Happy Valentines Day (tomorrow)!
My first erotic short story will be free on Kindle for five days starting on Valentines Day. It features a strong, confident woman who seduces a handsome young man in a busy shopping mall. She gets off on discreet public sex with strangers, so all the action happens in the mall, plus a few extras in other public places.
So far it's had only one review, but that was for four stars, so I'm feeling good about writing more. I'm hoping that making this first one free for five days will get me more feedback, and help improve my writing.
Okay, the freebie starts Valentines Day and runs five days (or free to borrow on Kindle Unlimited at any time):
Going Down (Jane's Erotic Adventures, Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SPBE1UG
P.S. I asked the mods before posting, so please don't down vote this as spam.
Thanks!
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/2vtjho/free_kindle_erotica_0214_0219
Hey! I just published my first erotic short story as well! Free from 2/16 to 2/18. I just downloaded yours and I’ll leave you feedback here or on Amazon after I read it… hope you can do the same, but no worries if you can’t! My story is here [Expat Jack Episode 1](http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TMLK0JO/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb) Fictional account of an Expat in China and all of his sexual adventures. I have a whole series planned and mostly written already! I also took the cover photo and hopefully will get to take a few more of my beautiful Chinese friends out here. Good luck (to us both)!
[Here is the mobile version of your link](https://amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00TMLK0JO?qid=1415866438&sr=1-1&tag=as_mi_tl-20&ie=UTF8)
I don’t have Kindle Unlimited, so can’t download the whole thing (without cash), but double check your blurb. There’s a typo/awkward bit you’ll want to fix: "…as he prepares to leave the his old life behind." Also, be careful with dubious consent. I’m new to KDP, but I’ve heard accounts can be banned if they cross a line. Good luck!
Agh thanks! I’ll fix it! It’s very very tame dubious consent, maybe can’t even be considered that. Thanks for the help/info! Haven’t had a chance to read your book story yet, hopefully will tonight. Looking forward to it. :)
Yeah, if not critical to the story, I’d ditch the consent reference in the blurb. No sense triggering an Amazon filter. Let me know what you think.
Far from critical! Made that change, and the other one in the blurb. Definitely is a learning process so I appreciate that info about dubcon… hadn’t read that before! Thanks! And yep as soon as I get off work today I’ll read your story! I’ll have time tonight :)
Hi again! Just finished your story. I honestly thought it was pretty. I liked the characterization of Jane, she was realisticly written and her no strings attached mentality was pretty hot. The story turned me on a bit, I know as a man I’m not the target audience, but it got me hard haha… so that was a job well done ;) My only criticisms are a) the formatting to me was a little weird. I don’t know if it was stylistic choice or what, but the non-indented paragraphs and big space between each paragraph made it seem kind of stilted at times. And b) sometimes repeated words, even in the same sentence, made it a little less enjoyable to read. There was one particular sentence that stood out to me, it was something like "She towled off with the towel" (sorry don’t have my ipad with me now to double check). Sometimes I’ve run into the same issues as well when I’m writing, so that kind of thing sticks out to me. Hope that my criticisms aren’t too harsh. Just my honest feedback! Hope you can read my story and give me the same! I’ll try to follow more of Jane’s Adventure’s, look forward to seeing what other trouble she gets herself into :)
Thank, I very much appreciate the feedback and will look for the problem sentence, as well as read it again for other similar issues. I’ll check the formatting too. I thought KDP was supposed to automatically indent the paragraphs, and the break between was supposed to be a single blank line. Not sure if word added extra as I saved the file. Your criticisms are far from harsh. Anything that stands out as a problem, is something I’ll want to address. A reader should be able to immerse themselves in a story without stopping to figure out a typo or some other little issue. Thanks again!
You’re welcome! I posted a question about dubcon a while ago. The replies are what made me suggest being careful: http://www.reddit.com/r/eroticauthors/comments/2uw1pn/question_about_dubcon/
Pretty *good, sometimes my brain moves faster than my fingers type. I was reading on Ipad I don’t know if that affects the formatting at all as opposed to a Kindle device. I could screenshot it and send you an email or something if you’d like to see how it looks for me. We are both trying to figure this out as we go, good to have help anywhere we can get it.
I’ll check it out on the pad. No need to screen cap, you’ve helped more than enough already. Thanks so much for all the feedback! BTW, that other sub we’re both on is really pretty awesome. Spend time there. The information and no frills feedback is great. It’s helped my writing and my sales.
Awesome, I’ll check it out more! I’ve been so busy writing and reading and working and photography and.. so much stuff haha, no time to reddit really! But I know it will definitely help to improve my writing and hopefully improve my sales! Hope you can check out my first story too, and let me know what you think! It’s freeeee :D
I read your story. The setup, characterization and writing style are all pretty good, but I found the ending a little sudden. In reading, I felt like the quick handjob scene, the mention of the change in his sex life and the blowjob in the car were supposed to set the stage for the real deal, an in depth sex scene to come. When it ended on the flight, it felt cut short. There were also two awkward bits in the car: 1. Using the word "fellate" rather than "suck" comes across a little clinical. 2. "I’m cumi, I’m gonna cum!" Did you edit this and not delete the part you were changing? Jack also comes across as a bit of a dick. I’m not sure if that’s intentional. The handjob scene was the bigger turn-on, as far as the sex goes. You take the reader more into the heads of the characters in that one, his through what he’s thinking and hers through what she’s saying. I hope this helps, and take it with a grain of salt. I’m new to this too.
One more free day left.
I was wrong, my five day promo ends at midnight tonight, so get your sexy smut now before time runs out! ;)
Hi thanks for the feedback! You are right that in depth sex scene never came, I had originally written this story and episode 2 as one story, but the length kind of spiralled out of control. From reading a lot about how best to market these kind of short stories is it should be around 4-5k words. My first draft of this story was up to around 9000 words, so I split it into two parts. Now with revisions to each of those 2 the total is a little under 8k for both stories. Maybe I should have kept it at that length, or called this a "prologue" or released them both at same time or… I don’t know! Lol Just trying to figure it all out as to what is best. Yeah Jack is kind of a dick. My goal is to flesh him out a lot, and make him grow and be a better human being based on his experiences in China. 1. Thanks! I agree… My first few drafts were way to clinical, and as I continue to write I’m trying to find a good balance between "flowery" language, clinical language, and just direct fucking and descriptions. Writing is tough! But it’s been fun! 2. Yeah not sure what happened there. Gotta fix it. Thanks for your feedback! It really helps a lot!
My first couple were in the 4-6k range, but my latest was well over 12k. I’m waiting for Amazon to make it live, but I’ve been told longer stories can sell better and last longer. Makes sense. In any case, go visit that other sub where dirty authors hang out. So much help!