M4F Second attempt after critique. Let me know

Your heart rate runs a little faster than usual as you sit on the bed waiting quietly, mind racing to places you want to ignore as you try to keep a level head. The sound of the door swinging open makes you jump a little as i back through it carrying our drinks, the only sound around is the gentle clinking of the ice in the glasses. Pleasantries exchange as I hand you the cool glass and sit beside you, watching your lips moisten as they meet with the glass, leaning closer without even thinking about it and having to snap back to reality before you realise. I take a sip to try and cool my thoughts down, next to a woman like yourself though I may as well have been tackling a wildfire with an ice cube. Awkwardness passes as I feign normality, setting up a standard horror movie as we start to get comfortable. I barely know whats happening in the movie, too aware that you're here next to me, wanting too much, needing to kiss bite and lick. The sound of eerie musics grows louder until you jump with fear puling my mind from the gutter back to the bedroom, your arm clinging onto mine, i seize the opportunity and pull you in close, sitting you between my legs and wrapping my arms around you, resting my head on your shoulder as we continue to watch the poorly crafted film. Your fingers run over my hands, back and forth sending thrills through my body as if it had been electrified, are you teasing? are you just fidgety? do I tease back? Fuck it.

Unlocking my hands from around your waist I run them both beneath your top, skin hitting skin as you jolt a little in shock, running them up and down until you relax and give yourself fully to me, your body softens as you put your hands to the side and lean your head back into me, softly moaning as I caress your silky skin. Your exposed neck inches from my mouth, the temptation too much for me as I sink my teeth into you, kissing and sucking and trying to control the lust swelling inside of me. You moan louder and louder as I force myself to stop, practically ripping your top from your body leaving you bare and even more vulnerable than before. My hands all over you, your body trembling as I expose your chest to the mild chill of the room, groping and teasing them as you push back into me, body squirming i pleasure the harder I play. Sweeping out from behind you I push you back onto the bed, straddled between your legs, inches away from your lips. I take a long look into your eyes before whispering your first order of the evening "Arms above head, I don't want you going anywhere"

Long silky ropes wrap around your wrists as I tighten the binds holding you down, the look on your face is one i want to savour, a mix of terror and pleasure as you realise just how vulnerable you have become, you are mine. But before I even touch you I want you to crave it, ache for it, beg for it. My hands hover over your body as they lead up to my legs, sliding my zipper down as my shorts hit the floor, boxer shorts not far behind releasing my throbbing cock from its cage. Your eyes focusing on the several droplets that run down the length of me caught by my hand as I rub them in, teasing my tip as it glistens, every few seconds throbbing slightly at the idea of having you. My strokes get harder and harder as i straddle your chest higher and higher until I'm inches away from you, your mouth gaping as you wishfully expect a taste, I hover just out of reach until a sweet droplet of pre cum falls straight onto your willing lips forcing a heavy moan to escape and resonate around me.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/2ikzly/m4f_second_attempt_after_critique_let_me_know