How Robin Williams got me laid [MF]

So, while I have some down time before heading back home for the holidays and pressing my luck, I thought i’d share one of the memories I had mentioned in my first post, acting out an old Robin Williams joke on a few unsuspecting Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s from his 2003 special, I managed to find it on youtube [here](https://youtu.be/z8_eCl5y2EA?t=3407), but I recommend watching the entire thing, the man was truly a comedy god

At the behest of those involved, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the readers, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred (or as best as I can remember).

So, I had just moved into a new apartment, nice place that, with the travel I do for work, i don’t get to enjoy nearly as much as I should. When I was looking at the place I had run into a guy who lived on the floor below me, Joe, a nice guy, but he had mentioned that one of the other tenants, Billy, is a Jehovah’s Witness, and as such he always tries to bug the new residents into joining, and that he comes by until he gets bored, “and that fucker is dedicated, took 6 months before he left me alone”. Well, I wasn’t gonna let this one guy ruin this great place for me. So, after I moved in he came by once, alone, early in the morning, and went through his spiel about joining up. I politely told him “No Thanks” and he left. Even though I was only home for maybe 2 weeks that first month, he was still going strong after a month, and I can only assume that he came by when I wasn’t home, and took comfort at him waiting out there for no one.

The next week Billy managed to find me at home however, he wasn’t alone, he accompanied by the lovely Rachel. Looking at these 2 on the street, you’d assume that they were brother and sister, because the only other explanation of someone as beautiful as Rachel hanging out with Billy is that he hired her for the day. Rachel had on a plain white blouse and a respectively long skirt, but you could tell that she was hiding a killer body under that. This time, being a bit thrown by Rachel being there, instead of saying no thanks, I said i’d think about it, and they gave me a pamphlet and a card with their numbers on it if I had any questions. That spurred Billy on, and every day that week whenever he’d see me he’d ask if I had thought about it.

That weekend I mentioned to Joe that Billy was still coming around, and mentioned Rachel to him, and asked if she came by to him too. He said that Billy only brought Rachel by if he was having trouble, and she was like his secret weapon, and had helped him convert some former neighbors. Finally, I asked him what he did to scare Billy off.

“Oh, I had steak the night before, and had gotten my apron a bit bloody. I threw the apron on and grabbed a cleaver, and went ahead and answered the door. That bastard hasn’t come by since.”

Him saying that sparked the memory of that Robin Williams Special, about answering the door naked. I chuckled and told him I had the perfect idea and that i’d let him know if it worked. I set my alarm early for the next week, and looked for her to walk up. One Friday morning I saw her walking up to the building, and just sat and waited for them to knock. A few minutes later they were outside my door, and after removing my clothes and checking through the peephole to make sure she was with him, I opened the door to the usual “Have you found Jesus yet Andy?”, and without missing a beat replied “No, can you help me look for him”. Now, it took them a few seconds to realize that A: I was being sarcastic, and B: I was butt naked. After their sudden gasps, Billy started to, well, I guess berate me and come as close to cursing me out as he could, along with damning me to an eternity in hell, I don’t really know, I wasn’t focused on him. My focus was on Rachel, whom was blushing uncontrollably while averting her gaze, at first. After a few seconds I could see her stealing a few glances back at my cock, followed by her face only getting redder. By the time Billy had gotten to the damning me to hell part of his tirade, she had turned back to me fully, not even trying to hide her glancing over my body. Now, I’ll be honest, I’m not some superman body builder type, I’m in decisively average shape, but she wasn’t looking at my pecs or biceps (or lack thereof). By the end Billy’s tantrum, she was full on staring at my cock, biting her lip while doing so. Before I, and she, knew it, Billy was storming off, and called back “Come on Rachel, leave the sinner” which snapped her out of whatever was running through her mind and she turned to follow him. I stepped out into the hallway and asked “Are you sure you don’t want to come in? Billy didn’t respond, or even flinch, and just continued around the corner, but when Rachel came to the corner she turned back and stared at me for a few more seconds before Billy pulled her around the corner and out of sight.

I, of course, went back in, got dressed, and went about my day. The next day I saw Billy in the courtyard in passing and said hi to him, and he gave me a look like he was trying to send me to hell with his mind, and stormed off. Joe saw this, and came over and asked me what that was about, and I told him what I did and Billy damning me to hell. After he stopped laughing (which took a while), he high-fived me and went on his way, and I went back up to my place to set in motion part 2 of my plan. With the card Rachel gave me the other day, I called her up with the intention of *apologizing* for the other day and taking her out for coffee as a sign i was sorry. She was initially a bit hesitant, but reluctantly agreed to the coffee. After I apologized we got to know each other, and after a while I turned the conversation back to that morning visit with a joke about Billy.

“You know, while Billy was yelling, I couldn’t help but notice you stealing more than a few glances at me, *down there*” I said, trying to avoid scaring her with any *”adult language”*

Her face turned red as she said “Oh god, I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean to, but at first it seemed like you were, well, wearing a prosthetic to try and make it more humorous…”

“Well” I replied while laughing, “that’s honestly the first time I’ve ever heard a woman make that assumption before…” We were both laughing at this point before I added “So, what did you think after further inspection?”

“Well…after sneaking more than just a passing glance, I think it’s an extremely well done and realistic fake.

“Oh, really now? That’s what you think?” I asked

“Yes, You must have fooled quite a number of young ladies with that prop” she said matter of factly

“Ok, you got me, it’s a fake. You saw through my charade.” I said half-heartedly “If you want, we can go back to my place and I can show you how it works” I added jokingly

“Well…” Rachel said “Normally I wouldn’t dream of it, but this way I can tell Billy that it was a fake, and maybe he can forgive you like I have”

I was a bit shocked at her response, mainly because I honestly didn’t think this would work, but I went with it. We left the coffee shop and walked back to my place, giving me time to think of what to do. By the time we got back to my building and up to my floor, I had told her that I’d go into the bathroom and put it on, then come out, and she’d get to examine it up close to find out where I ended and the *prosthetic* began, something she reluctantly agreed with. So, I go into my bathroom and take my pants off, waited a bit to account for “putting it on” and came back out, walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, and let her examine it. She sat up and just started looking at it close up, muttering “where’s the seam”. Eventually I told her she could touch it if she wanted. She hesitantly brought a hand up and grabbed near the base and started pulling up, apparently trying to pull the prosthetic off, to no avail. She then moved her hand up a bit and tried again, again to no avail. The third time she moved her hand up and grabbed the tip of my now semi-erect cock, and pulled up again, and she had a bit of a worried look on her face, as if the truth was suddenly dawning on her.

She quickly removed her hands and stood up, looking right at me and said “So, this isn’t a fake, is it?

“No, no it isn’t” I said with most likely a huge shit-eating grin across my face, and added “and it isn’t even fully erect yet”

I don’t know what came over her, what switch flipped, what was going on in her head, but as soon as I finished that sentence she kissed me, passionately, wildly, like we had been together for years. We collapsed on the couch, lips still interlocked, her on top of me, and were making out like 2 horney teenagers. While this was going on she was simultaneously grinding on my cock, bringing it to full mast. I then reached up and undid her blouse, revealing a very nice set of perky tits in a white lace bra, which soon joined the blouse on the floor. I took turns squeezing one and sucking on the other, which drove her wild. Somehow just between me playing with her tits and her grinding on my cock she was close to coming right there, so instead of that I picked her up and brought her into my bedroom, threw her down on her back, and pulled her to the edge of the bed to remove her skirt and panties. I climbed on top of her and asked her if she wanted me to put a condom on. She said “Fuck no, I want to feel all of that, and i’m on the pill anyway” As she was saying this I was lining my cock up and as soon as she finished talking, sunk in about half way and watched as her eyes went wide and she started to scream, but I lowered my head and muffled her with my own mouth. I started rocking back and forth, easing myself in and out of her, when no more than a minute later she arched her back and came, hard, her tight pussy clamping down on my cock like a vice. When I could feel her relinquishing her grip, she managed to get out between pants “You are truly…blessed by god….with such a magnificent penis”.

I whispered into her ear “And i wasn’t even using all of it” and sunk in as far as she could take me. She winced and pulled herself up a bit and said “Damn, not so much. I had better take control this time” and rolled over on top of me and sat there for a bit, looking at my cock before getting over the head and sinking in. She sunk down until she felt comfortable, which was only about an inch from the base, and started slowly rising up and sinking back down. Needing something to do with my hands, I reached up and grabbed her tits and started playing with them, which she apparently liked, and showed her like by speeding up how quickly she was bouncing on top of me. After a while of this I could sense she was close to cumming again, so I took my hands off of her tits, grabbed her waist and speed things up a bit. She let out a scream as she started spasming on my cock pistoning in and out of her. I kept up this pace and fucked her through this orgasm and when she came back down from that high, I lifted her off of me and got behind her. She was laying flat on the bed, face down, when I grabbed her hips and pulled her back up on her knees, taking a second to admire her fantastic ass. She turned her head back and just looked at me with this sweet, innocent look on her face, and kept looking back as I sheathed my cock back in her soaking wet pussy. That sweet, innocent look quickly faded away as she buried her head in my pillows to muffle her moans and I was going faster and faster from behind. She came and came and came again in this position, to the point that it seemed like she had passed out. I stopped moving and called out her name a couple of times, after no response I brought a hand up and spanked her. This caused her head to shoot up and her pussy to clamp down on my cock like a vice.

“Oh Fuck” she moaned “Do that again”

So I resumed fucking her from behind with occasional swat on the ass, each one accompanied by a loud moan and her pussy getting tighter and tighter. After a few more minutes of this I began to feel that urge building in my balls, and told her that “I’m about to cum, where do you want it?” All she did was look back and open her mouth, and that was all that I needed to pull out and climb off of the bed as she followed suit and got on her knees. She looked up at me with the most innocent look on her face as I began to cum, the first few strands got away from me and hit her face, but then she took the tip of my cock in her mouth and swallowed the rest. After I finally finished she let my cock go and looked up at me, saying “Wow, it even tastes good too”. I jokingly added “You missed a bit *here*” motioning to her face and she started scooping it up with her fingers and eating it too, which honestly surprised me considering how shy she was going into this. When she finished her meal she got up on the bed and just laid there for a while, processing what had just occurred, and I joined her.

I asked her when the last time she had sex was, and she said “Not since college, since before I became a witness, so a few years. Even then, nothing like that”

“Like what?” I inquired

“So primal…so explosive….so exhilarating, and I’ve never finished like that before”

“The facial?”

“Ya, before it was mostly nervous college guys and they always wore a condom, but after seeing what you were packing, I had to see what it looked like, erupting all of that cum.

“So, that was your first time doing that?”

“Ya, and eating it afterwards too. It tasted better than I thought it would.”

After we laid there a bit longer she got up, got dressed, and left. It was about a week later Billy finally found me and gave me an earful, again. Apparently he had been trying to “woo” Rachel (his word, not mine), and after her encounter with me she broke things off with him and the church, even going as far as taking a job in another state. He of course just thought this was all from that naked morning encounter, and had no idea of what else happened, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him what happened that day. I ended that with “Sometimes god has other plans”, which was apparently enough for him to run up and tackle me. I threw him off with ease and hit him once in the gut and he collapsed (wasn’t even that hard). He shockingly later went to the landlord and tried to get me evicted, saying I “assaulted” him, and since he lived there longer shouldn’t have to live with “the likes of him”. The landlord called me down to his office and asked us both what happened, me telling the truth and him telling some farce about how I cornered him and broke a rib, trying to get him to stop coming by my apartment, he even told him about when I answered the door naked. When he was done the landlord started laughing and turned his laptop around, showing the security camera footage of what really happened, exactly as I said it did, and told him he had 30 days to find a new place to live, and gave me a copy of the video “for shits and giggles”

As for Rachel, she friended me on Facebook a few days after Billy moved and I filled her in on what happened. She even asked to see the video, and laughed her ass off watching it. We’ve kept in touch now and then, and judging by these conversations and the rest of her Facebook feed, she has long since abandoned being a Jehovah’s Witness, going out to clubs at least once a week and dressing a lot more provocatively. She keeps asking if I’m gonna be in her neck of the woods anytime soon, but nothing has come of that yet. I’ll make sure to write it up if the stars ever align and we get that “Round 2”

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/7k69fo/how_robin_williams_got_me_laid_mf