So, I haven't written in a while and, holy crackers, it's been a whirlwind four months! Big, BIG, changes in my life.
This man, such a handsome man, sent me a message on Plenty of Fish. He wanted to meet and go for a walk. In my quest for a connection with a smart, cute man, I've come across a few possiblities. But this guy… there was something about him.
We walked and talked and basically really enjoyed getting to know each other. I felt the heat right away. His confidence and build was magnetic.
Now, I should tell you that he's quite a bit younger than I am, but you would not be able to tell just by looking at us. And his air of authority makes me feel that he is older than I am!
During our first meeting, he explained to me that he wasn't looking for the typical dating relationship. In fact, he explained that he'd be dating other people. What he wanted from me was "pure fucking." (!!!)
He said that he found me very physically attractive – everything about me – and had been looking for someone like me to use whenever he wanted.
This was such a new concept for me. All my friends, my family, everybody seems anxious for me to find a boyfriend and a steady relationship since my divorce. And, of course, I've been lonely for that type of attention, too.
I told him that I would need to think about it. He was very understanding. As he walked me to my car, he kept his hand on the small of my back in a way that made me feel both led and owned. And I like it. He kissed me once. Forcefully. I really like that.
For the next few days, I couldn't get my mind off of him. And he persisted in texting me – letting me know he wanted me.
I thought long and hard about what I might be capable of. Could I sustain this type of relationship?
I asked him to meet me for dinner. That night I shared iwth him that I'd like to try it. I wanted to be his toy to use and fuck as he pleased. I could tell he was really happy with my choice!
Since that night, my life has become a 24/7 on-call service for this man's every need. I never know when or how he will want me, but I'm always ready. He plans adventures and sends me instructions and I carry them out to the letter.
And the sex – OMG – I'ver never been stretched and enjoyed and explored more by any man. Ever!
It's so strange to have such an intimate connection with someone who seems to have no desire to know anything else about me or my life other than how wet he can make me. Or how often he can make me cum. (A lot!)
I feel like there is so much more to me that he would find compelling and interesting and intriguing and attractive. But that isn't part of our deal. And our deal includes such amazing sex that I am just going with it!
I'm not sure how long I can continue. It's so hard to know what to tell (or not tell) my firneds, but I know that right now, I don't want it to stop!
The little I know about him outside of our carnal adventures is very appealing to me. But I'm not really allowed into that part of his life.
I struggle with feeling used – but I use him, too, in a sense. I use him to make me feel wanted and desired and filled! He's had me dress up and dress down. He's filmed me and whipped me and tied me up. His most recent adventures included a threesome with a fairly well-endowed man. (!!! – me in a threesome! It was incredible! Filled in every space! I want to try it again!)
He, though, is the biggest I've ever been with. It's like a drug… I can't get enough!
We'll see what happens next – if I can keep my need for more under control and just keep enjoying this incredible ride for as long as I can.
Please see sister post: http://www.reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/2uzo05/celibate/