocre rom-com, ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.’ I wasn’t gay, and she knew that, but it had a similar vibe. We were best friends, but nothing was to happen between us.

That lasted for around a month, and it was great. I didn’t have a girlfriend, but I had a true friend. Someone I could tell anything to – you know, except how in love with her I was – and I was the happiest I’d been in my nearly three years of college to that point.

Then one night, everything changed. At 3:30 on a Friday morning, I heard a loud bang on my door. Startled, I threw on my robe and slippers (yes, I have the soul of a 60-year-old grandfather) and answered the door. It was Nicole, sobbing with a huge red mark on her face. She also had her dog, Scout, at her side.

“Brett.”

“What?”

“Brett hurt me. Can I stay here?”

I never got details on what happened that night. The mark on her face obviously gave me insight into part of the events, but she didn’t want to say anything more. I asked if she wanted to call the police or get someone involved, and that was shut down immediately. I truly tried to get her the help she ostensibly needed, but there was nothing I could do.

Nicole told me that her and Brett were taking a break, and he was going to spend time with his family for the weekend. Knowing she was scared to sleep alone, I offered her and Scout my apartment. She didn’t say anything, but the look on her face told me everything I needed to know.

We ended up falling back asleep, us holding each other and the dog sleeping at the foot of the bed. From an outsider’s perspective, it would’ve been a picture-perfect representation of a couple fully in love. It wasn’t that, obviously, and I was just focused on being the best friend I could.

*************

When we finally woke up, we just spent time together like we had the previous month. We watched some shows, ate good food – I’m a half-decent cook when I want to be – and just shot the shit like old friends. Scout was awesome as always, giving us a reason to leave my tiny apartment multiple times throughout the day. By the time it got late, we assumed our positions for sleeping, and Nicole laid with her face to me.

“Do you want to kiss me?,” she said.

“What about Brett?,” I replied.

“I don’t think I can forgive him for what he did to me.”

“Oh.”

“So do you want to kiss me?”

“I really do, Nicole. But is this what you want?”

“I think so.”

“That’s not good enough, Nicole. I’ve been wanting to kiss you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Hell, I’m practically in love with you. But I’m not going to do this unless you’re 100 percent on board.”

She looked at me confused, like it was the last thing she expected to hear. Her eyes darted down in thought, and it took what felt like an hour for her to look back at me.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

So I did. I leaned in and kissed her with everything I had. It took a beat for her to truly reciprocate, but when she did, my entire life changed. She pushed her lips against mine so hard I rolled over to my back, and she immediately climbed on top, straddling me while darting her tongue around the inside of my mouth. It was sloppy, and it probably seemed like we were in middle school and doing this for the first time. We made out like the world was ending, but after a couple of minutes, we slowed down to a more romantic pace.

I broke our kiss and stared into her eyes, making sure I said what I’d been meaning to for the past 6 months.

“I love you, Nicole. I’m in love with you.”

Her eyes glimmered, and while she didn’t reciprocate, she pulled me back in for another kiss. We explored each other with our hands, mine gravitating down to her tight ass and giving a slight squeeze. Her hands ran through my thick hair before coming down to my shoulders before stroking my arms and chest. I sat up to take it off, and she returned the favor.

My eyes became glued to her perky tits, the eraser-like nipples begging to be sucked. So as not to deny them their due, I latched on, teasing the nipple on one breast before rolling the other with my fingers and giving a slight pinch. She moaned as I went to work on her breasts, biting my ear while I continued to stimulate her.

Eventually I picked her up and placed her on her back, making sure to leave her breasts for the time being and kiss her lips again. We made out with less passion than the start, but it was a welcome change. This felt less like lust and more like love, less primal and more romantic.

I would alternate from her lips to her neck, making sure to kiss both sides before coming back up to her ears and her mouth again. I repeated this cycle again and again, going further down her neck each time and teasing a return to her nipples.

Finally I gave in, going back to sucking and teasing her nipples and making her moan in pleasure. When I felt it was time to move on, I slowly kissed down her stomach and navel, getting to her panties which were soaking wet at this point. I passed her sex and continued down to her thighs, stopping at her knees before slowly making my way back up her inner thighs, making sure to kiss her slowly as I went up.

When I finally reached her panties again, I looked up at Nicole’s eyes. Her gaze met mine. I waited for her approval. She nodded and lifted her butt off the bed, giving me room to pull her panties down and off completely.

Her pussy was amazing. The labia were tight, hiding all the goodies inside. Above them was a soft patch of reddish pubic hair, trimmed neatly into a landing strip. It took all of my willpower not to dive right in, but I was able to hold back and tease her thoroughly before finally getting to the promised land.

I used my fingers to spread her lips open, finding the clit immediately and latching on. I was tender but determined, making sure to “be rude to it” as Allison Brie’s character from ‘Sleeping with Other People’ would say. I gave her clit everything I had, leading to a rather loud orgasm from her as I sucked and licked away (sorry to my neighbors!).

As she came down from that orgasm, I continued my work, eventually pushing a finger inside and tapping her g-spot on the roof of her vagina, feeling the small bumps as I touched it on and off. It didn’t take long for her to cum again, this time not screaming like before, but instead shuddering. She then pulled my face up from her pussy and kissed me, then pulling away.

“I love this, but I physically can’t anymore. I’m too sensitive.”

“Ok, that’s fine. I’m just happy you enjoyed yourself.”

“We’re not done, I just can’t have you attacking my clit anymore. Do you have a condom?”

I did have condoms in my nightstand. Twenty-four, to be exact, the exact amount that came in the box. While I wasn’t a virgin – I did my fair share in high school – college, as I’ve mentioned, had been incredibly lonely to this point. Anyways, I pulled one out and pulled down my boxers, freeing my incredibly average cock from its prison. I looked into her eyes as I rolled it on, ready to finally consummate the affection I’d held for her for half a year.

As I lined myself at her entrance, I looked at her eyes again. She seemed… off.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes. Let’s do this.”

I shrugged off my apprehension and continued, making contact with her opening and gearing up to push inside. But I hesitated, looking up at her face, which was wrought with terror. I pulled back and sat up.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I promise, it’s ok if we don’t.”

She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, crying on the way. She slammed the door shut and locked it, her cries crushing me. I walked to the door and prepared to knock, but instead just sat down.

“If I did something wrong, I’m sorry. I’m here to talk whenever you’re ready.”

After about 10 minutes passed, the door opened and I stood up to meet her.

“I’m sorry, I just got worried. I didn’t know what you were doing.”

“What?”

“You kept stopping to ask me if I wanted to keep going. It made me think something bad was going to happen.”

“What did you think was going to happen? I just wanted to make sure this was what you really wanted.”

“Do you always do that, or was this just for me?”

“I always do that, Nicole. That’s how this is supposed to go.”

“Oh.”

Her reaction told me everything I needed to know. Whatever happened in her past, she never learned how this process works.

After she calmed down, we got dressed and went to bed. In the morning, I broke away from her embrace to jump in the shower, my mind racing as I stood there with hot water dropping on my face and down my body. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even hear the bathroom door open, or the shower door for that matter.

She tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around startled, then immediately calmed down as I saw her eyes and smile. She hugged me tightly, an awkward thing to do when you’re both fully naked, but I hugged her back. We just stood there for a few minutes, the water running over ourselves.

“Thank you,” she said into my shoulder.

“Always, Nicole. Always.”

I kissed her forehead and then her lips, trying to show how much I loved her in a single act. There wasn’t any funny business in the shower, but we did wash each others’ bodies. She never went into details of her past, but when I was cleaning her back, I noticed a tattoo on her ribs. It was an iron heart, which I’d later learn was for survivors of sexual assault. Finally we turned the water off and dried off (she took my bathrobe, but it was hard to complain).

I laid down on the bed and just watched her. She didn’t have any makeup on, and her hair was in a towel-induced bun, but she was still the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen in life. I stood up to get dressed, walking over to my dresser for some socks and underwear. But before I could open a drawer, she kissed me and led me back to the bed before pushing me on my back.

She took the towel away from me, leaving me cold and naked before straddling me.

“I know you said you loved me yesterday, and I didn’t say it back,” she said. “But I love you too, Michael. I love you so much.”

With that, she took the towel from her hair and threw the robe on the ground, revealing her full body to me.

“I want to do this, and I want to do it right. All I ask is that you be patient with me.”

“Of course. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“Then sit back and let me do this.”

She pushed my head back to the mattress and started kissing down my body, eventually making her way to my hardening dick. She took it in her mouth and pumped with one hand, grabbing my balls with the other. It was methodical in nature, not missing an opportunity to edge me time and time again. I wanted nothing more than to just let myself feel orgasmic bliss with the girl I love, but she denied me that.

Nicole suddenly stopped and walked away from the bed, heading to my nightstand. She pulled out a condom wrapper, opened it and tossed the plastic in the bedside garbage can. She then returned to my throbbing dick and rolled the latex on before asking me to scoot up to the top of the bed. With that, she straddled me, rubbing her pussy all over my dick before squatting and taking it in her hands. She guided it towards her entrance and gradually lowered herself down before taking my entire length. We paused there for a few moments, then she started riding me slowly but with purpose.

It took a couple minutes for her to feel fully comfortable, but then she went to town. It’d be a while since I had sex, and that was as an inexperienced high schooler, but this was otherworldly. She rode me with a fire and a tenacity, at times making me think she’d break me in half. Her perky tits gained momentum, jumping up and down before I grabbed each of them with a hand and started playing with her nipples. Her force was dominating, and it wasn’t long before she came loudly and I soon followed by unloading into the condom inside her.

When she finally climbed off and laid next to me, it was as if my entire world had changed. The girl I loved was by my side, and we just had some amazing (at least in my eyes) sex. I couldn’t imagine life being any better. I kissed her and whispered in her ear, “I adore you,” before holding her in my arms and never wanting to let go.

The next 48 hours were like a dream. We laughed like we’d been doing as friends for over a month, but it included random kisses and a few other sex sessions. I felt bad that Scout kept having to be by himself while we went at each other in the bedroom, but we made sure to make it up to him with tons of playtime.

While we had only just started being involved romantically, by the time Monday afternoon rolled around, it felt like we’d been a couple for ages. That day, she wanted to go back to her apartment to check on the place and start packing. We still had a basketball team to cover, and the conference tournament was set to take place that Thursday. We rented another house with Stephanie and Madison, and if things were going to carry over from our weekend, it’d be hard to stay quiet with two other people in the house. But I was looking forward to the challenge, and I was looking forward to becoming closer with someone I loved with all my heart.

Then as we were set to drive that Thursday, the conference tournament got canceled due to COVID-19. That Friday, the NCAA Tournament was canceled. That Saturday, the campus was being closed down and essentially evacuated.

I offered Nicole and Scout to come with me back to my family’s house a few states away, and we’d ride out the pandemic there. She said she wanted to, but she was going to spend time with her mom and her stepsiblings for at least a little while. We pledged to keep in touch, and we did, talking on the phone for hours every day for the first couple weeks.

The phone calls became less frequent. The video chats died off completely. After a week of not talking, she told me she was back together with Brett. I pleaded my case with her, but she said that he was changed and she wanted to try it again with him. I planned to drive to her mom’s house and beg to be with her, but with the lockdowns and travel restrictions, I was trapped.

I didn’t hear from Nicole for 6 months before she called me out of the blue yesterday morning. She said she was doing well, and I was inclined to believe her, based on the sound in her voice. She graduated in December, and her and Brett are looking to buy a house. Apparently a proposal is in the works, prompting me to throw up in my mouth.

It was nice to catch up, but it left me wondering “what if” over and over, my efforts to move on having worked for a bit before she reached out. Still, it was nice to hear from her, and I’m genuinely excited at the prospect of her being fully happy. I just hope I made her happy in our brief time together.

So I sit here, once again a lonely college student, writing this confessional in between cheesy rom-coms. One day I’ll get another chance at love. But who knows when that opportunity will present itself?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ly33bw/mf_helping_my_best_friend_find_herself