Okay, I’m bored and that last one was fun to talk about, so I’ll tell one more, then, probably disappear forever. This is about, maybe, the most bizarre thing that’s ever happened to me in a sexual situation. It’s kind of a mic dropper, so anything after this would just be lame and silly.
When I [26, at this time] first moved to the city I currently live, through friends, I hooked up with this guy, Jeff [I think he was 29/30]. He’s not a booty call, per se, but if we’re around each other after 9 PM, we tend to make it home together. Now, Jeff is an awful human being. A little misogynist. Obnoxious. Kind of a pathological liar. No real employment. Trust fund baby. I don’t know if he was joking or not, but I think he voted for Trump. But dude can fuck. There’s just something when we get together that it’s like fireworks and shit. I would never date him in a million years. I don’t even let him kiss me. I just want him to stick his dick in me and put his mouth on my nether regions. He’s tons of fun in the sack. He’s even responsible for my one and only MMF.
But that’s not the story…
There was this stretch, where I wasn’t dating anybody, that I saw a lot of Jeff. For about 4 months, we’d wind up having sex like 3-4 times a week. After a little while, he kept suggesting we have a threesome with another woman. For the record, I don’t feel anything sexual for women. Sure, I’ve experimented. I love you women. You have beautiful bodies and I love watching you get fucked sometimes, but it doesn’t do anything for me sexually. So of course, I told him no. But he persisted. Finally, I relented by telling him, if he could find a couple to play with, where I found the dude attractive, then sure. We’d swap or something, but no girl on girl.
Not 24 hours goes by and he’s like, “Oh, I got us a date with another couple tomorrow. It’s just drinks but if we’re into them, we’re gonna go back to their place and fuck.” I took a look at the guy, very cute, clean cut, seemed harmless. Asked us to be tested, which we did, the following afternoon. Yes, I made Jeff pay for it.
We went out the next night, they’re fine. Kind of bland conversation, but I’m up for the experience. We get to their place, the three of them do a little blow. I’m not gonna judge. I’ve done it in the past, but it’s not really my thing. As for the sex, it wasn’t bad, but everything was so fucking sterile.
Sure, I hate condoms, but I’ll use them. I think there have been 3 times in my entire sex life, where I’ve been less than safe, whether that be condoms or tested or trusted partners. But this couple took it to a different level. We had been tested that afternoon, then condoms for intercourse AND oral. That was odd. And to top it off, they didn’t have a lick of hair on their bodies. Everything below their necks was waxed. It was an odd experience sucking this guy’s dick with a rubber and no pubes. It felt like sticking a dildo in your mouth. He was a pretty decent fuck. Nothing special. He was a trained masseur and massaged the ever loving shit out of my tits. Now, that was super-hot.
It was insanely sexy, though, watching Jeff fuck her. She was really into it. My attraction to watching was aided by the fact I’ve never felt anything emotional for Jeff. It was nice to detach myself from the situation and sort of take it in and appreciate how he fucks me. Which is why I was a little apprehensive when they suggested going to separate rooms. It wasn’t out of any anxiety of something bad happening, just I didn’t really need to fuck the other guy alone. But I agreed. Everything worked out. I didn’t regret it. He was really nice. They were still going at it, when we were done, so we chatted in the living room a bit. Smart guy. Good head on his shoulders.
When Jeff came out of his room, he had this really mischievous look on his face. Later in the car, he told me how they went to their rooms and she started to blow him with the condom on, then took it off with her teeth, and was just like, “Oops.” Then, they just sort of forgot to put one on, while they fucked, and she got really kinky about them fucking bare. Like she told him, she wasn’t on the pill and she wanted him to cum inside of her. I told him he was full of shit, but he insisted that was the truth and that her husband knows about it. I didn’t know what to think. It was already a most unique situation that’s happened to me sexually, so I wasn’t totally surprised.
The following week, we got word they wanted to meet up again. I agreed. I had an okay enough time. I really enjoyed watching Jeff fuck. Let’s see if we can build some chemistry or something. Okay, they made us get tested again. Like, come the fuck on. We just had sex with you guys, last week. I swear the only person I’ve fucked is Jeff. But lo and behold, we got tested. Jeff paid, again. We went over. Same thing, again. They did blow, again. A little bit of group play, again. Then, we went to our respective rooms.
So me and this guy are alone together. I don’t what compels me to do it, but I pulled off his condom and stuck his cock in my mouth. He pulls away from me and looks at me horrified. He throws his head and his hands and does this psychotic “No! No! No! No!” thing. Then, he goes over to the television and punches it. Oh my god, it was so fucked up. He yells at me to get the fuck out, so I got my clothes on, while he goes over to their room and pounds on the door for Jeff to get the fuck out of his house. I walk out from my room and on my way out, I catch the guy shouting nonsensical things, while he’s standing at the kitchen sink, washing his cock with steaming water. It becomes clear to me that I had just upset a coked-out germophobe.
I told Jeff about it on the way home and he laughs his ass off, telling me, “Oh, I totally bullshit that story about me and his wife.”
Fucking Jeff.
Later, guys.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/65yqkr/group_how_to_piss_off_a_cokedout_germophobe
Well that story was certainly wild, I’ll give you that