[M]y experience [F]ucking my ex after getting cheated on

I posted this true story in another subreddit but I think it would be better for this sub. I edited somethings for clarity.

A few years ago I was in my mid-20’s and dating a girl who I fell for very, very hard. I was always interested in BDSM play in my 20’s. I dated a girl for several years from my late teens to early 20’s and she’d call me “daddy”. We engaged in consensual choking, spanking and name calling. I knew my behavior wasn’t exactly “vanilla”. But nothing turned me on more. The relationship ended with her cheating on me due to other issues.

I moved on, and like I said I fell for a girl very hard in my mid-20’s. I was head over heels but she was a frequent liar about her past sexual experiences for some reason. We both expressed interest in BDSM and kinks. We weren’t in a BDSM relationshp but I thought our sex was pretty hot and I’d often put her over my knee for spankings. She had a big round soft ass and no cellulite, it was smooth and I could hardly watch it bounce during sex without the feeling of having to cum. She was Hispanic and I thought she had a very pretty face, thought a bit thicker than I normally dated. But she was well balanced and had large breasts and ass with smooth skin. I loved her but her inability to form a meaningful relationship with me turned into lust.

Eventually she cheated on me. I couldn’t understand it. I am an alpha male, I am well-endowed and I treated her like a princess. I broke up with her, but she begged to stay with me, even showed up unexpectedly twice in places to beg for another chance. She literally offered to do *anything*. Despite wanting to dominate her and have my way I knew deep down, I could never be that guy. Or could I? The answer would be a little bit of yes and a little bit of no.

I got back with her, but truth is my heart was no longer there. I had never had casual sex in my life. Shortly after resuming the relationship I took out fancy hotel rooms to engage in BDSM activity. I felt at the time it would help me build back my confidence. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t.

I knew we would never last, and she did too but we had a silent agreement that fulfilling our fantasies would be a send off. She was moving away and why she wanted to spend her last weeks with me I’ll never know.

She was excited and so was I. I can be jealous but now that I no longer loved her I was able to live out things I will never live out again due to my jealousy. I have control of my jealousy, I am aware of it and I live in my life in a way now that won’t trigger it. But since I now viewed her as my fuck doll I knew all the secret fantasies I had I could fulfill. I could be dominate and demand things of her in the ways we’d only speak about.

We’d stay in fancy hotel rooms together for a few days at a time. I laid out her outdoor outfits, they consisted of thongs, dresses, low cut tops and push up bras. Her hotel outfits were all slave themed, skirts, bras, corsets and collars with leashes. She was my good little whore.

She crawled at all times in the hotel, addressed me as “Mister.” When she had to pee I’d have her spread her legs and I’d kneel down to watch. When she was a good girl I’d let her watch me and even let her hold it once. When she was a bad girl I’d spank her. I never was into objects and I really enjoyed spanking with my hand. I felt such an amazing release each time. I’d make her touch herself and deny her my cock as she begged for it. One time I stood in the hall of a hotel floor and would not enter until I could hear her moaning. The other guests must have hated us. I’d have her practice BDSM poses I found on online websites. I was going through a crash course of BDSM and didn’t know much. We engaged in light bondage with ropes such as tying her hands and feet together or handcuffing to bed posts.

We’d go out in public with her tits bulging out of her tops. I couldn’t believe how I was not jealous where as a month earlier I would be feeling rather jealous. On one windy day we were out and about I had her go in a port-a-poty and remove her thong under her dress. The day was windy and she’d struggle to hold her dress down. She was turned on but there were moments she was getting nervous. I had good instincts and when I could see she may have been too flustered I’d help her hold it down. One guy I think was on to us and struck up a casual conversation about sports. I quickly dismissed him. When we got back to our hotel room she told me she thinks she wanted to fuck her and though she never said it I knew she wanted to fuck us both at the same time.

Towards the climax of the experiences, I put on her leash and asked to take her outside. She agreed. I don’t think she believed I’d do it, and maybe I didn’t either. But sure enough we began walking down the hall with her on the leash. My heart was racing. I heard the safe word we agreed upon, was a bit relieved, and I took her back. I knew our time together was at its end so I had her tell me the truth (which she never fully did). I wanted to hear about her past sexual encounters she was too nervous to tell me in the past.

I could see she was nervous but I told her I’d masturbate to them. To this day I can’t explain why, I am not happy about being cuckolded, but I am fascinated with her slutty nature. As a dominate, I can’t understand why I wanted this.

She detailed her encounters and I made her use a different dildo for each man in each story she told me. I jerked off while sitting in a chair watching her on the bed. She loved it. I felt a lust of anger and excitement. One particular story got me riled up because she had sex with her ex in a park, something I couldn’t get her to do. It was a mix of excited jealousy and lust when I got up from the chair. I pulled out the dildo and told her shes my slut now. I did something I rarely ever did and entered her raw and banged her on the bed. I lasted about a minute or two because I was so turned on and already edging from jerking off. I remember thinking I hope I don’t impregnate her after I banged her onto the floor and I quickly pulled out and finished on her face. I instructed her to eat whatever didn’t land in her mouth with all of it with her fingers.

During all of this period I knew she was seeing the other man in between our meets. I believe that she had some love for me. She wanted a serious relationship but for whatever reason I think she didn’t see it in me. I think it was partially because she was moving away and I think she wanted to live out fantasies. I wish I knew more about the other man, I actually know who he is but I don’t know why she went for him. They’re relationship was purely physical and in some way I envied that. I could have been that for her had I known. In the end, we used to live out our kinks. I’ve had an appetite for BDSM ever since.

Becoming a dom for that short period of time made me feel better about myself. I was an alpha but when it came to falling in love I was a mushy romantic. All the females in my life tell me what a good guy I am. After my experience, I don’t know, maybe I’m not. Though I’ve since had loving relationships there’s always that dom. I don’t faun over women as much yet they have felt loved. When I have sex even with people I love, it almost always involves spanking, choking, hair pulling and name calling. After this relationship I went on to date multiple women in non-committed relationships for some time.

Most of our BDSM style play was verbal name calling, following rules (outfits, poses, speech), spanking and some humiliation (fingering her ass, watching her urinate, make animal noises, beg). Everything was consensual, agreed upon and I always asked if she enjoyed something. I will likely never go down this far of a road again, but being rough, spanking and verbal humiliation will now always be a part of me.

Feel free to AMA, this small part of my life was pretty interesting and there’s more stories to tell.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/9b2enu/my_experience_fucking_my_ex_after_getting_cheated

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