[MF] How My Cooking Skills Got Me Laid

In one of my previous stories, I referenced a barbecue where I received a promising text from a promiscuous friend. Well, while I was at that barbecue, something else happened.

Let’s run it back. My friend Jenna organized a going away barbecue for herself. She was moving out of the city and had a sick roof deck that she wanted to exploit one last time. She had never done it before and it honestly sounded like a lot of fun. But then Jenna texted me with a minor problem she had.

Jenna: Hey! I’m going to have a going away barbecue on my rooftop this weekend. Are you free?

Me: Yup! I’ll be there.

Jenna: Great! BTW do you know how to barbecue?

Me: Uh… Yes… Why?

Jenna: Okay cool! Nobody else does. Thanks for barbecuing! I’m sure it’ll be great :)

Let me be clear: at no point did I volunteer to cook for 30 people, many of whom would be strangers to me. But Jenna had been a good friend for many years, she was moving across the country, and at the end of the day, I didn’t mind it. We coordinated on a menu, she bought everything, and I got ready for the barbecue.

It was going to be pretty basic but I decided to make a few accoutrements (definitely looked up the spelling for that one) to elevate the Costco burgers and hotdogs Jenna was getting. I spent an entire afternoon caramelizing onions (just onions, oil, water, and a lot of time) and made a couple of different sauces. I was pretty impressed with the results and Saturday came quickly.

I got to Jenna’s rooftop early to prep my stations and get the fires going. Jenna had never turned a stove on in her life, let alone start a charcoal fire so it took us a little time to get familiar with everything. Soon, people started coming in and upon seeing someone manning the grill, I quickly got bogged down with orders.

The first hour or so wasn’t too bad. The weather was amazing, I was making burgers and hot dogs like a fiend, and I was being plied with beer by Jenna and her friends. I also got to talk to everyone at the party, which, contrary to popular (Reddit) belief, is what you’re SUPPOSED to do. Whodathunkit?

Most of the guests were pleasantly surprised at the slightly elevated party food and complimented Jenna on getting a professional chef to cater her last blow out. Jenna, to her credit, would correct them and just tell her friends that I was just a good friend who was willing to stand behind a grill and smell like smoke. That impressed her friends even more and it was an easy conversation starter.

Besides a couple of interesting conversations and my text convo (with Lindsay from my other story), the party was pretty uneventful. After about two hours though, I was getting pretty tired. I was putting some stuff away when a gaggle if Jenna’s “art” friends showed up after a gallery showing. Most of the girls dripped of bougie-ness and helped themselves to wine, cheese, and entitlement. But a couple were cool enough to talk to us “peasants”. One of whom was Arielle.

Arielle could both blend in and stand out in a crowd. She had a sophisticated air but also swore like a pirate with Tourette’s. She was petite yet curvy Asian girl, standing at only 5’3” but had noticeable cleavage, a tight waist, and a great ass. She knew it too. She slinked into the party in a tight LBD (guys, it’s good to know the lingo) a loose fitting boyfriend shirt and ankle high stilettoed boots. She had dark shoulder length hair, a button nose, and a constellation of freckles on her cheeks that were mesmerising. But her eyes are what got me. She had big brown eyes that poured into you as she looked at you. She oozed confidence but also an approachability that was comforting and attractive. I gulped as she approached.

Me: Hi. What can I get you? Chips and guac? Some cheese?
Arielle: Actually, I’m starving. Can you make a burger? Real burger please. None of that veggie shit.
Me: Of course. What would you like on it?
Arielle: Whatever the chef wants. I eat everything.
Me: And a drink? I have red or white wine…?
Arielle: Fuck that noise. Got a beer?

I was in love.

I told her I would bring it over to her when it was ready and she indicated where she would be (it was a big honking’ roof). I’d never hoped for a burger to cook faster. When it was done, I gave it the works: a little sprinkle of French sea salt, some white pepper, my painstakingly precious caramelised onions, some melted Swiss cheese, tomatoes, the best lettuce Costco could offer, and a little bit of my chipotle aioli. I brought it over to her and she left her conversation to accept my burger.

Arielle: Do you have any ketchup?
Me: Don’t worry. You won’t need it.

She raised her eyebrow at me skeptically and took a bite. She tried to stop herself but she couldn’t help it and smiled.

Arielle: I mean I’m STARVING but this burger’s… not bad.
Me: I’m here for the rest of the night if you want to know my secrets.
Arielle: Good to know.

She looked right into my eyes as she took another bite, this time not bothering to hide her grin. I went back to the grill, doing my best to hide my now raging boner. She ticked all the boxes for me. I wanted her. Bad.

I put down the fires and put all the food away. The combination of a hot grill, the summer heat, and half a dozen beers was taking its toll on me. I grabbed another drink and moved towards the party when Arielle approached me.

Arielle: Off the clock?

I took a second and imagined she said cock instead of clock before I responded.

Me: Yeah. Finally.
Arielle: Good. Come talk to me.

So we sat and we chatted. She was a dancer for a while (explains the butt and abs) but worked in art and spent a lot of time around fancy people. She insured high end art pieces and it wasn’t uncommon for her to handle pieces in the six or seven digit range. She loved the art but hated many of the people in that world. They cared more about optics and style than actually substantive conversation, something she missed. It wasn’t about the money or the status that attracted her to the job. She just liked pretty things.

Me: So tonight you get to hang out with us common folk?
Arielle: Yeah. I guess I’m slumming it with you tonight.

Before I could respond, a top 40 song played over the speaker system and Arielle grabbed my hand.

Arielle: Come dance with me!

I didn’t have a choice in the matter. We got up and she started dancing… on me basically. Me, in my sweaty t-shirt, shorts, and sandals, smelling like charcoal briquettes and hot dog water, suddenly became a pole for Arielle to grind on. Her dress probably cost as much as my month’s rent. She didn’t care. She was grinding on me like a cat on a scratching post. It was surreal. She turned to face me .

Arielle: I love it when a man knows his way around a kitchen.

Technically, it was just a grill but I didn’t care. I leaned down for a kiss. She reciprocated, emphatically. She tasted like cheap beer and burgers. It was like making out with all the good parts of Hank Hill. It was amazing. Her hands explored my lower body and my fingers traced the inside of the hem of her tight dress, going from her thighs to her ass. It was magnificent. I tried to make a suggestion to get things moving.

Me: Want to get out of here and get a drink somewhere else?
Arielle: Sure. How about your place?

She was biting her bottom lip and had her hands behind her back, staring me down cloyingly with those big eyes. I would have agreed to give her my Social Security number at that point. I took her hand, we kissed deeply, and hurriedly said bye to Jenna, who winked at me knowingly.

I hailed a cab and directed it back to my place. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other and she was rubbing my cock through my shorts all the way back to my apartment. We made it up to my place, fumbling as our tongues wrestled with each other. I turned on the light and she stopped.

Jenna: Whoa. Nice art.

I looked and realised that she was staring at a piece my brother left me when he moved. It was… modern? I guess?

Me: Yeah, I’ve had this piece for a few years.

It wasn’t particularly valuable or expensive but I knew a bit about the history of piece and rattled off some knowledge bombs I learned about the piece in case someone ever made a comment about it one day.

Today was that day.

I’m not going to tell you pervs what I said (for fear that someone may be able to
Identify it) but I will tell you her response after I stopped talking.

Arielle: I don’t think I’ve ever been so wet in my life.

******** DIRTY PART STARTS HERE******

I dragged her out of the living room. We made it into my bedroom at last. I flung her onto my bed, and tore off the shirt she was wearing, eliciting a giggle. I felt her nipples get hard through her dress while I nibbled her neck. She moaned and gripped my cock in her hands. I pulled the top of her dress down to reveal two perfect, perky breasts. Her dark nipples stood erect and the fact that she had already worked up a slick layer of sweat made it even hotter. She moaned into my ear as I took her nipples in my mouth, one at a time. I reached under the skirt of her dress and felt her soaking through her panties. She moaned even louder and I stood up to take her shoes off.

Arielle: Wait.

I froze. Uh oh. What did I do wrong? Maybe she thought she was “slumming” it too much? I had a slight moment of panic.

Arielle: I want you to fuck me with my heels on.

BING! Moment of panic over.

I hiked up her skirt, flipped her on her stomach, pulled off her panties so it just dangled on one of her ankles, and knelt down at the end of the bed before I started to eat her out from behind. I loved her smell, her taste, her feel. She was completely shaven and I heard her take a sharp breath when I buried my tongue into her pussy. It was exhilarating. She started moaning as I explored her sex with my tongue and fingers. She arched her back, popping her pussy and ass higher up to make use of the angle. She reached back and pulled my hair deeper into her pussy, moaning louder as she did. I was happy to indulge.

Arielle: Oh my god. Oh my god. I want- I want you to fuck me.

I stood up, put on the condom I snuck into my pocket when we were talking about art, and slid my cock right into her pussy. She gasped. As I mentioned in previous stories, I’m not particularly long at 5.5 inches but I’ve been complimented on my girth before. She seemed to enjoy it.

Arielle: Pull- unh- pull my hair.

I did as I was told, grunting like a primordial caveman as I did. I was reduced to pure animal instinct. And my instinct was to fuck this fancy art girl as hard as I possibly could.

She turned over, now facing up at me and slid her bunched up dress around her hips. I stood over her, rock hard and only using a handful of neurons. She reached down and guided my cock into her yet again. Even with the condom on, she felt warm, wet, and tight. It was incredible. I rested her legs on my shoulder as I fucked her with all my effort. My legs were exhausted from standing at a grill all day. My arms were sore from carrying ice and beers and flipping dozens of hotdogs and burgers. I was sweating like a hostage in July.

Didn’t matter. I was furiously fucking this girl I met about two hours before. And she seemed to love it.

I wish I could say that we had a marathon fuckfest and I was piledriving her like a porn star in his prime, trying out crazy positions called the Naughty Lotus or Monkey God’s Vengeance. But honestly, I think I barely lasted five minutes.

Me: I’m going to cum… I’m close…
Arielle: Yes… Cum on my tits… I want to feel your cum on me…

I pulled out, ripped the condom off, and beat my cock like it owed me money. I warned her right before I came and ended up shooting a load that started from her stomach and reached the base of her neck. This fucker had some serious velocity. Arielle giggled at the amount on her and could only utter a “wow” in between panted breaths.

I should have made a Jackson Pollack joke but I was honestly so tired that I didn’t think about it till later.

I collapsed on the bed, a panting, sweaty, smoky mess. Arielle kissed me and got up.

Arielle: I’m going to take a shower and wash this off if that’s okay.

I sort of nonchalantly waved in approval. She took off her shoes and slid her dress off, cum slowly dripping down her chest.

Arielle: Want to join me?

I thought about it for a second, sat up, and joined her in my shower. We washed each other, made out a bit, and she played with my cock some more but my body was spent. I gave her a towel, a comfy shirt and shorts, and offered to let her sleep at my place that night. She graciously accepted. We collapsed in bed and dozed off.

The next morning, I woke up and Arielle was curled up, asleep, breathing quietly next to me. I reached around her, grabbed my phone, and sent Jenna a text.

Me: Let me know if you ever want me to barbecue for you again :)

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/8he8jj/mf_how_my_cooking_skills_got_me_laid