[Group] How to piss off a coked-out germophobe…

Okay, I’m bored and that last one was fun to talk about, so I’ll tell one more, then, probably disappear forever. This is about, maybe, the most bizarre thing that’s ever happened to me in a sexual situation. It’s kind of a mic dropper, so anything after this would just be lame and silly.

When I [26, at this time] first moved to the city I currently live, through friends, I hooked up with this guy, Jeff [I think he was 29/30]. He’s not a booty call, per se, but if we’re around each other after 9 PM, we tend to make it home together. Now, Jeff is an awful human being. A little misogynist. Obnoxious. Kind of a pathological liar. No real employment. Trust fund baby. I don’t know if he was joking or not, but I think he voted for Trump. But dude can fuck. There’s just something when we get together that it’s like fireworks and shit. I would never date him in a million years. I don’t even let him kiss me. I just want him to stick his dick in me and put his mouth on my nether regions. He’s tons of fun in the sack. He’s even responsible for my one and only MMF.

[FM] How dirty panties led me to sleeping with my urologist

Back in college, there was this guy I [23, at this time] hooked up with a couple of times. Things didn’t work out on a sexual/romantic level, but we got along great and became friends. Still are. He lived by himself in this great, two-bedroom house, cheap rent, close to campus, but it was also on the other side, away from the rest of the madness, so the neighborhood was quiet. It was owned by this sweet, conservative couple who lived across the street. They were really strict about noise and parties, though.

I loved this house, which is why I got in touch with the renters when my friend graduated. I thought it’d be the perfect place to spend my last year. Only issue was it was my entire budget. There’d be no extra money after rent and utilities. I’d never been much for roommates. Never had one in my life. Only child to dorms to apartments. Had no interest in starting now. So I agreed and was determined to make it happen somehow.