Lady Jennifer now came in. "A word of warning though. A real leader is also someone who does not bend to the desires of his followers for the purpose of keeping them as followers. People who do that are not even rulers, they're called politicians, and as far as we are concerned, they are worse than rulers. At least with a ruler you know where he stands.
"What this means is that we can easily tell whether a conflict between you and your husband is because he is a poor leader or whether you are a poor follower.
"Getting back to our relationship to God. Through our submission to men, men learn what submission to God means. Men need to see that they benefit the most when their wives are free to speak their minds, and develop into the strongest, most capable women they can be, just as God benefits the most by each of us developing into the best people we can be. If men don't believe this about women, then they are forced to consider some very terrible things about their relationship with God.
"On the other side, just as men need to enable, and motivate their women to be the best that they can be, we women must prepare our homes to welcome our men into them, as we all must prepare our hearts to welcome God into it.
"Keep in mind this is not about you preparing your home to welcome your man. It's about we preparing our homes to welcome our men. It's a collective thing, like fellowship at church. You should not worship alone, nor should you feel you are alone in your relationship with your husband.
"We prepare our homes by making them sanctuaries for them. Our homes are not a place where demands are made of men. If there is work to be done that you are not capable of doing, that's my responsibility. I'll make sure it gets done. We want our men to always look forward to going home, and not worry about chores or 'honey do' lists.
"Just as God should not be looked upon as some sort of 'wish granter,' men should not be valued by how much they can help around the house. We want our men to know they are welcome in our homes for no other reason than the leadership they provide, just as God is welcomed in our hearts for the same reason.
"I know many of you a very skeptical of what I just said, but take a look around this country. How many real leaders do you see? Considering how little our society values leadership, I'm surprised when I come across any at all. Leadership needs to be seen as something worthy of aspiring to.
"Something else you need to keep in mind, which any feminist would never consider, is that men are not irrelevant. They are not going to climb under rock just because you have no role for them as men. Men are very dynamic creatures. If we don't foster their desire to be a leader, you will wind up with men who want to be rulers, because that does not require your approval.
"From my perspective, men actually have the harder role. They must learn to respect our submission, and not be tempted to take advantage of it. Through this experience, both men and women learn that men are the ones that are harmed the most when they take this for granted.
Lady Jennifer paused for a moment, then looked over at her husband and said, "I know it's very late, but do you think they are ready for us to cover how all this relates to rape?"
"I think so," replied Lord Jacob. "This is probably a good time."
He then continued, "One of the things we didn't expect to make a connection, along with the many things that were connecting on this line of reason, was the desire we men had with raping women. Like the line from the U2 song '…don't believe in forced entry, don't believe in rape, but every time she passes by, wild thoughts escape…'
"From as young as I can remember, I was always plagued with desires of raping women. I have always considered myself a strict follower of Christ, and these desires troubled me greatly. I knew they were wrong, but I could never banish them from me. I even seriously considered entering a Catholic seminary, even though my heritage is Chaldean.
"In our open and honest process of discovery, I learned I was not alone. Every man that I worked with also admitted to having the same problems. What we eventually came to understand was not that it's OK to rape women, but lumping together things that should be OK with rape that had led us to these desires.
"My family was very progressive, especially from where we came from in Iraq. My father went to Harvard University, and when he came home he packed up my family and we immigrated to the United States. As such I was taught from a young age that it was wrong to dominate women. It was un-American to do such a thing.
"In a way, this is true. You should not dominate women as a person. This suppresses them. Yet sexually dominating women, who want to be sexually submissive to you, is not wrong. Believing it to be wrong places it in the same category as rape. Once these two are together, they then become indistinguishable.
"Now that I understand that what I really want is to sexually dominate a receptive submissive woman, my rape fantasies are finally gone."
Lady Jennifer now spoke, "I want to add support to this from a woman's perspective. As we have come to learn, women have the same problem from the other side. We also had fantasies we could not control, but they are about being raped. Understanding how we have a deep seeded desire to be sexually submissive has also freed us from them, just as this understanding has freed men from theirs.
"Yet there is more to it for women. Without understanding the true nature of our sexual submission, we run the danger of allowing that submissiveness to take over other areas of our lives; areas that should not be controlled by others, such as defining who we are as a person.
"If you girls want to know the single most important thing that has allowed me to be the confident and decisive women you see before you, it's my understanding of how deeply my desire to sexually submit to this man next to me is. My complete and total sexual abandonment to him has freed me in all other areas of my life.
"Through these experiences, like none we have covered so far, we have learned that there is a powerful and pervasive duality or dichotomy to life. And this duality is not there by accident. By learning from these experiences we have added a richness to life that we never would have thought possible.
"So as you learn through your experience in this kingdom about the yin and yang of life, if you see one side as having an advantage over the other, then you really are not thinking properly about what is going on here, and in life in general. This is the true purpose of this kingdom. It is not about living some fantasy, but about discovering the true nature of life.
"To guide this discovery of yours, we in this kingdom have what we call the gender rules. They exist to make you think about the duality of life. At first they appear to give an advantage to one side over the other, but do they really?"
"As you have all been told, none of this is written down anywhere, so pay attention.
"Rule number one: No man can be compelled to have sex. All sexual acts performed by men are done so of their own choice. Women, on the other hand, are compelled to engage in sex regularly.
"Rule number two: No man can engage in a public display of male homosexual sex or male sexual submission. Women, on the other hand, engage in both dominant and submissive sex, in public, and with both men and women.
"Now for some clarification to rule two. First, the meaning of public means that if there are more than two people in the room then it's not private; public does not mean outside of the kingdom. Outside of the kingdom we must all appear to be moral upstanding people, at least by the terms the general pubic sees it.
"Note that there is no prohibition between two men having sex with each other, they just can't do it in front of anyone.
"I like to refer to this rule as the redundant rule. Since we believe you can't have sex unless there is a dominant and a submissive, then a rule against male sexual submission already precludes male homosexuality.
"These two rules are the big ones, but there are a lot more little ones also. Things like women cannot drink hard liquor, but men are required. Women cannot smoke tobacco, but men are required to smoke cigars. Although, men are not allowed to roll those cigars, women must roll them.
"Some rules don't actually exist; they are just there by default. Take for example a rule created by our Queen. She has stated that any married woman can sexually dominate any other woman — married or not. Men have caught on to this, and use it. Any man underneath my husband cannot sexually dominate me without my husband's permission, but they know their wives can.
"What this leads to is married men using their wives to have sex with me. As long as he doesn't touch me, and the wife initiates a domination of me before I do of her, then I am literally at the man's disposal.
"Yes, there are quite a bit more rules, but you will learn them as you go along. Although, ignorance of the rules will not prevent you from being punished if you violate them. And don't even think about complaining about this. There is nothing written down about the real rules of life, and if you don't learn them, you will suffer the consequences of it. What we do in this kingdom is nothing more than acknowledge this by enforcing it.
"And speaking of punishment… Before we can move onto to the demonstrations we have planned to finish this evening with, I want to get Ally's punishment out of the way.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/2pz98t/next_generation_christian_kingdom_ch03_marcia